GAVIOTA/SEAGULL
AL: Whoa! What does he mean cut her wings?
TL: What do you think he means? That he’s going to take her phone away?
AL: I don’t know.
TL: He means cut jur wings, like when ju are bery mad and by wings you mean penice.
AL: That’s not funny.
TL: Why?
AL: Not everything is a Lorena Bobbit joke.
TL: Ay, let me live
AL: Are we trauma dumping?
TL: What do ju mean?
AL: Do we have anything positive to say?
TL: Jes. Positive. I haf it. If only a men’s penice grew every time, they told a lie, it would be good.
AL: Like Pinocchio?
TL: Exactly.
AL: And some say that romance is dead. What if that something shruck instead hen they tell a lie?
TL: Gwat? The mens better hide their huevos rancheros! Beef burritos! Spicy chorizos!
AL: You know, Lencha, I used to think Valentine’s Day was about celebrating the love you have with your beloved.
TL: Like in the Hallmarke cards?
AL: But now I know the truth.
TL: Da truth?
AL: It’s a trophy day to celebrate the fact that you haven’t given up on love.
TL: Comadre, thas so true.
AL: (raising her glass of kombucha) To love!
TL: (raising her shot glass of tequila) To amor! Happy Valentimes Day, comadre! And to all you pochos!