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Breaking: ‘Devious Maids’ producer preps ‘Desperate Tontos’

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bigtonto(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Television producer Marc Cherry is developing a new series called Desperate Tontos, which is about four white actors donning even whiter makeup to play Native Americans. The series is seen as a comeback attempt following Cherry’s floundering Devious Maids series, which was a disastrous attempt to portray Latinas.

Cherry admits Maids took him a little out of his comfort zone as a writer. “I’m a white guy, and I should write what I know,” said Cherry. “And what I know is how to be a white man pimping other people’s cultures.”

Mas…Breaking: ‘Devious Maids’ producer preps ‘Desperate Tontos’

Breaking: Rick Perry moving West: ‘Let’s turn Cali red!’

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rickperryreelection(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Rick Perry told a crowd of press and supporters here Monday that he will not seek another term as Texas governor when his term expires in 18 months.

Instead, the longest-serving governor in Texas’ history said he was going to do the unthinkable: move to California to turn the state back into a Republican stronghold.

“Now that Democrats have set their sights on Texas, I want to return the favor and head to the Golden State and bring a brand of compassionate conservatism that ruled the state in the good ol’ days,” the  former GOP presidential nominee wannabe said.

Mas…Breaking: Rick Perry moving West: ‘Let’s turn Cali red!’

[Guest Editorial] Let’s face it, Morrissey was bad for Egypt

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Morrissey was neither qualified nor cholafied to run Egypt. Totally in the Nile.

Srsly. “By order of the Prophet,” he banned that boogie sound. WTF?

Muslim Brotherhood, my peckerwood! If the rebels get re-Tweeted, the tyrant is defeated.

In ancient Africa, the pharoahs and pharoahitas communicated with Sirius the Dog Star — long before the white devils barked at the Moon. Nubians found the Monolith, and we were nubies no more.

Mas…[Guest Editorial] Let’s face it, Morrissey was bad for Egypt

Breaking: Bolivia says U.S. ‘racially-profiled’ Morales’ jet

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not_evo(PNS reporting from LA PAZ) Bolivian Pres. Evo Morales is angry that the United States “racially-profiled” his jet as it was leaving a conference in Moscow and forced it to land in Austria, the whitest country in Europe.

Bolivian Foreign Minister David Choquehuanca, who was mistaken for Morales at a press conference in Vienna, said the incident last week was a clear case of racial profiling, as the first question authorities asked the pilot when they landed was, “Do you know why we pulled you over?”

Austria charged the plane matched the description of another plane that was suspected of smuggling fugitive U.S. intelligence leaker Edward Snowden out of Russia, and that its tail light was out, according to Choquehuanca.

Mas…Breaking: Bolivia says U.S. ‘racially-profiled’ Morales’ jet

Texas Senate to ban ‘non-traditional’ colored sneakers on floor

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wendysneakersbig(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Texas Senate is set to pass legislation to ban “non-traditional” colored sneakers on the chamber floor.

Sen. Dan Ireland (R-Dallas) introduced Senate Bill 5 to “raise sartorialism of the chamber by mandating the use of traditional colors of sneakers.”

The Texas legislature has begun its second special session to push through legislation that sent thousands of Texans to the Capitol to protest last week.  Ireland called these Texans the “unruly mob, whose decorum and multi-colored footwear, left much to be desired.”

SB5 “mandates that all sneakers worn shall be plain white.”

Mas…Texas Senate to ban ‘non-traditional’ colored sneakers on floor

Pocho Ocho new ignorant GOP proposals for Texas (photos, video)

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texasmapThe anti-abortion SB5 bill was delayed but not defeated after Sen. Wendy Davis’s spectacular filibuster with pink sneakers, but the battle for common sense in Texas (photo, above) continues.

We already told you about the attempt to outlaw “looking too Mexican,” but that’s not the only trick the Republicans have up their (cotton-poly-blend) sleeves.

From our Ostin Especial Correspondents — this just in — here are the GOP’s Pocho Ocho new proposals for Texas:

8. Henceforth, the value for Pi π shall, for efficiency purposes, be rounded down to 3.00; additionally only apple pi is permitted

7. SB666, dubbed the “God Is My Co-Pilot Bill,” requires a Gideon Bible in every glove compartment

6. Hug a tree, go to jail

Mas…Pocho Ocho new ignorant GOP proposals for Texas (photos, video)

Elise Roedenbeck Filibusters: ‘How To Do the Wendy’ (video)

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It’s not easy standing up for women’s rights in Texas, but the heroic filibuster by State Sen. Wendy Davis kept the GOP’s anti-abortion SB5 from passing Tuesday night. Our MiJA, Elise Roedenbeck, learned how to Do the Wendy for the camera. [Disclosure: The settlement agreement approved by the judge means we must stay at least 100 yards away from Ms. Roedenbeck, but we can still remind people that she is POCHO’s New Jack City Burro Jefe, Emeritus.]

Defense contractors on immigration bill: ‘Time to get a new Beemer’

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) The Senate’s approval of a bipartisan “immigration reform” bill Thursday — a bill which Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) says will create “the most militarized border since the Berlin Wall” — has defense contractors talking, and drooling.

The hot topic? The untold millions of dollars that may become available if Uncle Sam gets serious about “security.”

It’s the inevitable transition, cynics say, from Eisenhower’s old-school military-industrial complex to the new Post-Millennial MIGRA-Industrial Complex. But government contractors and suppliers have a more nuanced view.

Mas…Defense contractors on immigration bill: ‘Time to get a new Beemer’

Pocho Ocho things you should know now that Salvadorans > Cubans

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People with roots in El Salvador may soon replace Cuban-Americans as the third-largest “Hispanic-origin group,” according to The Pew Research Center:

For more than 40 years, one rock-solid element of Hispanic demographics has been the relative ranking of the three largest Hispanic-origin groups: Mexicans have always been the largest by population, followed by Puerto Ricans and then Cubans.

But this may be changing. The Salvadoran population’s growth rate has been about double that of the Cuban population (33% versus 17%). As a result, the Salvadoran population is now poised to overtake the Cuban population in the next few years.

But what does this mean to me, you ask? Here are the Pocho Ocho things you should know about your new neighbors:

Mas…Pocho Ocho things you should know now that Salvadorans > Cubans

Online surge of Constitutional Law, Bible experts slows the Internets

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(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) The Internets slowed to a virtual crawl yesterday as millions of experts in Constitutional Law and The Holy Bible took to Twitter and Facebook to educate ignorant netizens about the God-hating freedom-attacking Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage.

“It was definitely a brownout, dude,” according to 18-year-old Jaime “Twitchy” Loftwich, who runs the worldwide computer network from the basement of his mom’s home in Palo Alto. “Hella load,” he emailed PNS. “I haven’t seen ping times like that since Kim Kardashian was rushed to Cedars-Sinai!”

Mas…Online surge of Constitutional Law, Bible experts slows the Internets

Texas legislators want to outlaw ‘looking too Mexican in public’

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(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Texas Senate is currently considering a bill that would outlaw “looking too Mexican in public.”

Senate Bill 32 was introduced by senators from East and North Texas who say the law will celebrate American and Texas culture.

“Texas has a proud and long history of being American, or Texan, and that should be celebrated,” said Fort Worth area Republican Sen. Alice Boswell.

“It’s not like Texas was never Mexico, so why should Mexicans here be allowed to celebrate that culture?”

Mas…Texas legislators want to outlaw ‘looking too Mexican in public’

Accused rapist? Fugitive spy? Ask your travel agent to ‘Do Ecuador’

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(PNS reporting from QUITO) You don’t have to be an accused rapist hiding from the Swedish police like Julian Assange or an alleged spy like Edward Snowden to consider asylum in the República del Ecuador.

That’s the message of the new Do Ecuador marketing campaign from Ecuador’s Ministry of Tourism, which was announced in this high-altitude capital city Monday.

“There are only 15 million of us here in a country that covers 109,000 square miles, so come on down!” gasping-for-breath State Secretary for Tourism Gandalfo Gordo explained between hits of oxygen at a press conference in the newly-remodeled Safe House Hotel, formerly El Motel Seis.

Mas…Accused rapist? Fugitive spy? Ask your travel agent to ‘Do Ecuador’

Flash: ‘Foxy Farmworkers’ set for Fall premiere on Fox

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(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Hoping to capitalize on the Devious Maids buzz, Fox will jump on the stereotypical Latino programming bandwagon with a new entry this fall called Foxy Farmworkers.

The show will follow a quirky group of “young, single and ready-to-mingle” Mexican farmworkers as they make their way from the impoverished US-Mexico border to fields in Washington, Oregon, Montana, Michigan.

Between backbreaking 14-16 hour days in the sun and working in the fields, the young men manage to get themselves into a world of trouble chasing after petite, white women in the towns they pass through, breaking hearts along the way.

Mas…Flash: ‘Foxy Farmworkers’ set for Fall premiere on Fox

Attention Mexican voters: Morris el candigato is a freakin’ cat! (video)

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Morris the cat is a write-in candidate for mayor in Xalapa, Veracruz, MX. He’s a candigato, get it?

TodaysInBox reports:

MEXICO CITY — Fed up with politicians they call “rats,” a group of friends in the eastern Mexican city of Xalapa have put forward their ideal candidate for mayor: a cat named Morris.

Xalapa resident Sergio Chamorro, who adopted the cat in August, said the plan began as a joke between friends borne out of their frustration with the Veracruz state government over freedom of speech.

“Fed up of voting for rats? Vote for a cat,” reads one campaign poster featuring the black and white cat, using the Spanish “ratas” for rats and “gato” for Morris.

Mas…Attention Mexican voters: Morris el candigato is a freakin’ cat! (video)

Animal Planet Latino launches controversial show ‘Devious Mermaids’

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(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Animal Planet Latino will be premiering a new “documentary” series that has stirred the waters of controversy.

The new cable show, Devious Mermaids, will explore the lives of five captured Latina mermaids who live in a giant tank on display at a Florida aquatic park set in the fictional town of Orlando.

Critics of the show are disturbed by what they call misleading and unrealistic portrayal of Latinas.

They also are assailing creator Marc Cherry, charging that as a middle-aged landlubber, he is insensitive when it comes to interpreting the experience of Latina mermaids.

Mas…Animal Planet Latino launches controversial show ‘Devious Mermaids’

GOP, Christians reach out to millennials: ‘Rappin’ for Jesus’

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If the GOP has any future, it needs fresh blood, according to young Christian conservatives at a recent right-wing confab.

And reaching “Millenials” means communicating in the languages These Kids Today know — sarcasm, hiphop, humor and snark.

“How do you make abortion funny?” That was a key question mulled at a major conservative gathering Friday on how to make social conservatism appealing to young people, after an election where Republicans got trounced in the battle for millennial voters (who are are moving even further and further away from the Christian-right on marriage and other issues).

Mas…GOP, Christians reach out to millennials: ‘Rappin’ for Jesus’

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