Hola Gueyes! This is my Live Tweet/State of the Union response chingadera. Will someone please get me a water, that bottle I’m looking at is right out of reach. CHINGAO!
MEXIPHONE CHECK, JUAN TU, JUAN TU
HIJOLE EL TWITTER IS ESLOW, IT’S MORE CLOGGED THAN THE TOILET AT EL TORITO
HEY OBAMA, STOP TOUCHING THE CROWD, YOU ARE NOT LL COOL J
THE ESTATE OF THE UNION ESTA CHINGADA
IT IS OUR YENERATION’S TASK TO IGNITE DORNER’S CABIN
FREE ENTERPRISE ISN’T FOR FREELOADERS
COMPROMISE IS FOR POOSIES
HOW CAN HE CUT THE MILITARY BUDGET WHEN LOS KOREANOS HAVE A BOMB AND DORNER IS ON THE LOOSE??
WE NEED MORE MOJADOS TO WIPE OLD GRINGOS NALGAS AT RETIREMENT HOMES
THEYRE PASSING THE DONATION BASKETS OUT RIGHT NOW, LUCKY IM AT HOME
KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY ISLAND PESOS
I WOULD HAVE CREATED ALL KINDS OF MIDDLE CLASS YOBS, YOU ALL WOULD HAVE HAD TO TAKE FIVE OF THEM EACH
Obamas believes America is a JOB MAGNET. Wrong! AMERICA IS A CHICK MAGNET
MACINTOSH WILL ESTART MAKING COMPUTERS HERE, THATS GOOD NEWS FOR MY WORKER ANTI-SUICIDE NET COMPANY
WE MUST COMBAT CLIMATE CHANGE SCIENTISTS #SOTU #OILCOMPANYSTOCK
ESUPERESTORM ESANDY WAS DONE WITH HOLLYWOOD ESPECIAL EFFECTS
NATURAL GAS BOOM. INSERT FRIJOLES JOKE HERE
I COULD CUT IN HALF THE ENERGY WASTE AT MY RANCHOS IF I JUST TOOK AWAY ALL THE BLOWDRYERS FROM MY VIEJAS
OH MIRA, NOW HE’S BLACK ROOSEVELT
CAR ELEVATOR PURCHASES ARE UP 1%
WE MUST HIRE CHILD WORKERS NOW
WE CANNOT EDUCATE OUR CHILDRENS, THEN WHO WOULD VOTE REPUBLICAN?
OUR CHILDRENS CAN GET A G.E.D. AND ASPIRE TO BE THE GOVERNOR OF ARIZONA
AMERICAN CHILDRENS SHOULD LEARN IN YAIL, NOT YALE
“CURRICULA?” IT’S “CURRICULUMS” ESTUPID!
NO NO NO, WE NEED TO HAVE MORE ESTUDENT LOANS, I JUST FOUNDED DEBTORS PRISONS INC.
NOW IS THE TIME FOR COMPREHENSIVE MOJADO REFORM
OBAMAS JUST WANTS MORE DEPORT-O-DRONES FLYING AROUND HOME DEPOT PARKING LOTS
THE ESTATE OF OUR ECONOMY IS STRONG. LANCE ARM STRONG
HEY, COMMANDER IN CHIEF, NOW THAT THEY ALLOW VIEJAS IN COMBAT, I HAVE A WHOLE TROOP OF THEM TO SEND TO THE FRONTLINE OF YOUR CHOICE
I AM ALL FOR ENCOURAGING ESTRONGER FAMILIES, BIGGER, STOCKIER VIEJAS, FOR THE RANCHO
OUR PROBLEMS WITH BACKWARDS MORONS DONT END WITH AL-QAEDA. THERE’S STILL AL-ABAMA
THE ORGANIZATION THAT ATTACKED US ON 9-11 IS A SHADOW OF ITS FORMER SELF. YES, THE BUSH FAMILY IS NOT LOOKING TOO GOOD THESE DAYS
OHHH BIG MAN, OBAMAS WILL STOP THE HACKERS WITH A CYBERDRONE
DID HE JUST PROMISE A MILITARY PENSION TO ALL MILITARY MEMBERS OF THE VILLAGE PEOPLES?
THANKS TO ALL THE GENERALS THAT DIDN’T BONE OTHER VIEJAS
MY PINCHE LAWYER IS HELPING OBAMAS WITH VOTING RIGHTS/ CABRON SHYSTER!
I WOULD TOTALLY HIRE THAT VETERAN TO GUARD MY CAR ELEVATOR
THAT VIEJITA STOOD THERE IN LINE TO VOTE FOR 5 HOURS BECAUSE SHE IS 102 YEARS OLD, SHE HAS MUMMIFIED
WHOA, THAT WAS A FLATTER ENDING THAN MY NALGAS IN MOM’S JEANS
THANK YOU, MIS GUEYES FOR LISTENING. NOW IT’S BACK TO MY REGULARLY ESCHEDULED TUESDAY NIGHT VIEJA MAINTENANCE.
Where’s that PINCHE AGUA??!