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Joe the Plumber: Shoot the damn Canucks and ask questions later!

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(PNS reporting from the HATE STATE OF ARIZONA) Samuel Wurzelbacher – known to most Americans as simply “Joe the Plumber” or “dumbass” – made an recent appearance at a fundraiser for Republican Arizona State Senator candidate Lori Klein and shocked the audience by telling them that the way to solve the country’s illegal Canadian immigration problem is to station troops along the northern border and have them “start shooting the damn snowbacks.”

“For years I’ve said, you know, put a damn fence on the border going to Canada and start shooting. I’m running for Congress and that should be a bad thing to say. But you know what, it’s how I feel…I want my borders protected, I’m very, very adamant about that. I’m sick of these snowbacks sneaking in here illegally!” Wurzelbacher said.

Mas…Joe the Plumber: Shoot the damn Canucks and ask questions later!

‘La Cucaracha’ salutes Hollywood great Lupe Ontiveros (toon)

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I drew this tribute obituary comic strip for the great actress and activist Lupe Ontiveros,  who passed away on July 26. In this strip, Vero, Eddie and Cuco send off Lupe as she appears before her Hollywood Walk of Fame star in the sky. Lupe was a one-of-a-kind soul who brought lots of joy to many.

This image was displayed at her rosary and wake.

Read more about Lupe here, and see more La Cucaracha comics at Go Comics.

Letters Ñ, ¡ and ¿ sue computer keyboard makers for bias

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(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) Attorneys for typographical characters including enya (Ñ), the inverted exclamation mark (¡) and the inverted question mark (¿) accused major computer keyboard makers of deliberately ignoring their clients’ needs in a relentless race for profits in a class action suit filed here today.

“It’s a case of acquisitiveness over accents,” visibly-angry lead attorney Cuauhtémoc Basta-Piñata (photo, above) told reporters as he emerged from the court clerk’s office. “The key cap cartels make us jump through hoops just to get ourselves equal time in the public eye, all to save a few pennies on costs.”

Basta-Piñata represents the Front for Acceptance of Character Equality (FACE). Plaintiffs in the suit also include transgender characters like И and Я as well as bi-textual characters like Ǽ and Œ.

Mas…Letters Ñ, ¡ and ¿ sue computer keyboard makers for bias

Ñewsweek: Crip-walkin’, boner-stalkin’, white-talkin’ and Irish stuff

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POCHO caught Olympic fever this week as the ñews from London captivated the Internets.

Who could ever forget the magic of Serena William’s Crip-walking victory dance, complemented by our astutely-curated contextualizing rich media augmentation — a C-walk video from España?

And when a bronze-winning American rower brandished a boner at the medal ceremony, only Jon Stewart and POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal were men enough to get to the root of the problem, a story so popular that POCHO is #1 on Google when you search for “jon stewart olympic stiffy.”

*NOT ALL! MORE SAY!* Hey, white guy — the viral video for middle class male Caucasians who are sick and tired of all the damn attention being paid to women and minorities and gays — remains a World Wide Websation, and our scandalous Irish Broadcasting Authority Olympic NSFW video exposed for all of America the kind of coverage NBC was afraid to deliver.

Hella week, eh? Mira the links:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Crip-walkin’, boner-stalkin’, white-talkin’ and Irish stuff

Special Sports Video: The Olympics NBC won’t let you see (NSFW)

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As the 2012 Olympics head towards their conclusion, Americans continue to complain about NBC‘s broadcast coverage — missed events, stupid commentary, crazy time delays and worse. We snagged this sailing video from the Irish Broadcasting Authority (IBA) to show you what other folks around the world see. (NSFW language.)

RELATED:

BREAKING: Romney VP search reaches deep in the heart of Texas

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) BREAKING ÑEWS: Mitt Romney’s campaign “will neither confirm nor deny” that the GOP presidential candidate has chosen a running mate. The candidate’s vice presidential “short list” has long included Florida Sen. Marco Rubio and former governor Tim Pawlenty, but now campaign insiders are suggesting the search is over and Romney has chosen country music legend Randy Travis.

Once deemed George Bush Sr.’s favorite country music star, Travis has been actively campaigning for the slot for over a week, especially in Texas.

Mas…BREAKING: Romney VP search reaches deep in the heart of Texas

Uncle Sam setting up concentration camps for white males

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(PNS reporting from OAK CREEK, WI) Following the second mass shooting by a white male in just a few weeks, Federal authorities will soon start building and outfitting concentration camps for young, white men racially profiled as potential domestic terrorists.

The last time concentration camps were mandated in the U.S. was during World War II when thousands of Japanese-Americans lost their homes, jobs, possessions to ensure the safety of the nation.

“It’s the same principle,” FBI Special Agent Phillip Coulson told a press conference here yesterday “The truth is, no one is safe anymore when young, white men have ample access to firearms, free reign to be hateful online and white privilege that allows them to fly under the radar of our racial profiling system.”

Mas…Uncle Sam setting up concentration camps for white males

White Supremacists: This I.Q. test weeds out the really stupid ones

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White supremacists are getting increasingly stupid. When I visited the Stormfront web page (screenshot above) I found it incorrectly displayed in all its “HTML View” glory, proclaiming a twisted worldview of “White Pride World Wide.”

I hope the portly Web Nazi who uploaded his masterpiece realizes that it actually highlights the supremacy of Black HTML Text over a White European background.

And how about the skinheaded dishonorable human discharge in Milwaukee who attacked a Sikh temple? He was so stupid he shot and murdered the peaceful Sikhs because they wore turbans.

Thank Aryan Jesus that our Blonde Lord decreed that his stupid-ass disciple Wade Michael Page was to die in a pool of his own inferior blood. At least those superior genes will not go on.

To weed out the growing idiocy in the White Supremacy movement, we’ve created a very helpful Aryan I.Q. Test that organizations full of morons like the Aryan Nations, The National Association for the Advancement of White People, the Arizona Hammerskins and the Nazi Low Riders can use to cull their members before they do even more stupid crap.

Mas…White Supremacists: This I.Q. test weeds out the really stupid ones

Man hits breakfast taco with flyswatter, finds face of Jesus Christ

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It was an ordinary day in Beeville, TX, according to Paul Gonzalez of the Beeville Bee-Picayune:

BEEVILLE— There was nothing inherently different about Ernesto Garza when he walked into the newspaper office with a piece of foil folded in half.

An older man who attends La Amistad Adult Daycare, Garza walked in, sat down and said, “I have something to show you.”

“I was sitting just like I am now,” Garza said. “I ate more than half of my taco, then a fly was flying around, so I grabbed the flyswatter, and I hit it, and when I looked down, I saw it.”

It was the face of Jesus looking up at him from his half-eaten tortilla.

Mas…Man hits breakfast taco with flyswatter, finds face of Jesus Christ

California Dreaming: Let’s merge prisons and schools to save money

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(PNS reporting from SACRAMENTO) The latest attempt to alleviate the Golden State’s fiscal problems comes from the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation (CDCR), which proposed the idea of merging with the California Department of Education (CDOE).

“After comparing the type of education that a student receives in the public school system with that offered to inmates in county jails, we have concluded that the level of education is about the same,” CDCR’s Planning Director Matthew Cole told a press conference here Monday.

“The overlap between the two systems creates enormous waste; therefore, we believe the state would save billions by having the Department of Corrections absorb the school system.”

Mas…California Dreaming: Let’s merge prisons and schools to save money

Mexclusive: Curiosity’s cameras photograph possible alien life-form

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BREAKING NEWS: The Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in Pasadena has just released the first in a series of photographs from the Curiosity Mars Rover that appear to show a strange alien life-form on the surface of the Red Planet. POCHO is following the story and will bring you updates as they come in.

Ñewsweek: Ostriches attack, burritos offend and chickens go gay

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It was an ordinary day in an ordinary Mexican convenience store and recorded in grainy black and white by an ordinary surveillance video camera. And then the masked luchador entered – with a posse of ostriches.

This POCHO ñewsweek featured the Florida burritos with offensive names, chicken culture war hawk Col. Sanders’s statement on gay marriage and a chance for you to join Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz’s personal campaign to help the survivors of the Anaheim police department’s trigger-happy cops. Here are the links:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Ostriches attack, burritos offend and chickens go gay

Community offers a loving goodbye to Lupe Ontiveros

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They say everyone loves you when you’re dead. Everyone can also love you when you’re alive, if you’re Lupe Ontiveros.

The funny, talented and bursting with life Mexican-American actress passed away last Thursday in Whittier, CA.

My son and I attended Lupe Ontiveros’ Rosary service last night in Pico Rivera to pay our last respects to Lupe and her family. (See my photo of program from the memorial service.)

It was overflowing with family, friends and fans. One of her three sons read an opening note (sent via Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis) from President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama,  a message of condolence from the White House.

Everybody in Chicano theater and film was there, including Zoot Suit playwright Luis Valdez, actor Edward James Olmos, Vanessa Marquez, Pepe Serna, Evelina Fernandez, the guys from Culture Clash, UFW co-founder Dolores Huerta, current UFW President Arturo Rodriguez and many more. A girl in a “Goonies Forever” T-shirt sat near us in the balcony.

Continued at NBC Latino…

Mexican Mitt Romney’s Pocho Ocho picks for Vice Presidente

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8. Mr. Clean:  Although a white male, not a very diverse pick, Mr. Clean makes Mexican Mitt’s hair stand out even more when they stand next to each other.

7. Quaker Oats Quaker:  Another white male, but this man’s religious values and the fact that he stands for America, makes him attractive to the Romney camp. It’s the right thing to do.

6. Uncle Ben:  Fight fire with fire! Mexican Mitt says  the best way to displace the first African-American president  is to bring along a black chef! Isaac Hayes was not available.

Mas…Mexican Mitt Romney’s Pocho Ocho picks for Vice Presidente

Lady Gaga’s Latino outreach money shot: New bra spurts salsa

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(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) Lady Gaga — on tour to promote a new album — is showing off new red hot wardrobe performance pyrotechnics designed to appeal to Latinos.

The chanteuse commissioned a special exploding salsa bra (see artist’s rendering) and will personally dispense salsa into the tacos of Latinos across the country. Part of her tour will include special mini shows at taco stands across America.

As a followup to her hit song Alejandro, beloved by Latinos because of the title, Gaga’s new single is Tapa Tetas, a play on the name of the popular salsa, Tapatio. The song deals with a spicy Latina who is trying to find her place in the world.

Mas…Lady Gaga’s Latino outreach money shot: New bra spurts salsa

Col. Sanders on Chick-Fil-A: Gay? What’s the big clucking deal?

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(PNS reporting from DIXIE) Legendary chicken mogul Col. Harlan Sanders is a hawk in the chicken culture wars and he’s not afraid to let the whole clucking chicken world know it.

The white-haired international icon and Kentucky Fried Chicken fast food magnate today issued this statement:

I completely respect the Chick-Fil-A chicken restaurant business built by CEO Dan Cathy, and the Christian principles you espouse are fine as wine, but come on, give it a Goddamn rest. Are you selling chicken or your dumb-ass views? This guy is as full of wind as a corn-eating horse.

I personally don’t give a good Goddamn what the homos do in the privacy of their nicely-decorated bedrooms. Hell, they can do it in the bathroom of the KFC, I don’t give a June Bug’s nut sack! I just want their money. Do I hate gay marriage? Who gives a duck’s ass?! Buy some of my chicken. Come in with your flamin’ gay self and order a bucket of Original, Crispy, or BBQ. Hell, I might even come up with a new flavor, “Extra Gay”!

Mas…Col. Sanders on Chick-Fil-A: Gay? What’s the big clucking deal?

Anaheim police brutality protest t-shirt fundraiser

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Specify Tshirt Size Wanted!


Paypal button simplified! Please write in what size Tshirt you want, ie: S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL

I created the above image as a response to the outrageous and murderous police brutality by the Anaheim Police Department recently against two young men in the Anaheim barrio. The families are not only dealing with protesting against the Anaheim PD and City Hall, but also the costs of funerals for these two men, arguably executed by the Anaheim PD.

Mas…Anaheim police brutality protest t-shirt fundraiser

Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah Zip-a-Dee-Guns; Hola Anaheim, We’re Havin’ Fun

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Now in the shadows of the world’s most famous amusement park residents of Anaheim are bravely (and in some cases stupidly) confronting the Anaheim Police Department, an at times callous, authoritative government power that isn’t accustomed to being questioned even when it executes people. Crisis always spurs creativity and the most original ideas are presently forming outside of the gates of Disneyland.


Art by Lalo Alcaraz, photo by Johnny Nguyen.

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