Remember that Latinx Trump supporter who told us to be scared, because if Hillary were elected there would be taco trucks on every corner? This vendido:
Dude was right, and here are the Pocho Ocho Top Reasons Why:
8. I’ll be forced into a perpetual cycle of “How many tacos can I eat in one sitting?”
7. Increased likelihood I’m ordering after a white guy who speaks better Spanish than me (shot-out Mormon missionaries, I see tu’).
6. In the first week, I’ll lose three fingers from frostbite after digging out my Mexican Coke from under the avalanche of shaved ice.
5. I’ll have to tattoo BOTH on my forehead, so as to expedite the “Rojo Or Verde” inquiry and then, PARA LLEVAR, on the back of my head.
4. My ATM withdrawal fees will skyrocket 47,000% because CASH ONLY?! Really? In 2018?!
3. More trucks means more tacos means less tortillas means more expensive tortillas. Supply and demand, bruh. We learned this in Holmes Economics.
2. If taco trucks are on every corner, where will I buy my Slurpee, cash my check or pawn my watch?
And the Number One Top Reasons to be scared of taco trucks on every corner is…
Mexicans.
- Carlos Aguilar is a writer and producer living in Los Angeles. He writes about family life @ bigbrowndad.com.