BREAKING ÑEWS: (PNS reporting from BIG BEAR, CA) Emerging from a long weekend “off the fuckin’ grid, dude” spent in an isolated mountain cabin with neither Internet nor cell service, area software programmer Carlos Perez has told friends he is angry he missed the entire Lil Wayne near death episode.
“A multi-Grammy-winning rap artist almost dies and I missed it?” he complained to cow-orkers when he returned to his Whittier office this morning. “And how did I get to be 33 years old and never hear about sizzurp? I could have used some purple drank up there in the goddam cabin with the stupid squirrels and owls and shit. B-o-r-i-n-g!”
