Frequentes

Regular features

Mayan Apocalypse 2012: Meet the word’s first burrito-making robot

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Screenshot of the Burritob0t project page
A cute logo is included with every burrito!

Yes, we know the TacoCopter, the food-delivering unmanned aerial vehicle, was a gosh darn internet hoax, but this new Burritob0t with a web page and tech specs and photos filled with truthiness is the real thing. We swear!

TechCrunch reports:

So this guy at NYU made something special. Are you listening? Put down your phone. Listen. So they made a machine that prints… no, don’t check Twitter. They made a machine that prints burritos. It’s called Burritob0t. I know, right? Seriously. Slow down with the porn for a second. This is important.

Mas…Mayan Apocalypse 2012: Meet the word’s first burrito-making robot

Navajo Rangers keep ‘open mind’ on Bigfoot, UFO reports (videos)

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OpenMinds.TV reports: “The Navajo Rangers have been modestly performing their duties on the reservation for more than 50 years…[and]…their investigations have included UFO sightings, paranormal cases and Bigfoot.”

In March, the Rangers’ work attracted the attention of the news team at the local CBS TV station. Here’s their exclusive news video:

Mas…Navajo Rangers keep ‘open mind’ on Bigfoot, UFO reports (videos)

Giant Sun-eating space dragon chased away by pot-banging hippies

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News photog Trey Buchet captured the space dragon's first bite
(PNS reporting from MALIBU) Pot-banging hippies gathered on Southern California beaches yesterday and chased away the space dragon that was swallowing our Sun.

“We totally knew this humongous dragon was comin’ brah, so we set up a Facebook page and got everyone down here with their bongos and pots and pans. Our sonic countermeasures commenced mere seconds after the sun-gobbling began,” a pot-banger named Donald Dank told PNS.

National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) officials confirmed the monster space dragon’s departure.

Mas…Giant Sun-eating space dragon chased away by pot-banging hippies

Amazon dinosaur hunt? What else could these pictographs be? (video)

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ZOMG! Do these 5000-year-old pictographs show men chasing and spearing a sauropod dinosaur, ages after the giant reptiles’ alleged extinction? Does this mean the Biblical creation story is right and science is wrong? In this new Amazon rainforest video, Canadian “creationist” Vance Nelson is very impressed by a “secular” expert’s testimony, but he can’t get the expert to testify on camera.

Are the South American tribesmen chasing a huge alligator or is it something else? Is this “creationist” piling inference upon speculation to reach unwarranted conclusions to support his religious agenda? Our ancestors painted pictures of dragons and unicorns, too. Does that mean they existed as well?

Silver UFO crashes on hillside, retrieved by Chilean military (videos)

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It was a silvery object 15 meters (50 feet) across, the witnesses said.

The excellent “Hispanic Ufology” blog Inexplicata reports:

[At]… 15:45 hours, residents of Paihuano, a small village in Valle de Elquí (Chile) underwent an extraordinary experience which keep its 2,500 residents on the edge of their seats. A flying object described as having a metallic color and measuring some 15 meters across remained motionless over the Las Mollacas hill, from which the entire town could be seen.

Mas…Silver UFO crashes on hillside, retrieved by Chilean military (videos)

Opinion: We must fight the anti-Mayan Calendar Illuminati 1% (video)

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We might not know anything about them, but Anonymous knows almost everything about us, including stuff THE MAN doesn’t want YOU to know.

The modishly-masked online crusaders will soon shock our chakras with the truth about apocalyptic confluences predicted by the Mayan Calendar and aether-entities from outer espace. Predictably, the Mainstream Media New World Order 1% Wall Street Ivy League Illuminati White Elite is fighting back.

The recent Anonymous blipvert above, for example, was followed by UPenn (founded by life on Mars expert and immigrant hater Benjamin Franklin) joining the Illuminati conspiracy to discredit the Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 scenario.

One group of chronology-challenged eschatologists even claimed that a recently-discovered calendar — which is older than the Doomsday Calendar — somehow makes the newer calendar wrong. Doh! Illogical!

Mas…Opinion: We must fight the anti-Mayan Calendar Illuminati 1% (video)

Only 1 in 7 believe in impending Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012

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Only 15% will get a piece of Mayan Pie
Only 1 in 7 people has faced up to the fact that the world will end soon and maybe in December, according to a new poll released by Reuters.

“Whether they think it will come to an end through the hands of God, or a natural disaster or a political event, whatever the reason, one in seven thinks the end of the world is coming,” said Keren Gottfried, research manager at Ipsos Global Public Affairs which conducted the poll for Reuters.

“Perhaps it is because of the media attention coming from one interpretation of the Mayan prophecy that states the world ‘ends’ in our calendar year 2012,” Gottfried said.

Confused by the controversy? We need some disinformation and we need it now, and that’s why we turned to the Disinformation Company for this video.

Mas…Only 1 in 7 believe in impending Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012

Luminous white UFOs turn Mexican skeptics into believers (videos)

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Up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane it’s — Marcianos! Mexican investigators Jaime Maussan and Santiago Yturria Garza share exceptional videos of unexplained aerial phenomena that turned them from skeptics into believers.

Watch news footage as one Mexican mayor spots the “fleet” of luminous white OVNIs and says, “The Martians have arrived!”  TV host Maussan calls for more citizen and media participation in compiling OVNI reports in this 90-minute presentation from 2006.

“The Martians Have Arrived” — Los Marcianos Llegaron Ya — was also a pop music hit in Mexico in 2005 by children’s music star Tatiana. Which came first — the sightings or the song? We have the video below.

Mas…Luminous white UFOs turn Mexican skeptics into believers (videos)

Argentina WTF: Crop circle? UFO landing site? Cow abduction? (video)

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The diameter of the circle cut into the Tossi family’s sorghum field Wednesday night or Thursday morning is 25 meters — 82 feet across. The transformation of the consenusal reality of the small town of Las Perdices in Argentina’s Tercero Arriba district is yet to measured.

Who — or what — made the circle? Is it of earthly origin? Or did an OVNI leave evidence of a brief terrestrial tango? We have more of the story and an incredible video report of a cow abducted by a UFO in Argentina, below.

Mas…Argentina WTF: Crop circle? UFO landing site? Cow abduction? (video)

Share with your parents: UFO Mayan secrets, ancient aliens revealed

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This video comes directly from TrueReality.org so you know it’s right:

Irrefutable Evidence of ExtraTerrestrial Contact carved in Stone Thousands of Years ago on Pre-Mayans site. We shall finally change our History’s Books and let humanity knows our True Origins. The World is wakening up! Share the video with your parents and let everyone discuss it rationally and openly.

Part 2 below.

Mas…Share with your parents: UFO Mayan secrets, ancient aliens revealed

Video: Strange noises terrify TX and OK, Popocatepetl rumbling

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Reuters.com screen capture shows volcano

Every day brings us closer to Mayan Doomsday — Mother Earth will not rest.

Terrified reports of strange, unearthly noises have moved from the Upper Midwest and Canada to the Southwest, scaring the crap out of people in Amarillo, TX and rural Rogers County, OK.

South of the border, Mexican authorities just raised the alert level at the Popocatepetl volcano outside Mexico City.

The Amarillo incident is on video shot by two DJs from KISS FM who ran out of the studio to capture the ghostly howl (below).

Mas…Video: Strange noises terrify TX and OK, Popocatepetl rumbling

Paranormal investigators investigate Argentina cornfield OVNI tracks

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Experts from Argentina’s leading ufologist group Vision OVNI are investigating strange skid marks where some say an objeto volador no identificado landed in a farmer’s field in the northeastern province of Santa Fe.

Inexplicita explains the inexplicable this way:

A cornfield that appeared to display strange marks caused astonishment to many citizens of the town of Pujato… The event prompted a visit from member of Visión Ovni, the Victoria-based group devoted to the study of unidentified flying objects.

On 5 April, cornstalks standing 2 meters tall were found flattened in the same direction in the middle of a lot. The field is some 2 kilometers distant from Route 33 and the marks were found by Rubén Marelli, the owner, who presented a complaint on the following day…During a field survey, they found a trail measuring 2.10 meters wide and nearly 600 meters long, which presents side trails that open and mark a sort of figure eight, doubling back on themselves.

Scroll down for two big photos of the tracks. What do you think?

Mas…Paranormal investigators investigate Argentina cornfield OVNI tracks

Disinformation Company: Doomsday 2012 Science or Superstition?

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Yo what is up with all this Mayan Doomsday 2012 stuff? We need some disinformation and we need it now, and that’s why we turned to the Disinformation Company for this video. Like check it:

Disinformation Company producer Gary Baddeley, director Nimrod Erez and the Disinformation team contacted and arranged interviews with multiple experts, often obtaining speedy access due to more than ten years of working with them or colleagues in their fields!

Mas…Disinformation Company: Doomsday 2012 Science or Superstition?

Video: Tortilla-chip UFO buzzes York, England — again

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“The mysterious Dudley Dorito UFO has been spotted for the fourth time in five years flying through a cloudless sky over woodland in Yorkshire,” reports Britain’s The Sun:

The object, which looks like an extra-terrestrial tortilla chip, was captured by an amateur cameraman who posted the footage on YouTube. He can be heard saying “I don’t know what that is” as the triangular aircraft glides silently across the frame above a forest in the north of England.

The UFO was dubbed the Dudley Dorito after its first sighting over the Midlands in 2007 but it is unclear whether the YouTube footage is real or a hoax.

Flying chupacabra kills 35 sheep in Michoacan (three videos)

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Almost three dozen sheep lie dead in a corral in Michoacan and one witness blames a creature with fangs and wings. From Britain’s Daily Mail:

When farmers in Mexico found 35 of their sheep slaughtered with significant claw and tooth marks around their necks, they had one creature to blame – the legendary chupacabra. One man tending to the sheep overnight in the small Mexican town of Paracuaro said he saw animals with sharp fangs and wings kill the livestock. Dubbed the ‘Bigfoot of Latin culture,’ the chupacabra is a legendary four-legged creature that many think is responsible for attacking and killing livestock.

But how does a flying chupacabra compare with a flying purple people eater? And who wants to actually SEE a flying saucer? Two music videos below provide the answers

Mas…Flying chupacabra kills 35 sheep in Michoacan (three videos)

Mayan Doomsday (the video): ‘2012 The Mayan Word’

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Here’s a novel idea: Why not ask some Mayans about the impending apocalypse? Undercurrents Alternative News did just that in 2012 The Mayan Word. In Spanish and English with English subtitles, this hour-long documentary takes a look at the impending death and obliteration of the world as we know it and beginning of our glorious metamorphosis into luminous beings of light in the Singularity to come. Or maybe not. The official writeup is below.

Mas…Mayan Doomsday (the video): ‘2012 The Mayan Word’

SCHWA the Video: Dear ‘Stick People’ – Your Alien Overlords are here

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Before X Files claimed “the truth is out there,” before anyone heard of the Mayan Apocalypse, visionary Bill Barker raised the alarm, warning the few who would listen about the real illegal immigration threat – the imminent invasion of Gray Aliens from Outer Espace.

For a while, anyhow. Then he went over to Their Side.

Hollywood-born Barker, who recently approached POCHO to sugarcoat his poison meme, claimed:

I “parquito the espanale” a little. And I was raised in East L.A., near Maywood.

This human sellout — channeling thought emanations from Zeta Reticuli — created, built, staffed and managed the SCHWA Corporation, the holding company of the grays. His mission? Carry out the commands of the Alien Overlords and complete the domination of Earth and its clueless Stick People.

Barker proudly gave POCHO his SCHWA World Operations Manual so we could make this video, ribbed for your protection.

Mas…SCHWA the Video: Dear ‘Stick People’ – Your Alien Overlords are here

Mayan Doomsday experts can’t agree on how long is left

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(PNS reporting from the YUCATAN) The emergency Leap Year meeting of the Eschatological Chronology Society ended in disarray here Thursday as doomsday gurus couldn’t agree on whether the Mayan Apocalypse should be calculated in Colored People’s Time, Chicano Time or Jewish Standard Time.

Scientists at the conference were hoping to resolve the question before Leap Day on Feb. 29 and go home with a solid fix on how many days are left before the Lunar-Based Aliens from Mars that NASA is hiding do their Lunatic thing and immanentize the eschaton.

Now the tick-tock boffins will have to reconvene and deduce the time warp again.

Mas…Mayan Doomsday experts can’t agree on how long is left

Chevy wants you to get a Silverado for Mayan Doomsday 2012

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You’ll be in big trouble when Mayan Apocalapyse Doomsday 2012 comes if you’re driving a crappy truck from Ford! That’s the message from Chevrolet in a commercial set to air during Sunday’s Super Bowl telecast. On the other hand, you can live long and prosper with a stylish, strong and Doomsday-defying Silverado pickup, says the ad from this Uncle Sam GM bailout success story that Mitt Romney wouldn’t have supported.

Attention Chevy: Ping us for great ground-floor advertising opportunities! The folks at RentALatino got a great deal and you can too!

And check out our handy Doomsday Countdown clock over here —————>

UFOHunter: This is the sound of the Mothership (NSFW)

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Outer espace especial correspondent UFOHunter, the man behind ¡PutaNASA!, is back.

Building on his groundbreaking expose of the links between Mayan Doomsday 2012, gray aliens on the Moon and NASA UFO coverups, Orlando-based Hunter

  • reveals shocking details about unearthly sounds heard all around the world
  • admits he heard them too
  • plays back  the  recordings for all the Internets to hear

Then he asks the obvious question: IS THIS THE SOUND OF THE MOTHERSHIP?

Not safe for work.

Commie Mayan Queen of Hearts: The caption contest!*

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The back story is that when Soviet linguist Yuri Knorozov deciphered the classic Mayan glyphs in 1952, a mini Mayan craze swept Red artistic circles. Propaganda subtext? Your code is not safe, comrade. A deck of playing cards was the result. Meet the Queen of Hearts, a lovely Д is for “dama” (dame or Дама) indeed. And her little chihuahua.

Write the funniest caption, win the funniest prize!

Mas…Commie Mayan Queen of Hearts: The caption contest!*

Russki space junk crash brings Mayan Doomsday – are we screwed?

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(PNS reporting from MIAMI) The imminent crash – later this week – of a Russian space probe scares local spiritual gurus and national experts alike. All of them fear that the death dive of the Russki rocket is a Cosmic Warning of the Mayan Doomsday, scheduled for Dec. 21. Their big brains, however, are split on ways to prevent the Beginning of the End.

“Oh it’s easy,”  one local specialist told PNS. “Just burn the candles.” Futurologist Pat Robertson’s advice is just one word: “Run!”

Russians espace commissars have predicted that fragments from the failed Phobos-Ground probe are expected to fall to Earth around Jan. 15.

What can an ordinary person do?

“Candles, definitely lots of candles,” said S.W. 46th St. curandero Alejandro “La Luz de Jesus” Sosa.

Mas…Russki space junk crash brings Mayan Doomsday – are we screwed?

Sabado Pochonte Video: The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy (en Inglés)

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robotaztecmummyThe Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy (La Momia Azteca Contro El Robot Humano): The walking Aztec mummy Popoca has returned, and this time he is pitted against a mad scientist and his creation, the Human Robot, a cyborg with a mechanical body, steel claws and a human head! Enjoy one hour of cheesy Mexican horror cinema from 1958 – poorly dubbed in unlikely English!

Mas…Sabado Pochonte Video: The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy (en Inglés)

Bolivia puts Mother Earth over God, dooms country to Hell

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Cocaine-growing heathen socialist Evo Morales is president of a country bound for Hell

(PNS reporting from BOLIVIA) Undoubtedly weakened by defending herself from deranged Islamo-fascists seeking to nestle in her naïve, hot-blooded bosom, Latin America has fallen victim to an even more dangerous attacker: The Green Dragon of Environmentalism.

Bolivia is slated pass unprecedented legislation that would grant the planet the same rights as human beings. The environment will be given special protections from industry and related development under the recently-proposed Law of Mother Earth. Socialist cocaine-growing President Evo Morales, the first openly-heathen president in Latin America, believes this legislation will help protect unwed whore Mother Earth from the fairy tale of climate change.

Mas…Bolivia puts Mother Earth over God, dooms country to Hell

Hoy in History 1/1 and welcome to 2012, the Mayan last year

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The Zapatista Rebellion was born this day in 1994 – Que Viva EZLN!

The Zapatistas… issued a declaration which amounted to a declaration of war on the Mexican government, which they considered so out of touch with the will of the people as to make it completely illegitimate.

Welcome to 2012, the last year, according to the Mayan Calendar, which predicts the end of the world on Dec. 21. No worries – we have what you need:

  • A countdown clock on the right so you can sync your watch for the big day
  • This New Age technomuzak didactic rap video by Gurudevi which links the Mayan wisdom to a properly calibrated understanding of the 13-month-cycles of noospheric spacetime (WARNING DON’T WATCH THIS VIDEO IF YOU ARE DRIVING):

Mas…Hoy in History 1/1 and welcome to 2012, the Mayan last year

Year in Review: JLo needs to fix it again, Tony

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You can’t go home again; ask la Señorita Lopez.

JLo’s waxing poetic about her roots and her neighborhood made for a very nice commercial but a not-so-nice commentary about her beloved Bronx.

Jenny-from-the-block’s part in her new commercial was not shot “round the way” but rather on the rough and tumble streets of West Los Angeles (yeah, I know they both look soooo much alike.)

Mas…Year in Review: JLo needs to fix it again, Tony

Lalo’s Pocho Ocho New Year’s resolutions

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8. Wear more slimming clothes

7. Get a new job to supplement income from five other jobs

6. Take a vacation at one of those nice FEMA camps

5. Quit drinking alcohol that doesn’t get me fucked up really fast

4. Reduce financial stress by picking up a hobby, like bank robbing, or writing a hit song

3. Start eating my 10-year supply of freeze-dried survival food

2. “Party Like It’s 2012”

And my top New Year’s Resolution for 2012:

72 dpi

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What are your New Year’s resolutions? Post them here!

Mayan Doomsday 2012? Instant karma gonna get you

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We as a species deserve whatever Mayan Doom 2012™ brings our way.

Tweet-comic Jon Hendren proved it on Xmas and Boxing Day when he retweeted people’s bitching about not getting the gifts they wanted. Boohoo, they moaned – no one loves me enough to give me the muy caro gadget I need sooo sooo badly.

I, on the other hand, was sad because I had no iPad … until I met a man who had no nalgas. Lookit these screenshots of Tweets:

Mas…Mayan Doomsday 2012? Instant karma gonna get you

NAMMLA: Mayor’s animal love Christmas card ‘a good start’

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San Juan Alcalde hopes your dreams come true. Image courtesy AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

 

(PNS reporting from POCHO RICO)  San Juan Mayor Jorge Santini’s  Christmas card — which features a graphic interspecies love tryst — is “a good start,” the North American Man-Mammal Love Association (NAMMLA) enthused Wednesday.

“We’ve been after the mayor all year to get him to stand up for our right to love our furry neighbors as ourselves,” local NAMMLA leader Juan Don Gamera told a press conference in capital city San Juan.

“This card doesn’t go all the way,” the Boricuan said, “but when he’s not ashamed to show the lion lying down with the lamb, so to speak, it’s a good start.”

Mas…NAMMLA: Mayor’s animal love Christmas card ‘a good start’

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