Explorers find pyramids of ‘Lost City of Giants’ in Ecuador rain forest

bigpyramidA team of explorers has found a gigantic stone pyramid (and gigantic stone hammers) in the Amazonian rain forest of Ecuador, an ancient complex which corresponds to a local legend about a City of Giants.

AncientOrigins.net reports:

At the discovered site there is one extremely large pyramidal type structure of approximately 80 metres square base and 80 metres height, with steeply inclined walls. This structure is made up of irregular shaped large cut stone blocks, each currently calculated to be approximately 2 tonnes in weight; many hundreds of such blocks make up the walls of the building.

Mas…Explorers find pyramids of ‘Lost City of Giants’ in Ecuador rain forest

Oxford: Big butt women are smarter, healthier *UPDATED w/ VIDEO


* An interview with the University of Oxford butt fat researcher [Updated 7:45 PM PDT Nov. 2, 2013.]


vander(PNS reporting from ENGLAND) Scientists at the University of Oxford have uncovered evidence that women with big butts are not only the most intelligent, but also the most resistant to chronic illnesses.

The study examined the fat accumulated in different parts of a woman’s body, and found that women with a phat ass were less likely to get diabetes, since they are more likely to produce hormones to metabolize sugar.

What’s more, women with big booties tended to have lower levels of cholesterol and fewer heart problems, according to the study.

We translated the Fafhoo Noticas report:

Women with a big butt, wide hips and a narrow waist can live longer, and even be more intelligent, since the Omega 3 fats stored in their butts support brain development.

Mas…Oxford: Big butt women are smarter, healthier *UPDATED w/ VIDEO

Birthers question Sen. Wendy Davis of Texas: ‘Is she really white?’

wenddavissneakers(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Local “birthers” have temporarily put aside their doubts about Pres. Barack Obama’s citizenship to a focus on a question closer to home:

Is Texas State Senator Wendy Davis – a Democratic candidate for governor – a secret Latina?

They assert that Davis is the Anglo version of Juana; that Davis was born into a Mexican family in Oklahoma, and after successfully using her heritage and gender to get into Harvard Law School, she descended on the Lone Star State to reclaim Texas for Aztlán.

Davis gained national attention in June with a filibuster against a Republican bill to severely restrict abortions (while wearing sneakers.) She officially announced her candidacy on October 3.

“There’s no way a real Texan, would be on the side of Latinos in this state — haven’t you been paying attention?” asked Mary Jones, founder of the North Texas Tea Party Patriots, who is also an Obama birther.

“The truth is that we don’t know the truth. She could be a secret Aztlanist who’s been ‘passing’ all this time, we just don’t know, all we’re doing is asking the question.”

Mas…Birthers question Sen. Wendy Davis of Texas: ‘Is she really white?’

Mexican Football League fans: ‘WTF is the big deal about team names?’

mfl(PNS reporting from TIJUANA) While the American sports industrial complex is still debating the insensitive and racist Native American mascot of the Washington Redskins, fans and players of the Mexican Football League (MFL) openly question the sensitivity of some in U.S. sports circles.

Tijuana resident and avid MFL fan Nestor Gil de Vaca is puzzled.

“What is the problem with the gringos?” he asked PNS. “Sports team mascots are just that, mascots. It’s not like they are real people. I am a huge fan of the Monterrey Judios, the Sonora Cadaveres and of course my home team, the Tijuana Travestis. No one is offended, we just like to enjoy football.”

Mas…Mexican Football League fans: ‘WTF is the big deal about team names?’

Government shutdown halts Hispanic Heritage Month in mid-month

sadted(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) Effective immediately, all Hispanic Heritage Month observations have been halted due to the current Federal Government shutdown.

HHM activities have been classified as “non-essential” and Washington has issued guidelines on toning down loud festivities and colorful displays as the U.S. Treasury runs out of funding.

As of midnight, October 15, all functions relating to Hispanic Heritage Month ceased, according to Felix Zaragosa of the General Services Administration.

“More than 2,900 Federal Mariachi Administration inspectors were initially furloughed, putting an end to inspections of mariachi uniforms and instruments. The FMA asked 800 employees to return to work last week,” he said.

Mas…Government shutdown halts Hispanic Heritage Month in mid-month

Mom puts cross on son’s front lawn to mark another failed relationship

crossonlawn(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) Sara Maestas placed a two-foot-high cruz on her only son’s lawn early this morning — a cross in remembrance of his latest failed relationship.

The 32-year-old transactional lawyer got dumped Saturday night by his novia, less than 20 minutes after he blew off a dinner date. And now his mother’s white polystyrene cross, adorned with flowers, sits front and center on Benjamin Maestas’ lawn in Montrose.

Just before a scheduled 6 PM Saturday rendezvous at Hugo’s Regional Mexican Cuisine, girlfriend Vicki Gardea got a text from Maestas saying he couldn’t meet due to “a short deadline to close on a shopping center for a multinational client.”

Mas…Mom puts cross on son’s front lawn to mark another failed relationship

Breaking: Chef Rick Bayless invents ultimate hangover cure

7upbaby640(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Black coffee, menudo, In-N-Out, mota, maybe even a little hair of the dog — all common hangover remedies, right? But according to a study from Mexican culinary genius Rick Bayless, a new discovery might have them all beat: 7-Up.

“People have helplessly suffered hangovers forever and without any kind of cure. Well, I have discovered the single greatest hangover cure of all-time and can back it up with scientific evidence. No one has ever thought of this before…it’s 7-Up, my friends. You’re welcome!” Bayless told PNS.

Mas…Breaking: Chef Rick Bayless invents ultimate hangover cure

Breaking: Latina wins Nobel for discovery of Culo Quotient

culoquotient(PNS reporting from STOCKHOLM)  A Latina math professor was awarded the Nobel Prize in Mathematics Wednesday for her discovery of the mathematical relationship between dress dimensions and the bulbousness of the culo.

“It’s such a surprise! I was just trying to figure out how to shop for clothes that would fit me without making me look like a puta,” said Cal State L.A. Professor Rosie Carrasco, speaking to PNS from the kitchen of her mom’s house in East L.A.

Carrasco’s discovery — the Culo Quotient —  is a rigorous mathematical formula that uses the ratio of the length of a back of a a dress (typically shorter) and the length of the longer front of a dress to derive an accurate measurement of the size of the dress-wearer’s culo.

Her discovery was initially released on the Internet, before a movement sprung up to nominate her for the Nobel Prize.

She is the first Latina to win the prestigious award.

Mas…Breaking: Latina wins Nobel for discovery of Culo Quotient

California immigrants hail Jerry Brown’s veto of jury duty bill

jurydutylatino(PNS reporting from SACRAMENTO) Gov. Jerry Brown vetoed legislation Monday that would have made California the first state in the nation to allow legal immigrants who are not citizens to serve on juries.

The governor has recently approved bills expanding the rights of immigrants, including legislation allowing those in the country without documents to apply for driver’s licenses and practice law. Democrat Brown said serving on a jury, however, was a civic duty that should be exclusive to citizens.

Ronaldo Santa Flojeraz (photo), 36, a client of the of  Los Angeles Immigrant Rights Labor Center, welcomed Brown’s decision. “Thank you, Governor Brown, for vetoing that bill,” he told PNS. “I was not looking forward to having to avoid the jury duty summons mailers sent by the local courts. I got better things to do.”

Mas…California immigrants hail Jerry Brown’s veto of jury duty bill

From Venuezuela: Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле (chupacabra video)


Hey! I took Russki in college. Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле means “corpse of a chupacabra [found] in Venezuela.”

Poor Venezuela. Ever since Commandante Hugo Chavez died, his chosen successor Nicolas Maduro has had to cope with a series of Yanqui plots that are screwing up the economy in his socialist paradise.

First came the toilet paper shortage which Maduro blamed on imperialist sabotage, although he later tried to paint it as an example of his economic successes, claiming Venezuelan shit production had reached record levels, thereby outstripping the papel hygenico supply.

Mas…From Venuezuela: Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле (chupacabra video)

Careful, ladies: Driving ‘rolls up the pelvis’ and Pocho Ocho other things

pelvisshiekh640 Driving is bad for your lady parts, according to Saudi Sheikh Saleh bin Saad al-Luhaydan, a “judicial and psychological consultant to the Gulf Psychological Association.”

Al Arabiya reports:

Driving ‘could have a reverse physiological impact. Physiological science and functional medicine studied this side [and found] that it automatically affects ovaries and rolls up the pelvis. This is why we find for women who continuously drive cars their children are born with clinical disorders of varying degrees,” al-Luhaydayn told Saudi news website sabq.org.

But that’s only the beginning of the problems that are caused when women take the wheel. Here’s the sheikh’s list of the Pocho Ocho other side-effects:

Mas…Careful, ladies: Driving ‘rolls up the pelvis’ and Pocho Ocho other things

Coon-hunting man kills chupacabra in Pigtown, Mississippi (video)


WJTV News Channel 12 writes:

(Leake County, MS) A hunter in Leake County killed a mysterious animal in a repurposed chicken-coop on Wednesday morning. Some people in the area say it could be the mythical Chupacabra.

The hairless creature was killed in Pigtown – a community in Lena, Mississippi. Armed with a .22, Matthew Harrell said he was “coon hunting” when he saw the glowing red eyes in the hay.

Continued at WJTV News Channel 12….

Breaking: Area man stunned by woman’s verbal assault

tobacco-road-miami(PNS reporting from MIAMI) Frequent catcaller Ruben Torres was stunned Monday evening when a woman he was ogling and taunting at an area dive bar flipped him the bird and berated him in front of his friends.

“I can’t believe she did that to me, man!” he said tearfully in an exclusive PNS interview. “Why would she be so mean?”

Clarissa Cortés told PNS she was “just not having it,” after a 10-hour day balancing the books at Ponce de Leon Wholesale Rejuvenation Supplies and then fighting the traffic on the Palmetto Expressway. She just wanted to leave Tobacco Road on South Miami Avenue and go home to Brickell. Torres’ catcall was the last straw, she said.

“Oh hell no, not after the day I had,” Cortés said. “So I turned around, flipped him the bird and told him that he was an hijo de puta!”

Mas…Breaking: Area man stunned by woman’s verbal assault