School’s out, summer’s in. Where you going for vacation? Huh? We asked you a question!
OK then. Be that way. Two can play that game. Here’s our list of the Pocho Ocho worst possible vacation destinations:
8. Community service. Were you volunteered? Court-ordered? Did your mom rope you into it? Whether it’s babysitting bratty kids at church or painting over graffiti-ed walls that will be covered in new graffiti by the next morning, there’s nothing quite like serving your community.
7. The public pool. Why such a drag? Probably because it’s about 60% chlorine and 40% other peoples’ urine. Swim away!
6. Your family’s rancho in the old country. No running water, no AC, no TP, you may not speak the language, no TV, no Internet, your relatives laugh at you behind your back — or to your face — and you have no escape until your parents come back for you.
5. Sleeping under a cactus with your tío. What? Do Mexicans not do that anymore?
4. Coach Sandusky Summer Camp for Boys Not Girls. Because nothing screams fun like spending a lot of time alone with an old man of ill repute.
3. Maricopa County Summer Camp. Tent cities, pink underwear, more time old with old men. The facility promises fun, fun, fun, as long as you check your civil rights at the door.
2. Zombie Florida. Maybe you daydreamed about the zombie apocalypse, well, now it’s here. Keep your hands to yourself, your eyes open and your face on.
And the numero uno worst summer vacation destination is…
Your house. You never go anywhere, man! Another staycation? What’s wrong with you?
Oscar Barajas contributed to this report. Image from FailBlog.org