8. Went to see Parliament and George Clinton wasn’t in session.
7. Buckingham Palace #FAIL: No ham, no bucking.
6. Your Tio Nono has more teeth than half the town combined.
Mas…Pocho Ocho things that are wrong with Londres, Inglaterra
Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah Zip-a-Dee-Guns; Hola Anaheim, We’re Havin’ Fun
Now in the shadows of the world’s most famous amusement park residents of Anaheim are bravely (and in some cases stupidly) confronting the Anaheim Police Department, an at times callous, authoritative government power that isn’t accustomed to being questioned even when it executes people. Crisis always spurs creativity and the most original ideas are presently forming outside of the gates of Disneyland.
- More @ OCWeekly.com
Art by Lalo Alcaraz, photo by Johnny Nguyen.
Ñewsweek: Mea maxima culpa, Anaheim and RIP Lupe Ontiveros
The death of beloved actress Lupe Ontiveros, the Pocho Ocho top Chicano sins and death and protest in Klanaheim topped the ñews this week on POCHO, and we’ve got links:
Eye of the beholder: A day in the life of an Eames chair (video)
DIEZ tells the story of a molded plywood Eames chair and its journey over the course of a few days in San Francisco, a journey that starts when the chair is momentarily left in front of an upscale gallery, and an older Mexican woman takes the chair, mistaking the modern design icon for trash. This random event sets in motion the chair’s journey and surprising transformation.
DIEZ deconstructs; literally and figuratively – an Eames chair. The story illustrates in a whimsical fashion how the value of material objects can have different, but no less important, meaning to different people. DIEZ shows the many different realities that exist in the same neighborhood and the contrasting values that accompany them. Ultimately DIEZ asks the question; when divided into its DIEZ (ten) basic components, what value does an Eames chair really have?
POCHO Olympics Especial Video: Basketball brains vs brawn in “3X3”
POCHO Olympics Especial Presentation of Nuno Rocha’s 3X3: Making that basketball long shot requires a special kind of sportsman. Or does it? (Comedy short; Portugal.)
Lupe Ontiveros (1942-2012) RIP
Funny and talented Mexican-American actress Lupe Ontiveros passed away last night in Whittier, CA. Lupe was an accomplished actress and community activist and will be missed.
Born in El Paso, TX on Sept. 17, 1942, she appeared in numerous films and television shows, including Selena, Real Women Have Curves, Southland, Desperate Housewives, Rob, Family Guy and many more.
Always ready to crack an off-color joke, Lupe was genial and hilarious and also brutally honest about her time in Hollywood.
Espace age bachelor Esquivel’s ‘Mucha Muchacha’ (music video)
Tap your tootsies, snap your fingers and enjoy a cerveza with one of espace age bachelor pad musical maestro Juan Garcia Esquivel’s greatest hits: Mucha Muchacha. And whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you?
Juan García Esquivel (January 20, 1918 – January 3, 2002) often simply known as Esquivel!, was a Mexican band leader, pianist, and composer for television and films. He is recognized today as one of the foremost exponents of a sophisticated style of largely instrumental music that combines elements of lounge music and jazz with Latin flavors. Esquivel is sometimes called “The King of Space Age Pop” and “The Busby Berkeley of Cocktail Music.” Esquivel is considered one of the foremost exponents of a style of late 1950s-early 1960s quirky instrumental pop that became known (in retrospect) as “Space Age Bachelor Pad Music”.
Mexican Mitt Romney: My Pocho Ocho top Tweets from England
Ann is having having trouble taking dictation (her Blackberries are on the wrong side of the estreet or something) so here are my personal Pocho Ocho Top Tweets from England for ustedes:
8. Mexican Mitt Romney: DAMN THERE’S A LOT OF MUSLIMS HERE
7. Mexican Mitt Romney: WE’RE GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS IN DRESSAGE, BEECHES
6. Mexican Mitt Romney: WHERE’S THE NEAREST CHICK-A-FILA?
Mas…Mexican Mitt Romney: My Pocho Ocho top Tweets from England
American Romance: ‘The One Semester of Spanish Love Song’ (video)
She’s brown and beautiful; he’s white and smitten. And the only way he can express his feelings is to sing the One Semester of Spanish Love Song.
Anaheim: The Tragic Kingdom (toon)
I drew this cartoon to accompany an article by Gustavo Arellano, Jefe-in-Chief of OC Weekly, about recent events in Anaheim
Quit it, you drama queens and stop your +$@#% bullshit (NSFW video)
YouTube user Karma Fairuth is really getting sick and tired of your complaining about how you are always a victim and “Oh, poor you!” and suggests you move past the negative energy and begin building a better future for yourself. (NSFW language.) There’s more Karma on Facebook.
Kinky: In ‘Despues Del After’ a robot does the Chinese dougie (video)
Monterrey technorock superstars Kinky and an illuminated robot amigo shot this new video in Shanghai, Beijing and Hong Kong. (Despues Del After = After the After.)
And we love this older (possibly NSFW: side boobs) English-language Kinky production with an eight-bit video game look, the band’s tribute to Those Girls:
Mas…Kinky: In ‘Despues Del After’ a robot does the Chinese dougie (video)
Mea maxima culpa: The Pocho Ocho top Chicano sins
It’s rough being a Chicano, one little misstep and you can crap all over the sanctity of your Chicanismo. Here’s a list of the top eight Chicano sins you want to avoid, just in case you have trouble keeping track.
8. Changing your name to an Aztec name: If you’re Rosa, don’t pretend like you’re really Xochitl just because you joined MEChA. And that goes for you, too, Nezahualcoyotl, I mean Erick.
7. Confusing Emiliano Zapata with Pancho Villa: Yes, they both had mustaches, but not all Mexicans look the same. One of them was a revolutionary or something, right?
6. Talking shit about RATM: Every Chicano loves Rage Against The Machine, without question, everyone knows this. How dare you?!
CholoWizard Graffiti: How to draw a cholo (video)
Artist WIZARD demonstrates how to draw a cholo. We especially like the attention to detail shown in the facial tear-drop tattoo and the Nike “swoosh.”
Scientists desecrate Mayan tomb of Chak, King of El Zotz (video)
The desecration of Mayan heritage sites by so-called scientists continues in Guatemala, and the invaders just released a video to trumpet their “rediscovery” of the ancient Mayan Temple of the Night Sun near the town of El Zotz.
The interlopers will rediscover their fight or flight reactions on December 21 when they come face-to-face with the reincarnated spirit of Chak, who was once the King of El Zotz. The crew is currently looting Chak’s tomb.
Some 1,600 years ago, the Temple of the Night Sun was a blood-red beacon visible for miles and adorned with giant masks of the Maya sun god as a shark, blood drinker, and jaguar.
Mas…Scientists desecrate Mayan tomb of Chak, King of El Zotz (video)
Dear Dr. Danilo Dinero: What should I do with this large cash settlement?
Dear Dr. Danilo Dinero:
I recently received a large cash settlement (six figures) after my Geo Metro was totalled at Melrose and La Cienega by Kim Kardashian’s shoe concierge.
After I pay off the remaining bills, I’ll have $100K in cash. What should I do with the money?
A Man Named Jed
Dear Jed:
Thank you for your over-written, obviously fake letter. Are you perchance referring to the Geo Metro with the new rims? Or am I just throwing in gratuitous links for SEO porpoises? (Whales, dolphins, sea lions, seals, baby seals.)
The real question is where do you, Mr. Nouveau Riche Jed, or whatever your name is, feel most comfortable on Dr. Dinero’s Pyramid of Risk and Reward.™
Can you handle the risk of losing everything or do you want safety even though it nets you less? In these tricky economic times, safety is the obvious choice. The riskier investments — higher on the pyramid — can pay off the most but they come with maximum probability of loss.
Mas…Dear Dr. Danilo Dinero: What should I do with this large cash settlement?
El Rey Del Art, painter of Arizona light, gone but not forgotten
‘Crimson Justice Swings by his Storage Unit for a Few Things’ by El Rey Del Art
He was the king of art, El Rey Del Art, and he painted flat bright canvases with the glare of Arizona. Landscapes. Animals. Superheroes and luchadores. Monkeys. Robots. Squids. Monkey robots. Monkey superheroes. The usual.
But then El Rey stopped painting the “real world,” dropped his art name and turned his attention to the virtual worlds of video games, which he paints in the style of the Fauvists, “characterized by seemingly wild brush work and strident colors.”
Check out his rendition of a favela in Brasil from Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2:
Mas…El Rey Del Art, painter of Arizona light, gone but not forgotten
Xican@ Space Odyssey: Lance Liberty reports for 101.3 Honest Radio
It is sometime in the near future.
Laws have been set in motion to protect the American Homeland. Your freedom and sanity are at stake. Oh, and your jobs.
I forgot about your jobs. And your beautifully domesticated wives and children. You pay your taxes, yet you feel one-upped. Lied to. I know. I have a mortgage and a timeshare I haven’t paid in months. Meanwhile our lazy neighbors to the south consume our resources. But there’s no need to fear. No longer do we have to sit in Victoria’s Secret as our wives are gawked at by gang-banging border hoppers. No. Victoria is just beyond the horizon. And one man risks it all in his comfy radio studio located somewhere in the Arizona desert.
That man is Lance Liberty for 101.3 Honest Radio. Take it away, Lance…
Mas…Xican@ Space Odyssey: Lance Liberty reports for 101.3 Honest Radio
Ñewsweek: Lopez vs Arpaio, ‘Dark Knight’ toon and Comic-Con pics
It was the best of ñewsweeks, it was the worst of ñewsweeks. It was a week of wisdom, it was a week of foolishness.
- The Best: On HBO, George Lopez told Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio WTF he really thinks of him and the offended officer challenged the comic to a face-to-face discussion of the issues.
- The Worst: The Aurora shooting raised a bat signal for gun control.
We’ve got the uncensored Lopez/Arpaio videos, the Lalo Alcaraz ‘Dark Knight’ cartoon that went viral and Comic-Con photos you won’t see anywhere else.
But wait, there’s more!
Mas…Ñewsweek: Lopez vs Arpaio, ‘Dark Knight’ toon and Comic-Con pics
A time-traveling flapper’s dilemma: ‘Clara’s Los Angeles’ (video)
Clara’s Los Angeles (14:59): The last thing Clara Villanueva remembers was dancing the Charleston at Hollywood’s Ambassador Hotel in 1926. When she wakes up on a park bench in modern downtown Los Angeles, she has a lot of catching up to do.
Marissa Chibas wrote, produced, directed and starred in this video, shot downtown and in Silverlake, Los Feliz and Hollywood. (Silent movie, with instrumental soundtrack and English/Spanish title cards.)
Dark Knight Colorado shooting cartoon by Lalo Alcaraz
Everyone is horrified about another mass shooting, this one in a movie theater in Aurora, CO at a midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises. Gun violence in the U.S. is the highest in the world, and we need to do something about it. Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the dozen murdered victims and the over 50 wounded. This editorial cartoon can also be seen at my syndicate website, GoComics.com/laloalcaraz
Mexclusive: Romney’s VP short list is now down to three names
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) Mitt Romney’s list of potential vice presidential running mates is now down to three finalists, campaign insiders report:
- Wei Chen, Chengdu, Sichuan, China
- Sadashiv Gupta, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
- Ester Ramirez, San Antonio, San Miguel, El Salvador
All three offer various strengths to Romney.
Highly energetic Wei Chen is currently employed at the Foxconn plant in Chengdu, and makes iPads, although he has never seen the complete product.
“I wake up, go to work for 14 hours, then I go back home and go to bed, wake up and do it again,” says Chen, 25. “Being Mitt Romney’s running mate would be a welcome change to my schedule, and perhaps stifle my thoughts of suicide.”
Mas…Mexclusive: Romney’s VP short list is now down to three names
Goth industrial post-punk dark wave Veronica: ‘Naked’ (music video)
“I dance all night, I’m trouble every day!”
Veronica “marks its corner of the sandbox with disdain and rancor. Frontman Omar’s voice traces base desires along electronic body music lines with Marilyn Manson-meets-Orgy groans. Naked is a stripped, raw and tightly magnificent pause in the happy-pop-fed masses’ pathetic existence,” José Benavides writes over at Remezcla, and who are we to disagree? One minute and 38 seconds of WIN from these Brooklyn pochos.
Hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your chicken wings: Rape jokes!
I’ve been operating under the assumption that the average man has no love in his heart.
It’s a strange subconscious feeling that slowly crept into my daily life. I think, however, media played a bigger role in its development than my real interactions with others.
I know it’s not true, and up until recently, I wasn’t even aware that I felt that way.
I was thinking about the whole Daniel Tosh rape thing and I just thought to myself: Well, what do you expect? Men are not capable of love.
It was more than just a fleeting thought. It was a foundational belief that has been shaping how I look at the world.
I have to admit, when you see the position of women in our world, it’s hard to believe men can love. When men call us sluts and whores and cunts, it’s hard to believe they feel any ounce of love. When you see the rape statistics, when you meet victims of rape, when you yourself have been assaulted, it’s really hard to think men can love.
However, bringing it back to Tosh, that doesn’t mean rape can’t be funny.
Rape victims are not fragile damaged hysterical women who burst into crying fits every time someone says the word rape. Actually, I’ve known both male and female rape victims who can find a rape joke funny because they don’t define who they are as a “rape victims.” They are just people who got raped.
Indulge me as I further illustrate my point.
Mas…Hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your chicken wings: Rape jokes!
Dear Abuelita: Wife and lover, my ring-a-ding, trouble at the zoo
Dear Abuelita:
Is it possible to love two women at the same time? You see, I love my wive and I would do anything for her, but I also love my secret lover who inspires me in different ways that my wife does not. I make more love to my secret lover than to my wife. I think both of my loves complement my needs and I need both of them to be at peace.
Signed, Confused But Happy
Dear Con Fundio,
Don’t act like a tonto by saying you’d do anything for your wife. If you really meant it you would dump the hoochie coochie you have on the side and be a devoted husband. You’re so full of mierda, you need a lavativa not a lover.
Of course both your “loves” complement your needs. You’re a sin verguenza. Have you ever thought of the needs of your two women? How much are you offering them? I wouldn’t blame them if they had some one else on the side as well. Would serve you right.
Your pregunta is the biggest load of cacagada I’ve seen since my sancho plugged the toilet with one of his massive camotes.
Me da asco, cabron, Tu Abuelita
Mas…Dear Abuelita: Wife and lover, my ring-a-ding, trouble at the zoo
Al Madrigal smuggles negative political ads into Mexico (video)
POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal puts on his Daily Show Senior Latino Correspondent hat and rubber gloves to spice up the Mexican presidential elections with smuggled negative political advertisements.
Shocking Rush Limbaugh claim! President Obama is ‘The Darkie Knight’
(PNS reporting from DITTOSTAN) Just a day after revealing that The Dark Knight Rises villain ‘Bane’ is actually Mitt Romney, Rush Limbaugh has uncovered even more insidious left-wing propaganda in the eagerly-anticipated film:
The movie, Limbaugh told his radio audience, is part of the Kenyan Socialist media conspiracy and President Obama is “The Darkie Knight.”
“Friends, I am sitting here today in the EIB studio and I have to tell you, I am really, really, realllllly high. Have you guys seen this movie, what’s it called? Yeah, The Dark Knight? Wow…just wow…folks, it’s a real liberal whammy, OK? Uncle Rushbo is giving it to you straight here – I’ve seen the darkie knight and his name is Obama. Hang on a second, folks, I have to play with myself again,” Limbaugh said during yesterday’s program.
Mas…Shocking Rush Limbaugh claim! President Obama is ‘The Darkie Knight’
‘Luchano el Luchador’ was down on his luck, until… (video)
Luchano el Luchador was a wrestling great, a headliner – once upon a time. Now he’s washed up, works a depressing day job and has no hope for the future, until he picks up a card from a business that promises to change his life.
Make sure you keep watching through the elaborate credits (Puta #1, Puta #2, Puta #3, etc.) for the “shaggy dog story” ending!