Ask A Mexican: Should Mexicans move to the South? (video)

It’s complicated, but Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano considers the future of Mexican-Americans in the South and suggests it’s the new, unconquered Aztlan ripe for the Reconquista Part II. After all, paisas and good ole’ boys are the same with the horses and the whiskey and the marrying their second cousins, right? (Gustavo’s art courtesy Memo Nerricio’s Tex[t]-Mex Gallery and Steve Alvarez’ Mexington.

Taco Thursday: World’s Longest Taco Triumph? (video)


Taqueros in Guadalajara put together a two-mile long line of tacos (de puerco) in an attempt to set a Guinness World Record, according to UPI:

…The group in Guadalajara put together the uninterrupted line of tacos using 2,645 pounds of pork.

The 9,047.24-foot-long line of tacos was constructed from ingredients from the state of Yucatan and the tasty tortilla treats were distributed to hungry onlookers after organizers collected the data they needed to submit to Guinness.

The attempt took about 6 hours.

Organizers said they are waiting to hear back from the record keeping organization.

A group in Mexico previously broke the world record for the largest flour taco in 2003 when they assembled a 35.9-foot-long taco that weighed in at 1,654 pounds.

The Idiot’s Guide to Smart People: ‘Sex & Relationships’ (video)


Relationships are hard, even for smart people, and especially around Valentine’s Day, am I right? Can idiots like us get lucky in love? What if we’re dealing with smart people? Can an internet video offer the answer we’ve been looking for? Can we put another question into this paragraph? [If the words boner and/or vagina are NSFW, don’t play this video too loudly or freshen up your resume.]

PREVIOUSLY ON THE IDIOT’S GUIDE:

Mas…The Idiot’s Guide to Smart People: ‘Sex & Relationships’ (video)

For some reason, Friday Night is Taco Night in Norway (video)


In Norway, Friday night is Taco Night.

Molly Jones of the Norwegian American Weekly explains:

When it comes to Friday’s dinner plans, Norwegians seem to have one thing on their minds: tacos! The younger generations in Norway have coined the term “fredagstaco” to describe the cultural phenomenon of starting the weekend off with a serving—or two—of tacos.

Mas…For some reason, Friday Night is Taco Night in Norway (video)

The first fitness facility just for Millennials: @#TheGym (video)


Millennials — this means you! Whether you need a fitness regime for your swiping fingers, interval training for Instagram, improved low-impact Twitter technique or advanced aerobic Facebook, you need to be @ #TheGym. Ask about February special prices for Mega-Gigabyte Torrent Training™, Skiing with Skype™, and Building Better Abs with Bitcoin™.

WTF is it? A horse-shaped UFO/OVNI hovers over Colima volcano (video)


Either a giant horse or a UFO/OVNI shaped like a giant horse appeared suddenly over Mexico’s Colima volcano last week.

“WTF is going on?” asked Britain’s Daily Mail:

  • Collecting samples for your home planet?
  • Dark UFO resembling a flying horse is caught on film hovering by erupting Mexican volcano
  • Object was spotted close to volcano Colima located in western Mexico
  • Appeared to have two legs and came into view out of nowhere
  • Witness said it looked like a ‘horse’ with a ‘very large body’
  • Authorities said it is most likely a drone – they are currently investigating

PREVIOUSLY ON COLIMA VOLCANO:

Mas…WTF is it? A horse-shaped UFO/OVNI hovers over Colima volcano (video)

Today is the day the music (and Ritchie Valens) died

newspaperToday marks the sad anniversary of “the day the music died,” the February 3, 1959 airplane crash that took the lives of rock stars Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens.

Valens, from the L.A. suburb of Pacoima, was born Richard Steven Valenzuela and some consider him the father of Chicano rock. Pocho Valens didn’t espeak Espanish, so he sang the lyrics to La Bamba from a phonetic cheat sheet.

Click for music videos of Chantilly Lace from the Bopper, Peggy Sue by Holly and the actual Valens La Bamba recording sessions, plus a Don McLean performance of The Day the Music Died.

Mas…Today is the day the music (and Ritchie Valens) died

A Day in the Life: Santa Apolonia taco truck, New Haven, CT (video)


La Vida Del Taco starts as the Santa Apolonia truck pulls up to its usual spot in New Haven, Connecticut and the work day begins.

You can get tacos de lengua and cabeza here, not just pollo and carnitas. Watch as the truck is turned from a vehicle into an assembly line as the cooks chop cilantro and piñas (!) and pickle chiles and cebollas. And what else? What is the deal with the pineapple? Where did the radishes come from?

Here comes a customer! Wow two nice thick tortillas per taco and whoa that is a lot of pollo! Next dude is hard core and goes for the lengua. Oh man, it looks like every order comes with fries.

God Bless America.

Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra (videos)


Johnny Depp couldn’t just cop to being a day late to the Japanese press conference. No, this wannabe Tonto had to blame his tardy-ass rudeness on an attack by a cruel and vicious Mexican — El Chupacabra (video, above). And the interpreter and the reporters are all like jajaja WTF but in Japanese. Johnny Depp Bill Murray in Japan, apparently.

But El Deppo wasn’t the first to blame his own bads on this famous Mexican monster. Here are the Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra:

8. The chupacabra ate my homework … AND MY DOG!

7. Sorry for the mess. A chupacabra went through my dirty clothes hamper and left all my chonies in piles on the floor.

6. But Your Honor! I was just estanding on the corner minding my own business when El Chupacabra ran by and handed me that iPhone 6!

Mas…Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra (videos)

Elise @Buttronica Roedenbeck: Do computers zap our creativity? (video)

elisecomputerMiJA Elise Roedenbeck, formerly a professional geek*, wonders if computers make our brains less creative. Since half of Elise’ cabeza is exposed to Mutant Moon Rays from Outer Espace synergistically multiplied by the Reality Distortion Field generated by her MacBook Pro, it was urgent she get an answer as quickly as possible. In this case, it took her only 3:03.

PRO TIP: Elise’s high tech screen name on the Twitter is @buttronica, so you know she’s right, especially when POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal shows up on her list as #1 most creative comedian. 🙂

Here’s Buttronica’s video:

Mas…Elise @Buttronica Roedenbeck: Do computers zap our creativity? (video)

Germany’s ‘Mexican’ thrill ride has its ups and downs (video)


Auf Deutschland, thrill-seekers experience authentic pre-Columbian Mexico with every Talocan thrill ride at Phantasialand, the gigantor theme park in Brühl, North Rhine-Westphalia. [Beer and wurst slightly wurstier east of the Seine. Fire and water included. Earth and wind available at extra charge. Ask your cartel liason about extra-judicial disappearances and Aztec sacrifices.]

Watch the ‘Smooth Criminal’ salsa version you crowdfunded


Peruvian-born percussionist and wannabe record producer Tony Succar heard a dream that included a salsa-style big band fronted by Boricua singer Jean Valdez performing Michael Jackson’s Smooth Criminal, a dream you could help him realize if you would only please please CLICK HERE TO DONATE $10,000 on his crowdfunding website. And you did, so here you go! People who like this kind of thing will probably like this kind of thing.