[A Tia Lencha and Aunt Lily Production]
Orale raza! How ju bean?
HAPPY VALENTIME’S DAY! TIA LENCHA IS BACK TO TALK ABOUT LUFF TO YOU POCHOS.
Have you heard songs by Ramón Ayala? He’s bigger than Chicano Batman and he knows all about luff. He talks to all of us who no have luck in luff. His songs teash us all about the lessons you learn when jur Corazon (thas heart for ju pochos) is not like the fairy tales on Valentimes Day.
Dis article is written by me, Tia Lencha, and my proper-English-speaking alter ego, Aunt Lily.
This is mostly because Mijo, my son, insists that no one will take a woman who writes in dialect seriously. Can ju beleef it? I sat down with Aunt Lily while I drank tequila and she drank kombucha and we listen to Ramón Ayala. Dis is what we discover in our cantina night.
First, English and Spanish are like two different flavors of life or like different people. Do you love in Spanish or English? This is an important question. Ramón loves in Spanish-he would rip his heart out and die just to be your lover. Also, how do you say “La Llorona”? When you say it does it rhyme with corona (like the beer or virus)? Or do you say it in Spanglish where la Llorona rhymes with La Corona, the crown, in a game of listeria?
Say hi, Aunt Lily.
AL: Hello everyone. Happy Valentine’s Day. We’re here to celebrate those who suck our relationships, like us.
TL: Why ju say it like that? It’s Valentimes Day. Jur saying it wrong.
AL: You’re saying it wrong
TL: Jur gravely mistaken.
AL: Oh?
TL: Jes. Valentimes is for all of the passionate pochos, who have a fire in their belly from eating too much Chile
AL: The only fire you have in your belly is from eating. Too much dairy.
TL: Rood!
AL: Most of us did not have anything real in terms of real love but we are out here, like the blind leading the blind.
TL: More like the blind, making out with the blind.
AL: Shut up!
TL: Rood!
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