Rick Perry announced Monday he won’t be running for reelection as Texas’ governor.
So what’s up next for this GOP favorite? Here are the Pocho Ocho things on Rick Perry’s to-do list:
8. Concentrate his hatred on a wider range of disenfranchised groups
7. Sign with the Lakers
6. Spend more time with the Westboro Baptist family
5. Work on his mullet
4. Learn how to read and write English at a college level
3. “The third thing I would like to do next is…I would do away with the…let’s see. I can’t. The third one, I can’t. Sorry. Oops.”
2. Two words: Brony Cosplay
And the numero uno next thing on Rick Perry’s to-do list is…
“I’m going to Bible Land!”
Rick Perry photo by DonkeyHotey.