Chipotle to sell cannabis in California, Colorado, Oregon

chipotlesoon(PNS reporting from DENVER) Chipotle Mexican Grill is planning to introduce cannabis-based comida in California, Colorado and Oregon later this year, PNS has learned. The decision follows recreational marijuana’s legalization in the Golden State, which now joins its two neighbors on America’s High Frontier.

The new vegan/vegetarian product — dubbed Mota Al Pastor — will replace the reviled Sofrita tofu-based mock meat mezcla that has insulted palates since the chain’s opening. Mota al Pastor will be served in burritos, in tacos, and as a topping for nachos.

“Mota al Pastor makes its own gravy, so to speak,” a Chipotle executive told PNS over the weekend. “The more you eat, the more you want. It’s ka-ching ka-ching ka-chingadera all the way down.”

“It’s time to put the ‘pot’ back in Chipotle,” he said.

[This illustration is based on a meme we found online by Arthur Unknown. Thank you, Art!]

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.