Mexican garden statues get up, stand up and go on tour (photos)

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(PNS reporting from the HATE STATE OF ARIZONA) The “Sleeping Mexican” statues of Tucson we featured last week snooze no more. Buoyed by the online support they received after POCHO publicized their plight, these hombres woke up, stood up, dressed up and went on tour across Los United Estates to tell their story.

From their early untold history — hanging out backstage with Frank Sinatra — to their recent appearances at the Academy Awards, the Mexican garden gnome hombres (AKA gnombres) are on the move, getting out the word and straight up representing! Look for them in a garden near you, or in the photos below.

Mas…Mexican garden statues get up, stand up and go on tour (photos)

Ñewsweek: Curse like a Mexican, think like a vato, build an arcade

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This oddly-garbed teacher will show you how to curse like a Mexican

Attention pinche pendejos! Yes, you, culero! What? You don’t know what we’re talking about? Then you need to watch the one-minute video refresher course on How to curse like a Mexican, the biggest story on POCHO this week.

For the link and our other big stories, keep reading  below.

Mas…Ñewsweek: Curse like a Mexican, think like a vato, build an arcade

Kids, lowrider bikes, culture and history in Tucson 1996: ‘Low y Cool’

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When a French filmmaker shoots Chicano Tucson, the result is fascinating and maybe a little bit foreign — in a good way. Low y Cool documents the lives of the Camaradas Lowrider Bike Club in South Tucson, AZ in 1996. The 52-minute video was directed by Tucson resident and transplanted Frenchie Marianne Dissard with funding from French TV channel Planête Cable. The film has been seen regularly since 1997 on Planête.

My name is Lady Justice and I endorse this message

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Lady Justice wears a Hoodie for Trayvon Martin. George Zimmerman, the killer of the 17-year-old African-American teenager in Sanford, FLA, has finally been arrested and arraigned — this only after national outrage and agitation by Americans of all races. We hope that Justice is truly blind, and also that she wears a hoodie.

PochoCast #3: Alcaraz and Madrigal on tacos and art and identity

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How many Kinkade 'art' stores near you? Al Madrigal finds there's an app for that

POCHO Jefe-in-Chief  Lalo Alcaraz gets Migrant Editor Al Madrigal on Skype to talk about the art and death of Thomas Kinkade and the Pew Hispanic identity survey (Latino? Hispanic? Mexican?)

¡Ask A Mexican! Gustavo Arellano phones in to discuss his delicious new book Taco USA and producer Marcelo Ziperovich wonders if he’s a “white Hispanic” like you know who.

Oh! The laughs we had.  Those were the days my friend, I thought they’d never end. Is this thing still on?

Faux Kinkade by Mariner1.

Photos: ‘Sleeping Mexican’ garden statues? What’s racist about that?

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sleepingmexArizona sure loves its Mexicans!

Taos-based author and photographer John Hamilton Farr went to Tucson on family business and was stunned by the “Sleeping Mexican” statues all around his mom’s old hood. He photographed these guys “within a two or three block radius of my mother’s old place…less than 10 minutes!”

He brought the statuary to the attention of official neighborhood Arizonians. Their reply? “What’s racist about that?”

People are asking the same question in San Antonio and Tucscon.

Nine big versions of Farr’s photos are below.
And can you answer the trick question: What’s racist about that?

Mas…Photos: ‘Sleeping Mexican’ garden statues? What’s racist about that?

Paranormal investigators investigate Argentina cornfield OVNI tracks

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Experts from Argentina’s leading ufologist group Vision OVNI are investigating strange skid marks where some say an objeto volador no identificado landed in a farmer’s field in the northeastern province of Santa Fe.

Inexplicita explains the inexplicable this way:

A cornfield that appeared to display strange marks caused astonishment to many citizens of the town of Pujato… The event prompted a visit from member of Visión Ovni, the Victoria-based group devoted to the study of unidentified flying objects.

On 5 April, cornstalks standing 2 meters tall were found flattened in the same direction in the middle of a lot. The field is some 2 kilometers distant from Route 33 and the marks were found by Rubén Marelli, the owner, who presented a complaint on the following day…During a field survey, they found a trail measuring 2.10 meters wide and nearly 600 meters long, which presents side trails that open and mark a sort of figure eight, doubling back on themselves.

Scroll down for two big photos of the tracks. What do you think?

Mas…Paranormal investigators investigate Argentina cornfield OVNI tracks

Pocho Ocho U.S. military secret special operations

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The minute we heard the United States Air Force had planned and carried out Operation Chimichanga, we knew there had to be more to the story.  Our Pentagon sources confirmed the hunch:  The inspiration for the “chimichanga” code name was the way the Tex-Mex fried-burrito-belly-busters incapacitated unwary diners every time.  The brass hats’ hope was that secret teams in state-of-the-art aircraft could make the enemy moan just like fajita-fed TGIFridays customers on Cinco de Mayo.

There is more to the story — the pocho ocho secret Pentagon operations still in the planning stages:

8. Operation Don’t Drink the Water: Secret “wetback” forces from the Navy SEALS sneak into enemy territory and dose the water  with “pedo-biotic” agents bioengineered to cause widespread “Montezuma’s Revenge.”  This is expected to cause pandemic personal distress, lessen the enemy’s fighting capability and reduce water pressure.

7. Operation Hot Tamale: Inspired by the guetherman’s motto of “cool today, hot tamale,” stealthy airborne drones seed enemy skies with specially-formulated lard and masa pellets that trap your fat, screw your cholesterol and clot your veins. 

Mas…Pocho Ocho U.S. military secret special operations

Un chico makes his own arcade: Caine’s Arcade

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This has got to be the most wondrous film about a small Latino businessman ever made. Caine Monroy, a nine-year-old from East L.A.,  built his own DIY arcade out of cardboard boxes from his dad’s car parts store. He charges a dollar for two plays, but you really ought to get the Superpass, which is a good deal. He has designed security features with 99 Cent Store calculators, and an ingenious ticket delivery system that you have to see to believe. The excellent and funny short film is by Nirvan Mullick, who was Caine’s first and only customer — for a little bit, anyhow.

Watch the movie and warm your corazon!

Help Caine’s Scholarship Fund:

Caine’s Arcade online:

 

Pocho Ocho ways Latinas deal with unwanted body hair

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If you’re a Latina, then you know the dirty little secret: body hair everywhere. Maybe you didn’t grow up with hairy arms or legs, but once you approached 30 or had children, the secret caught up with you.

Hair on your arms, hair on your legs, hairy eyebrows, chin hair, toe and foot hair, moustaches, sideburns, hair on your breasts, even a female version of the treasure trail! Aye!

I’ve seen the culture around Latina body hair traverse everything from shame to denial to indifference to pride (I’m looking at you Frida Kahlo.)

But for the rest of us not so lucky to look good in a moustache, this hair must be dealt with. Here are the top eight ways this can go down:

Mas…Pocho Ocho ways Latinas deal with unwanted body hair

Spring cholo fashion tips from Le Smoké light up Montebello

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XXXXL pants are de rigeur
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Fresh cholo fashion tips brought style and fabulous funké decadence to the Montebello Town Center over the Easter weekend at fashion magistrate Le Smoké’s semiannual Eastsider Estilo Eshow, Low Rider Expo and Petting Zoo.

Le Smoké is celebrated for his ground-shaking declaration in 2006 that burgundy was the new red and periwinkle would not be considered blue. His list of do’s and don’t’s is always the highlight of the show.

Le Smoké, a 13-year Communications Sciences major at Unincorporated East Pocho City College and a 15-year veteran of the mean streets of Pocho Hills, a struggling suburb of Mission Pocho Viejo, uses the cutting edge of fashion rather than a prison shank to do his stabbing.

Mas…Spring cholo fashion tips from Le Smoké light up Montebello

Ex-cyber-cop: Stop border infiltration by Internet-powered ‘netbacks’

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Mexican taquerias that double as Internet cafes are a launching-point for netback infiltration

(PNS reporting from CYBERESPACE) They slip across the border at night, invisible, hidden in the multitude of American web surfers, bringing with them accented characters, exclamation points turned on their heads and foreign ideas like “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Mexican and Mexican-adjacent Internet users called “netbacks” are sucking up American bandwidth and adding so-called “salsa” to American websites — and right-wing forces want them stopped.

Mas…Ex-cyber-cop: Stop border infiltration by Internet-powered ‘netbacks’

POCHO remembers ñewsman Mike Wallace of CBS-TV’s ’60 Minutes’

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Mike Wallace, iconic hard-hitting interviewer and 60 Minutes OG, died Sunday at 93.

For one classic story, Wallace went to China to track down the manufacturer of counterfeit American toys and ended up confronting a smarmy, chain-smoking attorney, Nathan Thurm, Esq. Thurm was not pleased.

Ñewsweek: Tucson school board’s exercise in ignorance and hate

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'Hearsay evidence is all you need'

POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal (he commutes coast-to-coast so he can work nights as Senior Latino Correspondent for The Daily Show) went to Tucson AZ to find out why students there aren’t allowed to take classes in Mexican-American history.

Cameras running, Al interviewed a school board official who was apparently high on ignorance, stupidity and hate.

These are the POCHO stories that broke the ñews this week:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Tucson school board’s exercise in ignorance and hate

Disinformation Company: Doomsday 2012 Science or Superstition?

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Yo what is up with all this Mayan Doomsday 2012 stuff? We need some disinformation and we need it now, and that’s why we turned to the Disinformation Company for this video. Like check it:

Disinformation Company producer Gary Baddeley, director Nimrod Erez and the Disinformation team contacted and arranged interviews with multiple experts, often obtaining speedy access due to more than ten years of working with them or colleagues in their fields!

Mas…Disinformation Company: Doomsday 2012 Science or Superstition?

From Coldrank for Trayvon: ‘Black Man’ (music video)

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Citing Malcom X, MLK and Michael Jackson, rapper Coldrank‘s Black Man explores, shall we say, discrepancies in society’s treatment of blacks killing blacks, blacks killing whites and whites killing blacks. And those that don’t learn from history, he reminds us, are doomed to repeat it. Directed by Joe Mexican.

Video: Tortilla-chip UFO buzzes York, England — again

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“The mysterious Dudley Dorito UFO has been spotted for the fourth time in five years flying through a cloudless sky over woodland in Yorkshire,” reports Britain’s The Sun:

The object, which looks like an extra-terrestrial tortilla chip, was captured by an amateur cameraman who posted the footage on YouTube. He can be heard saying “I don’t know what that is” as the triangular aircraft glides silently across the frame above a forest in the north of England.

The UFO was dubbed the Dudley Dorito after its first sighting over the Midlands in 2007 but it is unclear whether the YouTube footage is real or a hoax.

Pocho Ocho new merit badges for Latina Girl Scouts

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These Girl Scouts are not in this story

Latina girls are the key to growth for the Girl Scouts,  and the organization needs to shift culturally to accommodate these new scouts.

How do you bring in a new crop of Latina scouts? How about some new Merit Badges?

8. Touting Trenzas.

It may be India María style or Frida Kahlo style, but any good Latina needs to know how to work the hair art. Whether it be one braid or two, a French braid or any other variety.

7.  Masa Mashing.

Scouts need to know how to mash masa around between their hands in a variety of ways. Masa mashing can be the cultural equivalent of chopping, the manner in which masa is mashed alluding to unspoken or subtle feelings, including: anger, happiness, interest, nervousness, etc.

Mas…Pocho Ocho new merit badges for Latina Girl Scouts

Chicano? Mexican? Cuban? Boricuan? Latino? Hispanic? What are you?

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NBCLatino asked POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz whether he’s a Chicano or Latino or Mexican or Hispanic.

Lalo was commenting on the Pew Hispanic Center survey everybody is talking about:

Nearly four decades after the United States government mandated the use of the terms “Hispanic” or “Latino” to categorize Americans who trace their roots to Spanish-speaking countries, a new nationwide survey of Hispanic adults finds that these terms still haven’t been fully embraced by Hispanics themselves. A majority (51%) say they most often identify themselves by their family’s country of origin; just 24% say they prefer a pan-ethnic label.

Mas…Chicano? Mexican? Cuban? Boricuan? Latino? Hispanic? What are you?

Pocho Ocho reasons Gustavo Arellano should win a Pulitzer Prize

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Arellano's book comes out next week

POCHO amigo Gustavo Arellano, the ¡Ask A Mexican! guy who writes columns and books and edits OCWeekly.com, has a new book coming out soon: Taco USA — How Mexican Food Conquered America.

Despite his adamant refusal to bribe us for coverage, we still want to present Pocho Ocho reasons he should win a pinche Pulitzer:

8. The use of the inverted exclamation point in ¡Ask A Mexican! has forced gabachos across America to learn special key combinations to send him hateful email.

7. Consistently employing “SantAna” when referring to the Orange County City of Santa Ana has moved Carlos Santana out of the old-age home and into a long-term gig at the House of Blues on Hollywood’s Sunset Strip.

Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons Gustavo Arellano should win a Pulitzer Prize

The California Mission lost to history: Santa Zipporah de la Culpa

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'Father' Shmuel meets Chumash tribal leader 'Alfonso'
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) As Passover approaches, we commemorate a little-known chapter in local history: the story of California’s only Jewish mission, Santa Zipporah de la Culpa.

Founded on Passover 1799 by a youthful colony of Spanish Jews fleeing the persecution of their parents, at its height the mission comprised a thriving community of several hundred souls along the Los Angeles River, near present-day Boyle Heights.

Often overshadowed by its overachieving Catholic neighbors in San Gabriel and San Fernando, Mission Santa Zipporah was founded by the storied ‘Father’ Shmuel, the Jewish missionary sometimes known by his nickname, “Father Sarah.”

Mas…The California Mission lost to history: Santa Zipporah de la Culpa

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