(PNS reporting from BOYLE HEIGHTS) Starbucks Coffee starts test-marketing their new nopal, chile and mole-flavored coffee drinks exclusively in this East Los Angeles enclave today.
Staying true to their gentrified roots, Starbucks based the new varieties on past-the-expiration-date flavors from more upscale stores — adding chemical food coloring for “eye appeal.”
Mas…Starbucks test-markets nopal, chile-flavored drinks in East Los Angeles
We might not know anything about them, but Anonymous knows almost everything about us, including stuff THE MAN doesn’t want YOU to know.
The modishly-masked online crusaders will soon shock our chakras with the truth about apocalyptic confluences predicted by the Mayan Calendar and aether-entities from outer espace. Predictably, the Mainstream Media New World Order 1% Wall Street Ivy League Illuminati White Elite is fighting back.
The recent Anonymous blipvert above, for example, was followed by UPenn (founded by life on Mars expert and immigrant hater Benjamin Franklin) joining the Illuminati conspiracy to discredit the Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 scenario.
One group of chronology-challenged eschatologists even claimed that a recently-discovered calendar — which is older than the Doomsday Calendar — somehow makes the newer calendar wrong. Doh! Illogical!
Mas…Opinion: We must fight the anti-Mayan Calendar Illuminati 1% (video)
Double Feature: A good grade on a project is typically a good reason to celebrate but the way class ended for Pepito and Juan was not what they had hoped for …
“If the chancla flies, your mom is wise,” noted defense attorney Juan E. Cocran told the court, and we’ve got video to prove it.
The epic flying chanclas video topped the list of big estories on POCHO this week, but only just squeezed out the Mexclusive guest editorial by GOP nominee wannabe Mexican Mitt Romney, the latest chapter in the existential quest of Chuy and Smiley in Hey Vato! and very intimate advice from Dear Abuelita.
Here are the links:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Chanclas, foreskins, gay political football, meaning of life
Pepito isn’t pleased with the classroom’s reaction to his video project but he intends to continue what he began until …
Zorro’s Fighting Legion is a 1939 Republic Pictures serial featuring Reed Hadley as Zorro. The plot revolves around Zorro’s alter-ego’s (Don Diego‘s) fight against the evil Don Del Oro, who wants to become Emperor of Mexico.
An occasional trope in this serial is the ritual death of at least one native informant, much like the death of a red-shirted Star Trek Away Team newbie. The direction was identical for each snitch’s demise, creating a source of unintentional humor: each one, upon uttering the phrase, “Don del Oro is…”, is shot by a golden arrow and dies before revealing the villain’s true identity.
Here’s Chapter 2, Flaming Z. (0:15 mins)
Mas…Sabado Pochonte Video: ‘Zorro’s Fighting Legion, Flaming Z’
BRUNCH: Nothing makes for a mellow mom like the All You Can Drink Micheladas Mother’s Day Brunch at stylish Bar Racho at the Ritchie Valens Hilton on East Olmos Boulevard.
Executive Jefe Gustaco Naranjero once again promises his extensive buffet featuring a soft and hard taco station, the always-popular Holy Habanero salsa challenge and the spectacular Flan Fountain.
New this year is the Fusion Fiesta featuring creations like the Banh Mi Burrito, the Tamales de Lox and the Philly Cheesesteak Chimichangas. Don’t miss the free giveaway of the new mini Tapatio espray bottles for when you absolutely, positively need to spice stuff up.
Mas…Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do on Mother’s Day
After a mad scramble away from the mad homeless guy, Pepito’s video ends. But the reaction to his tale of gentrification and displacement is not what he had hoped…
(PNS reporting from BEVERLY HILLS) Inspired by Mitt Romney’s apology for assaulting a long-haired commie prep school classmate, one of the undocumented gardeners Romney hired and then fired in 1996 has issued his own apology.
Berto Lopez, now working as a freelance arborist in Beverly Hills, regrets he once peed on the then-governor’s prized petunias.
“I did some rude things when I was younger,” he told PNS Thursday, “and if I hurt any of those plants, well then I am truly sorry.”
But Lopez denied the peeing and the firing were related. “I peed on the plants because Romney was a pendejo — how you say — douchebag:”
Mas…Fired undocumented gardener sorry he ‘peed on Romney’s petunias’
Remember Pulp Fiction? Remember the army surplus store with The Gimp? Pepito is having flashbacks about that right now…
East of Los Angeles via Interstate 10 lies the Coachella Valley, home of the desert oasis of Palm Springs, a famed music festival and acres of stately date palms.
On the wrong side of tracks, in the town of Coachella, there’s a group of Chicano artists who call themselves The Date Farmers. They make art out of love for themselves and their neighbors. This is their story. (Apologies to iOS users. KCET insists on using Flash.)
Now that President Obama has put his personal seal of approval on marriage for gays and lesbians, our sponsor wants to get the word out about their newest service.
Won’t you give ’em some some unbiased sponsor-love and check out RentALatino’s offer?
Mas…A message from our sponsor: Gays for hire at RentALatino!
AJUA!! I am Mexican Mitt Romney, and I am here to clear the record on the GAY MARRIAGE.
Contrary to reports by ABC News and Perez Hilton about Barack Obama being the first president to approve of same-sex marriage, I invented it, and now Barack Obama is hogging all the credit! If you ask me, Obama is spiking the gay football! That is wrong! Everyone knows gays play tennis and hacky sack.
Now the gays are all running around and shrieking like the end of an episode of Ru Paul’s Drag Race just because the PINCHE North Carolina DOUBLE NEGATIVE GAY MARRIAGE Proposition that won this week. HIJOLE! Such drama queens!
In North Carolina it just means that Jethro cannot marry Jethro, but he can marry HIS COUSIN ELLIE MAE! Ajua! That’s what I call FREEDOM!
Pepito wraps up his discussion of gentrification, but not before an irate store owner decides to STAND HIS GROUND…
Chuy’s car might look a whole lot better with new rims, but is that really the way to improve one’s life, or to score with the ladies? Smiley offers an alternative approach to the existential question. (NSFW language.)
Dear Abuelita,
I have still my cuero (foreskin) and I was wondering if I get circumcised will I feel better when I am inside a choncho or will I be wasting my ficha.
Signed, Extra Carne
Dear Extra Carne Carnal,
Some people dislike extra carnita on their flauta but a little foreskin can be fun during foreplay. I can’t tell you how many times I played peek-a-boo with uncut pee-pees. Now you see it – now you don’t. Now you see it – oh, the laughs we had.
Mas…Dear Abuelita: Foreskin and seven years ago, I’ve got man boobs
Rubio was spirited away from his home in a car trunk at noon yesterday by friends who convinced suspicious local gang members the getaway vehicle was sagging the trunk was filled with drogas, one source told PNS.
“Pablo went to the Che Xuan Panda restaurant because to them he looks Mexican,” she said. “We all look Mexican to them. Also the 75 pesos lunch special with soup and egg roll rocks.”
 
Pepito sits by Juan’s hospital bed and tries to pick up his discussion of “gentrification” where he left off.
These darn kids today with their hoodies and Google Goggles and personal jetpacks — are they as excited about this year’s presidential election as they were in 2008? The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal went to Virginia Commonwealth University to investigate.
There’s terrible trouble in the hood when a shiny new taco cart opens up just across the way from the funky old place. What to do? Taco! Taco! Taco! was the 2009 winner of the HBO/New York International Latino Film Festival Short Film Competition. From John Estrada.
“Whether they think it will come to an end through the hands of God, or a natural disaster or a political event, whatever the reason, one in seven thinks the end of the world is coming,” said Keren Gottfried, research manager at Ipsos Global Public Affairs which conducted the poll for Reuters.
“Perhaps it is because of the media attention coming from one interpretation of the Mayan prophecy that states the world ‘ends’ in our calendar year 2012,” Gottfried said.
Confused by the controversy? We need some disinformation and we need it now, and that’s why we turned to the Disinformation Company for this video.
Mas…Only 1 in 7 believe in impending Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012
After that huge ¡POW! Pepito has some catching up to do — like WTF happened just now? Was the camera rolling? Where exactly is Juan?
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POCHO’s Lalo Alcaraz, Jefe-in-Chief, and Al Madrigal, Migrant Editor, Skype truth to power in PochoCast Number Four.
The long-distance interlocutors are all about Cinco de Mayo fever, Mexican Mitt Romney, Gustavo Arellano, Taco John’s, SB1070, Obama, the Dream Act, Los Lobos, Latino USA, Taco USA, La Cucaracha, Ann Romney, Twitter, hate mail, the Politico blog, FU money, MEChA, the Walmart Mexico bribery scandal, and this guy Al knows.
Although the podcast is recommended listening for your morning commute, do not listen while shaving, frying bacon (naked or not) or inserting contact lenses due to danger of cuts, burns and/or pokes in the eye. No warranty expressed or implied. Your mileage may vary. We don’t speak your crazy moon language.
Pepito continues his discussion of the forces of oppression and we’ve got the full episode below.
Coming in late?
Start with Numero Uno, and then try the exciting Number Two cartoon combo with rice and beans!
It’s so last century, the new generation of Chicano students say, and the hard-to-pronounce-and-explain name for venerable activist organization M.E.Ch.A has to change! POCHO covered the explosive debate and published your reader comments in this week’s biggest story.
And history came alive as anthropologists discovered a previously-lost tribe of Frenchman living in caves near the city of Puebla, MX. Are they a remnant of the troops sent by Napoleon III in 1862?
Keep on reading — we’ve got the latest ñews on Cinco de Mayo, the Hey Vato! homies discuss the Raider’s Nation, Romney’s campaigning parrot and more:
Mas…Ñewsweek: MEChA makeover, French tribe in Puebla, MX, Hey Vato!
Pepito continues his passionate denunciation of the pendejos that are keeping La Raza down, until…
The whole page is below.
Hey! It’s a Cinco de Mayo Sabado Pochonte video shoutout to the heavy metal head banger pochos in New York City — no banda for you! Welcome to Metal Kingdom is a short documentary on an underground Pan-Latino heavy metal club in Queens, NY. Filmed, directed and produced by Denise R. Gaberman. (NSFW language, etc.)
Ramiro Gomez is an installation artist who makes the invisible visible by inserting cardboard versions of usually-overlooked Mexican laborers into actual settings. Last night he emailed:
Fresh piece I just installed this afternoon on the westbound corner of Mountain Drive and Sunset Boulevard in Beverly Hills. If you’re driving around that part of town, stop by and check it out before it’s inevitably taken down.
Like Gomez wanted, POCHO stopped by the intersection the morning of Cinco de Mayo and shot this video. It reminded us of a Folgers Crystals instant coffee commercial: “We’ve secretly replaced your ordinarily-invisible immigrant gardener with a cardboard replica. Let’s see if anyone notices!” And we have photos from Gomez, below.
Mas…Cinco de Mayo installation art in Beverly Hills (video and photos)
QUESTION: How can you tell when Cinco de Mayo has turned into a totally American holiday? ANSWER: When gabachos from Tennessee start making rap videos about it in broken Spanglish! Dear Hootie (AKA Hoochie) and the Brofish: Orale!
For your Only in Los Angeles moment, check out a local news video about Cinco de Mayo at MexiKosher, a kosher Mexican restaurant in the heavily-Jewish Pico-Robertson neighborhood:
Mas…Cinco de Mayo is an American holiday — and we’ve got videos!
Pepito has a long list of people and companies and forces that have abused the Latino community for years.
And he names names!
There’s former California Gov. Pete Wilson, for example, the entire Republican party, the Hate State of Arizona, Lou Dobbs, beer companies and …
