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Breaking: Activists say Zimmerman verdict hurts the babies

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pigeon(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Repercussions from the Zimmerman acquittal — which officially confirmed suspicions that nighttime walks to the store by brown and black children are risky, potentially fatal excursions — are already hurting area youngsters, according Avian-American activists.

“Trayvon Martin was just a kid walking home from the local store with Tribbles and a drink, and he ended up dead. That’s troubling,” said Southern California Birds of A Feather (BOAF) regional director The Rev. Al Pigeon (photo) in carrier email to PNS. “Now Moms are afraid to let their kids go out and my flock is having a hard time making a living.”

“Where do you think our food comes from?” he wrote. “Berries? Minnows in the Los Angeles River? Delivery from Urban Spoon? Don’t be a bird brain! Our loaves and Pepperidge Farm Goldfish are out on the street. If it wasn’t for Spittles and Flamin’ Hot Dingoes crumbs on the well-trod path between home and the 7-Eleven we’d have shit to eat. Now that’s what we call a ‘Valley of the Shadow of Death!’ And what about the children?”

East Los BOAF chapter head Popocatepetl Paloma agreed.

Mas…Breaking: Activists say Zimmerman verdict hurts the babies

Breaking: Zimmerman arrested in bizarre gun heist

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zimmermanbustedbig(PNS reporting from SANFORD, FLA) George Zimmerman is back in jail here tonight, arrested after a bizarre attempt to pinch his pistola from the police evidence room.

Zimmerman, 29, got away with murder Saturday night in the killing of unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin. Under Florida law, he is entitled to the return of his child-killing semi-automatic, a Kel-Tec 9mm handgun.

But the law apparently wasn’t moving fast enough for Zimmerman, who took matters into his own hands (sound familiar?) and attempted to sneak into the Sanford Police Department evidence room and retrieve his roscoe (photo, below.)

The Z-man tripped a security beam and cameras spotted the semi-disguised Zimmerman (photo) before he could go on the lam with his swag. The Zimster was formally arrested at 7:30PM Monday night on suspicion of burglary.

Mas…Breaking: Zimmerman arrested in bizarre gun heist

Texas lawmakers focus on Latinos with poll tax, redistricting

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texaslegislature640(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Republican-controlled Texas legislature (photo) has wasted no time in exploiting last month’s Supreme Court ruling that gutted the Voting Rights Act:

The lawmakers have passed a draconian redistricting scheme and enacted new voter registration requirements that many liken to a poll tax.

SB17, nicknamed “The Liberty Forever Bill,” mandates a laundry list of voter registration requirements “to ensure that only Texans are allowed to vote.” It passed Saturday and awaits GOP Gov. Rick Perry’s signature.

Among the measure’s exacting requirements:

Mas…Texas lawmakers focus on Latinos with poll tax, redistricting

Breaking: Napolitano brings harsh border enforcement to UC

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napolitano600(PNS reporting from BERKELEY) Department of Homeland Security Secretary (and former Arizona Governor) Janet Napolitano has accepted an offer to head up the University of California system.

Napolitano promised to do the same for the UC system that she did for the border during her time at DHS:

“I kept out and quashed as many Mexicans as any DHS Secretary could during my tenure, and now that Latinos are overtaking whites in California, I promise to do the same at the UC system,” she said in a statement.

Mas…Breaking: Napolitano brings harsh border enforcement to UC

Breaking: Taco Bell unveils new Rick Bayless-inspired burritos

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bigbeefycrunch(PNS reporting from ALAMEDA) If the Doritos Locos Tacos from Taco Bell are not satisfying your diarrheal needs, don’t worry!

The chain is introducing a chef Rick Bayless-inspired burrito that features Flamin’ Hot Fritos corn chips as a summer-only item until early August.

The burrito, which will retail for 99 cents, has rice, warm nacho cheese, beef, sour cream, and Flamin’ Hot Fritos corn chips cultivated by Bayless himself, deep in the villages of Oaxaca.

Mas…Breaking: Taco Bell unveils new Rick Bayless-inspired burritos

Popocatépetl erupts again, threat level raised, and we’ve got videos

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National Geographic reports:

Less than 40 miles outside of Mexico City, the volcano Popocatépetl is erupting, sending ash plumes roughly two miles into the atmosphere. Over the weekend, airlines took the precaution of cancelling flights out of Mexico City, even though the airport itself remained open.

Authorities have upgraded the threat status of the volcano from Yellow-Phase 2 to Yellow-Phase 3.

This news report from Canal Estrella TV (video, above) offers an aerial perspective you don’t often get to see.

Here’s the PopoCam video:

Mas…Popocatépetl erupts again, threat level raised, and we’ve got videos

Breaking: ‘Devious Maids’ producer preps ‘Desperate Tontos’

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bigtonto(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Television producer Marc Cherry is developing a new series called Desperate Tontos, which is about four white actors donning even whiter makeup to play Native Americans. The series is seen as a comeback attempt following Cherry’s floundering Devious Maids series, which was a disastrous attempt to portray Latinas.

Cherry admits Maids took him a little out of his comfort zone as a writer. “I’m a white guy, and I should write what I know,” said Cherry. “And what I know is how to be a white man pimping other people’s cultures.”

Mas…Breaking: ‘Devious Maids’ producer preps ‘Desperate Tontos’

Breaking: Rick Perry moving West: ‘Let’s turn Cali red!’

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rickperryreelection(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Rick Perry told a crowd of press and supporters here Monday that he will not seek another term as Texas governor when his term expires in 18 months.

Instead, the longest-serving governor in Texas’ history said he was going to do the unthinkable: move to California to turn the state back into a Republican stronghold.

“Now that Democrats have set their sights on Texas, I want to return the favor and head to the Golden State and bring a brand of compassionate conservatism that ruled the state in the good ol’ days,” the  former GOP presidential nominee wannabe said.

Mas…Breaking: Rick Perry moving West: ‘Let’s turn Cali red!’

[Guest Editorial] Let’s face it, Morrissey was bad for Egypt

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Morrissey was neither qualified nor cholafied to run Egypt. Totally in the Nile.

Srsly. “By order of the Prophet,” he banned that boogie sound. WTF?

Muslim Brotherhood, my peckerwood! If the rebels get re-Tweeted, the tyrant is defeated.

In ancient Africa, the pharoahs and pharoahitas communicated with Sirius the Dog Star — long before the white devils barked at the Moon. Nubians found the Monolith, and we were nubies no more.

Mas…[Guest Editorial] Let’s face it, Morrissey was bad for Egypt

Breaking: Bolivia says U.S. ‘racially-profiled’ Morales’ jet

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not_evo(PNS reporting from LA PAZ) Bolivian Pres. Evo Morales is angry that the United States “racially-profiled” his jet as it was leaving a conference in Moscow and forced it to land in Austria, the whitest country in Europe.

Bolivian Foreign Minister David Choquehuanca, who was mistaken for Morales at a press conference in Vienna, said the incident last week was a clear case of racial profiling, as the first question authorities asked the pilot when they landed was, “Do you know why we pulled you over?”

Austria charged the plane matched the description of another plane that was suspected of smuggling fugitive U.S. intelligence leaker Edward Snowden out of Russia, and that its tail light was out, according to Choquehuanca.

Mas…Breaking: Bolivia says U.S. ‘racially-profiled’ Morales’ jet

Texas Senate to ban ‘non-traditional’ colored sneakers on floor

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wendysneakersbig(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Texas Senate is set to pass legislation to ban “non-traditional” colored sneakers on the chamber floor.

Sen. Dan Ireland (R-Dallas) introduced Senate Bill 5 to “raise sartorialism of the chamber by mandating the use of traditional colors of sneakers.”

The Texas legislature has begun its second special session to push through legislation that sent thousands of Texans to the Capitol to protest last week.  Ireland called these Texans the “unruly mob, whose decorum and multi-colored footwear, left much to be desired.”

SB5 “mandates that all sneakers worn shall be plain white.”

Mas…Texas Senate to ban ‘non-traditional’ colored sneakers on floor

Pocho Ocho new ignorant GOP proposals for Texas (photos, video)

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texasmapThe anti-abortion SB5 bill was delayed but not defeated after Sen. Wendy Davis’s spectacular filibuster with pink sneakers, but the battle for common sense in Texas (photo, above) continues.

We already told you about the attempt to outlaw “looking too Mexican,” but that’s not the only trick the Republicans have up their (cotton-poly-blend) sleeves.

From our Ostin Especial Correspondents — this just in — here are the GOP’s Pocho Ocho new proposals for Texas:

8. Henceforth, the value for Pi π shall, for efficiency purposes, be rounded down to 3.00; additionally only apple pi is permitted

7. SB666, dubbed the “God Is My Co-Pilot Bill,” requires a Gideon Bible in every glove compartment

6. Hug a tree, go to jail

Mas…Pocho Ocho new ignorant GOP proposals for Texas (photos, video)

Elise Roedenbeck Filibusters: ‘How To Do the Wendy’ (video)

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It’s not easy standing up for women’s rights in Texas, but the heroic filibuster by State Sen. Wendy Davis kept the GOP’s anti-abortion SB5 from passing Tuesday night. Our MiJA, Elise Roedenbeck, learned how to Do the Wendy for the camera. [Disclosure: The settlement agreement approved by the judge means we must stay at least 100 yards away from Ms. Roedenbeck, but we can still remind people that she is POCHO’s New Jack City Burro Jefe, Emeritus.]

Defense contractors on immigration bill: ‘Time to get a new Beemer’

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) The Senate’s approval of a bipartisan “immigration reform” bill Thursday — a bill which Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) says will create “the most militarized border since the Berlin Wall” — has defense contractors talking, and drooling.

The hot topic? The untold millions of dollars that may become available if Uncle Sam gets serious about “security.”

It’s the inevitable transition, cynics say, from Eisenhower’s old-school military-industrial complex to the new Post-Millennial MIGRA-Industrial Complex. But government contractors and suppliers have a more nuanced view.

Mas…Defense contractors on immigration bill: ‘Time to get a new Beemer’

Pocho Ocho things you should know now that Salvadorans > Cubans

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People with roots in El Salvador may soon replace Cuban-Americans as the third-largest “Hispanic-origin group,” according to The Pew Research Center:

For more than 40 years, one rock-solid element of Hispanic demographics has been the relative ranking of the three largest Hispanic-origin groups: Mexicans have always been the largest by population, followed by Puerto Ricans and then Cubans.

But this may be changing. The Salvadoran population’s growth rate has been about double that of the Cuban population (33% versus 17%). As a result, the Salvadoran population is now poised to overtake the Cuban population in the next few years.

But what does this mean to me, you ask? Here are the Pocho Ocho things you should know about your new neighbors:

Mas…Pocho Ocho things you should know now that Salvadorans > Cubans

Online surge of Constitutional Law, Bible experts slows the Internets

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(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) The Internets slowed to a virtual crawl yesterday as millions of experts in Constitutional Law and The Holy Bible took to Twitter and Facebook to educate ignorant netizens about the God-hating freedom-attacking Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage.

“It was definitely a brownout, dude,” according to 18-year-old Jaime “Twitchy” Loftwich, who runs the worldwide computer network from the basement of his mom’s home in Palo Alto. “Hella load,” he emailed PNS. “I haven’t seen ping times like that since Kim Kardashian was rushed to Cedars-Sinai!”

Mas…Online surge of Constitutional Law, Bible experts slows the Internets

Texas legislators want to outlaw ‘looking too Mexican in public’

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(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Texas Senate is currently considering a bill that would outlaw “looking too Mexican in public.”

Senate Bill 32 was introduced by senators from East and North Texas who say the law will celebrate American and Texas culture.

“Texas has a proud and long history of being American, or Texan, and that should be celebrated,” said Fort Worth area Republican Sen. Alice Boswell.

“It’s not like Texas was never Mexico, so why should Mexicans here be allowed to celebrate that culture?”

Mas…Texas legislators want to outlaw ‘looking too Mexican in public’

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