Immigration Bill clears Senate committee on way to becoming law


(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) A bruised, battered and patched-up Immigration Bill cleared a major hurdle Tuesday as a bipartisan 13-5 vote kicked Bill out of the Judiciary Committee and onto the Senate floor.

POCHO caught up with Bill in his dressing room after the committee vote and got him to agree to a short, on-the-record interview:

POCHO: You sleazed past the tricky gay partner trap, you sucked up to the high tech lobby, you bribed the security-is-our-business government contractors and now you’re one step closer to becoming a law. So how does it feel?

IMMIGRATION BILL: What do you want me to say? I’m just a Bill, I’m just a Bill and I’m sitting here on Capitol Hill.

POCHO: How do you get the strength to maintain day after day? What’s your secret?

Mas…Immigration Bill clears Senate committee on way to becoming law

In LaLa Land, in 2005, we were ‘Livin’ Villagairosa’ (audio)

Antonio Villaraigosa came into the Los Angeles’ Mayor’s office with so much promise in 2005.

My radio show on KPFK, The Pocho Hour of Power (heard Fridays at 4PM PST on 90.7 FM) produced and played this also hopeful and playful tune, Livin’ Villaraigosa, to document the excitement and also skewer the anti-Mexican conspiracy theorists who were raising a Reconquista alarm about Villaraigosa.

Mas…In LaLa Land, in 2005, we were ‘Livin’ Villagairosa’ (audio)

Pocho Ocho best ways to market to ‘Hispanics’

They’re confused, the poor marketeers. They try so hard to sell fish esticks and bleach and PETA to “Hispanics,” but they are low and slow on the learning curve.

Nearly Half of Second-Gen Hispanics Feel Like Ads Don’t Target Them, laments the tradezine Adweek.

You mean pochos with limited/zero Spanish aren’t picking up trendy brand tips watching telenovelas on Spanish-language TV? And nobody reading this story really cares all that much about Juanes’ aftershave? What’s an earnest marketeer to do?

Los Pochodores are here to help with the Pocho Ocho best ways to reach out to that elusive “Hispanic” market:

Mas…Pocho Ocho best ways to market to ‘Hispanics’

Venezuela shit production hits record, outpaces toilet paper supply

toiletpaperThe Venezuelan Bolivarian Revolution, now firmly guided by the strong and steady hand of Commandante El Presidente Nicolas Maduro, has achieved new records in the production of shit, or mierda as it is known locally.

But pride in the record April crop of fecal material was tempered by a Western capitalist conspiracy which has left the country short of papel higiénico.

Britain’s Metro News reports:

Mas…Venezuela shit production hits record, outpaces toilet paper supply

Breaking: Miami woman reveals plans to quit Facebook

(PNS reporting from MIAMI) South Beach resident Christina Patricia Santiago is planning to leave Facebook on Friday, according to a Status Update she published Sunday night.

Responding to a question from Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, who asked Santiago “What’s on your mind?” when she logged into her account, the 32-year-old media buyer for a boutique advertising firm told 442 Facebook “friends” she does “not have time for this bullshit.”

“Nikki: I don’t care who Selena Gomez is seeing,” she wrote.

Mas…Breaking: Miami woman reveals plans to quit Facebook

Disney Day of the Dead faux pas: Latinos turned noise into news (audio)

From NPR: When Disney tried to trademark Dia de los Muertos for their new movie merchandise inspired by the Mexican holiday, Latinos picked up their own mice, went online and turned things back around.

For this week’s News or Noise, Latino USA guest host Luis Antonio Perez speaks with POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz and Kety Esquivel, a digital media strategist, about how Latinos online retaliated against the entertainment giant.

Breaking: Congress to probe ‘illegal immigrant sneaker code’

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Rep. Randolph Snopes (R-AL) plans committee hearings next week to investigate reports that “illegal immigrants” from Mexico are encoding secret messages in sneakers hanging over telephone wires — messages about how to avoid police, sell drugs and promote terrorism, PNS has learned.

Snopes, chairman of the Unamerican Activities Committee, maintains that evidence of  “sneaker-encoded propaganda” has been covered up by “high echelons of the Obama Administration,” according to leaked committee documents circulating on Capitol Hill.

Mas…Breaking: Congress to probe ‘illegal immigrant sneaker code’

Obama says ‘F★ck it’ in tricky bid for GOP immigration reform votes

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) President Barack Obama gave up his efforts to pass comprehensive immigration reform this week, informing Republican leaders that he didn’t care about reform anymore.

“Fuck it!” Obama reportedly told Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) in a conference call Tuesday.

“I don’t care about reform anymore, are you happy? Don’t pass it, see if I fuckin’ care!”

Washington insiders say that the president’s sudden change of heart on immigration has less to do with his actual desire to see reform pass and more to do with tactical consderations. Every time the president wants to pass legislation, Republicans balk — so if he doesn’t want to pass immigration reform, the thinking goes, conservatives will play along.

Mas…Obama says ‘F★ck it’ in tricky bid for GOP immigration reform votes

Breaking: Silicio Barrio startup demos 3D tortilla printer

(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Previously-secret startup MasaTek.com today unveiled a hardware/software combo that uses 3D printing to print corn or flour tortillas with the religious or brand image of your choice.

“The waiting is over!” Carlos Molinero, president of the Silicio Barrio company, told reporters here. “You need Jesus? He’s just a click away. La Virgen is always on deck!”

The WiFi-enabled printer is the size of a small microwave and has a hopper on top for masa. It uses open source 3D software, Molinero said, and is easily addressable with standard CAD tools.

Mas…Breaking: Silicio Barrio startup demos 3D tortilla printer

Breaking: Ancient Mayan pyramid foreclosed on, demolished

(PNS reporting from BELIZE CITY) The Nohmul complex, an ancient Mayan pyramid in the north of this Central American country, was recently bulldozed by a local contractor who used the crushed rock to “fill” a road. Nohmul was utilized as a ceremonial center 2,300 years ago.

After public outcry from archaeologists, local authorities said they would investigate the demolition.

Belize real estate attorney Alejandro Bolsa de Duchez defended the destruction:

Mas…Breaking: Ancient Mayan pyramid foreclosed on, demolished

An Open Letter to the Denver Public Library Commission

An Open Letter to the Denver Public Library Commission:

I am writing in response to the so-called “ire” that was reported in the Denver Post regarding the new West Denver library being named after Rodolfo Corky Gonzales.

I am an author/publisher and a Denver native. I am also Chicano. My roots in Denver run deep and though I may live far from the Mile High City now, Denver will always be home.

How can one convey to you in such a limited space how iconic Gonzales is? The man is legend, not just in Colorado but nationally. Though the Chicano/a movement is not what it used to be in Denver, its roots are still there. There are those who would balk at this library – those who would like nothing more than to wipe Corky’s memory from the history books, just as they are trying to do with our books and history in Arizona, despite the fact that these things are as American as anything else. Ignorance speaks volumes.

Mas…An Open Letter to the Denver Public Library Commission

Stoner Latino student calls woman’s mom a ‘wetback’ on Facebook

(PNS reporting from  SAN MARCOS, TX) Seventeen-year-old San Marcos High School senior Byron Chavez called someone’s mother a “wetback” in a comment on a Facebook photo yesterday — Mothers Day.

Chavez, the grandson of Mexican immigrants, used the W-word in response to a widely-circulated picture of a young woman at an immigration reform rally holding a sign reading “Fuck Weed. Legalize My Mom.”

Chavez posted “Fuck your wetback mom! Legalize Weed!” 30 minutes after his cousin Lauren Saucedo posted the image on her timeline .

“I was taken aback by his comment,”  Saucedo emailed PNS. “Our grandparents were immigrants who came from Mexico looking for a better future.”

Mas…Stoner Latino student calls woman’s mom a ‘wetback’ on Facebook

Are you bigote-challenged? Try Turkey for mustache transplants

Do you have trouble growing a big bigote?

Are you follicle-challenged in the upper liply region?

Are you the lone bare-faced boy in a room of full of hirsute hombres?

Let’s talk turkey, carnal.

We mean Turkey with capital T that rhymes with “pee.” OK, maybe that’s a bad example.  But Turkey, the sick man of Europe, may have the ‘stache you’ve been looking for.

The Wall Street Journal reports:

Mas…Are you bigote-challenged? Try Turkey for mustache transplants

BBC Video: ‘Nuns’ with nasty coke habits busted in Colombia


Colombian police have arrested three women dressed as nuns who were trying to smuggle six kilos (13.1 pounds) of cocaine hidden under their habits. The trio was popped as they were passing through the Colombian Island of San Andres – a notorious drug-trafficking route. The fake nuns were searched after police saw them acting suspiciously.

Mas…BBC Video: ‘Nuns’ with nasty coke habits busted in Colombia

Breaking: Crickett recalls kids’ rifles over safety concerns

(PNS reporting from PENNSYLVANIA) Crickett Firearms has recalled My First Rifle over safety concerns about the toxic paint used to coat the firearms.

“Our kids’ safety is utmost, so we are pulling some of our children’s weapons, especially the brightly-colored Hello Kitty model,” says Crickett spokesperson Wes Smithson. 

Mas…Breaking: Crickett recalls kids’ rifles over safety concerns

PBS ‘Downton Abbey’ series adds first adorable black character

(PNS reporting from LONDON) Downton Abbey executive producer Gareth Neame said today that newcomer Gary Coleman’s addition to the British show “will bring interesting twists to the drama.” The cute-as-a-button actor has most recently been seen in various American sitcoms and reality programs.

His Downton character, Arnold Jackson, is described as “a charming and charismatic” young man. The long-awaited addition marks the first time Downton has had an adorable black character.

Mas…PBS ‘Downton Abbey’ series adds first adorable black character

Breaking: Sunday’s Cinco de Mayo called ‘most dangerous ever’


(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America’s observance of Cinco de Mayo on Sunday was the “most dangerous ever” according to a report released here today by the National Institute of Holidays (NIH.)

A record 1378 emergency room visits by gringos failing the “chile challenge” were reported by the group as well as 287 “chancla accidents.”

Mas…Breaking: Sunday’s Cinco de Mayo called ‘most dangerous ever’

Happy Inko! Celebrate National Cartoonists Day on Cinco de Mayo

Happy Inko de Mayo from La Cucaracha!

Yes, today is the day where we celebrate cartoonists, as it is National Cartoonists Day.

Serio, the National Cartoonists Society started this event a few years ago, apparently  because they had no Latino members at the time who might have mentioned May 5 is already Cinco de Mayo, but, hey, I’m glad they ran with it!

So, let’s honor our ink-stained heroes who go back to the drawing table day after day and try to provide you with some laughs, smirks or even a muted chuckle. I am happy to double celebrate on this day, especially as a Chicano cartoonist and avid Battle of Puebla recreator. So throw a few back today (of course I mean espresso, we’re celebrating cartoonists for heaven’s sake!)

Cartel street battle in Mexico ends in rout of French gang invaders

(PNS reporting from MEXICO) Federales are cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead.

The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.

Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.

Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.

But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.

Mas…Cartel street battle in Mexico ends in rout of French gang invaders

Corn tortilla achieves enlightenment on unattended Texas comal

tortillas on a comal(PNS reporting from Edinburg, TX) A corn tortilla was released from its physical shell and achieved enlightenment last night when it was inadvertently consumed by fire during Gil Trejo’s dinner preparations.

The University of South Texas assistant professor of Latin American literature was heating the traditional Mexican flat bread to accompany leftover frijoles con queso when he became distracted by an intense scene in the sitcom How I Met Your Mother. He sat down in his living room, thoughtlessly leaving the comal unattended.

Alone, on the flat metal griddle, the tortilla de maiz burst into flames, releasing its essence from saṃsāra and leaving behind naught but the charred husk of its temporary shell.

Mas…Corn tortilla achieves enlightenment on unattended Texas comal

Latino filmmaker claims Zach Braff stole his Kickstarter funding

(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Actor and film director Zach Braff has raised $2 million in three days to fund a follow-up to his 2004 film, Garden State.

Over 30,000 Kickstarter backers pledged $2.1-plus million to Braff’s Wish I Was Here, with 25 days left in the campaign.

Not everyone is pleased with the results of this highly-successful crowd-funding effort. Chicano filmmaker Cuahctemoc Esperanza is upset that Braff raised millions yet no one has pledged any Kickstarter money for his documentary Chicana/o Vegan-themed Musical Resistance in Chiapas During the Early 90s.

Mas…Latino filmmaker claims Zach Braff stole his Kickstarter funding