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Pocho Ocho top premiums for donors to $heriff Joe’s KickStarter
Maricopa County Arizona $heriff Joe Arpaio is in big legal trouble and is asking supporters to help.
Arpaio said he doesn’t have the money for attorneys, adding that he feels “targeted” by the immigration rights groups that have sued him to stop what they say are racist policies targeting Latinos, according to the Los Angeles Times.
Mas…Pocho Ocho top premiums for donors to $heriff Joe’s KickStarter
White Mountain Apache getting more visits from ‘Big Hairy Man’ (video)
You call him Bigfoot. The Arizona White Mountain Apache Nation call him the Big Hairy Man. In this suspiciously-truncated and undated local video news report, eyewitnesses including law officers say the tall humanoid is venturing out of humanoid territory and into human territory lots more lately. The reports seem to date from 2009 with scant news since. Coincidence…or conspiracy?
Mas…White Mountain Apache getting more visits from ‘Big Hairy Man’ (video)
Racists 0, Raza 1 at ‘Support Sheriff Joe’ rally (NSFW video) *UPDATED
We don’t know this man, but we’d like to shake his hand! A (Phoenix?) demonstrator with a Mexican flag totally punked the pro-Sheriff Joe crowd in this new camera phone vid uploaded Wednesday by anti-immigration protestor Tucson William. [NSFW audio — some F-bombs.]
Mas…Racists 0, Raza 1 at ‘Support Sheriff Joe’ rally (NSFW video) *UPDATED
Diamondbacks’ Pocho Ocho top dessert concepts before the Churro Dog
Yes, they actually went there. Look for a new dessert this season at Chase Field in Phoenix as the National League Arizona Diamondbacks present the “Churro Dog.” Thankfully, no dogs were harmed in the making of this gut-busting, grand-standing heart-stopping dessert.
WTF is a Churro Dog, exactly? ESPN has the story:
The Churro Dog is a warm cinnamon churro sitting inside a Long John chocolate-glazed donut, which is then topped with frozen yogurt, caramel and chocolate sauces. Its estimated calorie count is 1,117.
But the Churro Dog concept wasn’t a random bark in the dark of night, no sir. Many ideas were thrown around the marketing infield, barking up the wrong tree, before the Churro Dog got the front office excited enough to get to third base. And you know what? Here they are — the Diamondback’s Pocho Ocho Top Rejected Dessert Concepts before the Churro Dog:
8. Willie Relleno
7. Negrito Refrito
6. Pink Cotton Candy Taco
Mas…Diamondbacks’ Pocho Ocho top dessert concepts before the Churro Dog
The sad true story behind ‘Spare Parts’ (videos, audio)
In 2004, an Arizona high school team beat the odds by topping M.I.T in an underwater robotics competition. The undocumented team members’ stories inspired a book, a documentary, and now a feature film produced by and starring George Lopez. Spare Parts (trailer, above) is in theaters now.
This interview with two original team members by Antonia Cereijido for LatinoUSA explains what REALLY happened before and after the events dramatized in the film. Is it our imagination, or does one of the guys almost break into tears at the end?
POCHO History 101: Public Enemy, Arizona, MLK Day (video)
In the final decade of the 20th Century Public Enemy‘s epic By the Time I Get to Arizona spotlighted the Hate State of Arizona’s failure to implement the Martin Luther King Day holiday.
#blacklivesmatter
The Geronimo Hotshots are on the front line of fire (video)
“That’s what we want them to remember. ‘Those guys are Apaches. And they came in here and put the fire out.'” The Geronimo Hotshots are on the Front Line of Fire combines hot GoPro fire footage with interviews of the forest firefighters from the San Carlos Apache Reservation in southeastern Arizona.
Feds make Sheriff Joe return military gear; he has Plan B
(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Racist Sheriff Joe Arpaio claims the Federal Government’s decision to reclaim “surplus” military gear (like tanks [photo] and M16 rifles) transferred to his department is no big deal since he has already procured new weapons to replace the full-auto rifles Uncle Sam wants back.
“Hell no! We don’t need tanks and M16s for these illegals,” the Maricopa County, Arizona lawman told reporters Wednesday. “We’re getting ethnically-appropriate personnel compliance effectuators from local manufacturers. I am told these things give Mexicans the FEAR!”
Mas…Feds make Sheriff Joe return military gear; he has Plan B
Back from the dead and running for Congress, it’s Cesar Chavez!
(PNS reporting from TUCSON) Cesar Chavez — noted American farm worker, labor leader and civil rights activist — is back from the dead and running for the congressional seat being vacated by retiring Rep. Ed Pastor (D-AZ).
“I will do just about anything to win in Arizona’s heavily Hispanic 7th Congressional District,” Chavez said in a press release, “including rising from the grave if that’s what it takes.”
A Chavez spokesman said the newly-registered Democratic candidate (until recently a two-time Republican loser) had been “flooded with calls” and was no longer speaking to the press, but if he did decide to answer questions, he would not discuss how he came back from the dead or what the afterlife is like.
Mas…Back from the dead and running for Congress, it’s Cesar Chavez!
Pocho Ocho items on Jan Brewer’s bucket list
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer won’t run again, she announced Wednesday, but said her retirement as governor won’t put an end to her dreams.
“A mule is an animal with long funny ears,” she told an audience at a school in Glendale, AZ, “she kicks up at anything she hears. Her back is brawny and her brain is weak, she’s just plain stupid with a stubborn streak. So when I walk out of this school, I’ll still remain a stupid mule.”
There are Pocho Ocho items on her bucket list, Brewja said:
8. Realize her dream of starting a clothing optional retreat with Sheriff Joe Arpaio
7. Spend more time with her coven
6. Convince George Lucas to cast her as Evil Yoda in the next Star Wars movie
POCHO History 101: Public Enemy, Arizona, MLK Day (video)
Twenty-one years ago Public Enemy‘s epic By the Time I Get to Arizona spotlighted the Hate State of Arizona’s failure to implement the Martin Luther King Day holiday.
Gustavo Arellano at ASU: The Glories of the Arizona Latino
POCHO amigo Gustavo Arellano (he's the ¡Ask A Mexican! guy and editor of the O.C. Weekly) delivered this keynote speech at Arizona State University's biannual Hispanic Convocation Wednesday. The photo (below) shows him at his day job.
Gracias, Arizona State, for asking me to be this year’s Hispanic Convocation keynote. I’m sure it’s a mercy offering to UCLA, after your Sun Devils demolished my Bruins this year in football. No hard feelings–hey, at least we both kicked the nalgas of USC this season, right?
When I announced that I was giving a speech here today, congratulations came from across the country. But also invading my inbox were the inevitable insults–not toward me, but toward the state of Arizona. “Don’t forget to take your papers!” was the most obvious dig. “Watch out for Sheriff Arpaio!” was another one–that one I took to heart, because he did have my former bosses at the New Times arrested a couple of years back. But the slams that I found especially egregious were those that insisted I shouldn’t bother coming to this so-called evil estado in the first place.
Mas…Gustavo Arellano at ASU: The Glories of the Arizona Latino
There’s a map for that: Best foods in every state (infographic)
Here’s an idea. Let’s decide what is the best food in each of the United Estates and make a big infographic.
What? Is that the voice of (Day of the) Dead Steve Jobs? What’s that, Steve? There’s a map for that?
Coming in at Numero Tres is a puro Califas burrito, known to non-locals as a “Misson Burrito.” Yes, I’m on a mission — I want a carne asada burrito ahorita:
New Mexico gets in the Top Ten with a stacked enchilada with green (Hatch, natch) chile:
Mas…There’s a map for that: Best foods in every state (infographic)
Twin Tragedies in AZ: Hispanic Heritage Month, Banned Books
It’s Octember! Or is it Septober? It’s the time of the year when the weather starts getting cooler, politic shenanigans get ignored and eyes begin to glaze over from lethal injections of sports, beer and chicken wings.
‘Merica.
Septober is also the pseudo-month that we deal in tragedies of two kinds: “Hispanic Heritage” and banned books. Interestingly enough, both tragedies cross paths in Tucson, AZ, ground zero for censorship in the 21st century.
The ballad of Tucson is a long and sad corrido. It will make you laugh and it will also make you cry. If all the world is a stage then Tucson definitely has its players; many of them clowns but most of them sad, voiceless puppets manipulated by a system hell-bent on pushing an agenda of whitewashed ambivalence.
Mas…Twin Tragedies in AZ: Hispanic Heritage Month, Banned Books
MAS Whitewashing: Tucson OKs textbook list with NO Chicano authors
Let me tell you a joke. Ready? The Tucson Unified School District. Get it?
No? Allow me to me explain.
On Tuesday night the TUSD approved a textbook list for their now defunct Mexican-American Studies program, which they have dubbed “Culturally Relevant US History and US Government.” The list, which consists of 25 books, has absolutely ZERO Chicana/o authors on it.
Go ahead and read that again.
If you have been following the divine comedy in Tucson at all then you already know that they not only destroyed their wildly successful Mexican-American Studies program but that they also banned a laundry list of books by Chicana/o authors, closed barrio schools and fired MAS teachers.
Mas…MAS Whitewashing: Tucson OKs textbook list with NO Chicano authors
Arizona schools remove ‘illegal Spaniards’ from high school curriculum
(PNS reporting from TUCSON) The Tucson Independent School District’s high school history classes will drop all references to Spanish conquistadores when discussing the history of North America before English pilgrims came to the U.S.
Instead, the district’s teachers will focus on more “American” historical figures, such as Englishman John Smith, School Board Chair Kyle Brown told a meeting of the group Tuesday evening.
“Arizona is part of America, and so we don’t want to give our kids any ideas about America being Spanish, or associated with illegal Spaniards,” Brown explained.
Mas…Arizona schools remove ‘illegal Spaniards’ from high school curriculum
Sheriff Joe taps George Zimmerman for school posse (photos)
(PNS reporting from PHOENIX) Now we know why child killer George Zimmerman was speeding through Texas with a gun in his vehicle — he was on his way to a new gig in Maricopa County, AZ.
Sheriff Joe Arpaio broke the news in a Tweet late Wednesday night: The sheriff has a new school patrol posse, and it includes Zimmerman, a failed cop wannabe.
Here’s a better picture of this new “sworn officer” (click to enlarge):
Mas…Sheriff Joe taps George Zimmerman for school posse (photos)
The map is not the territory — or is it? (toons)
We’ve already run maps seeking to explain such mysteries as Texas and Florida. But now for something completely different via our friends at Wired.com. Well semi-different. Actually not that different from the Texas map but instructive, nevertheless. It’s a map [click to enlarge] of Los United Estates, from Yanko Tsvetkov’s Atlas of Prejudice. Look right to you?
And here’s Tsetkov’s map of the world according to Americans [click to enlarge]:
Controversial magazine cover photos? Ask Oprah! (photo)
Of course we are sensitive to the complaints from Beantown (they’re beaners after all) about Rolling Stone’s decision to make controversial Caucasian-American Dzhokhar Tsarnaev their glamorous cover boy.
But as recovering ñewspeeps ourselves, we have to point out that the accused terrorist isn’t the first villain to make it to the cover of a slick zine:
- Mass-murdering terrorist Osama bin Laden was featured on the cover of Time with nary a protest.
- Pedophile-junkie Michael Jackson has been on every magazine cover everywhere and there are no crowds of moonwalkers with picket signs.
- Few heads were turned when serial bankrupter and ignorant liar Donald J. Trump graced Modern Toupee (his issue was the second-biggest seller after the Sen. Rand Paul cover.)
And there was no outrage when Oprah Winfrey put these two masterdeporters on the cover of O magazine in March of 2012.
We have to confess, though. POCHO’s biggest dream is to get banned in Boston.
Breaking: Napolitano brings harsh border enforcement to UC
(PNS reporting from BERKELEY) Department of Homeland Security Secretary (and former Arizona Governor) Janet Napolitano has accepted an offer to head up the University of California system.
Napolitano promised to do the same for the UC system that she did for the border during her time at DHS:
“I kept out and quashed as many Mexicans as any DHS Secretary could during my tenure, and now that Latinos are overtaking whites in California, I promise to do the same at the UC system,” she said in a statement.
Mas…Breaking: Napolitano brings harsh border enforcement to UC
Sheriff Joe is racist, says Federal judge, and Pocho Ocho other things
The news broke out of Phoenix late Friday, but to tell you the truth, we weren’t surprised. Judge G. Murray Snow of the United States District Court for Arizona officially declared the policing policies of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio unconstitutionally “racist.”
The New York Times summed up the decision this way:
… the sheriff relied on racial profiling and illegal detentions to target Latinos, using their ethnicity as the main basis for suspecting they were in the country illegally. Many of the people targeted were American citizens or legal residents.
It took us a while to read the entire ruling but we went through the whole thing and came up with eight additional findings about “America’s toughest sheriff”:
Mas…Sheriff Joe is racist, says Federal judge, and Pocho Ocho other things
Immigrant-loving John McCain sings: ‘You’re Our Guest!’ (music video)
The Republican Senator from the Hate State of Arizona, John McCain, is one of the “Gang of Eight” senators behind the new immigration reform bill. Today his office released this love song to the “new voters” he wants to legalize.
Breaking: Jan Brewer signs bill banning Chechen Studies
(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Gov. Jan Brewer has signed into law a bill banning the state’s schools from teaching Chechen Studies classes, defined as history, anthropology and literature courses designed to teach the stories, histories, struggles and triumphs of the Chechen people through their own unique perspectives.
The bill (HB2013) passed by the Legislature states that schools will lose state funding if they offer any courses that “promote the overthrow of the U.S. government, promote resentment of a particular race or class of people, are designed primarily for students of a particular ethnic group, advocate ethnic solidarity or just plain educate the students.”
Mexicans falling to Earth from space? Not to worry, scientists say
(PNS reporting from OUTER ESPACE) Let that long-held breath out, folks. The Alpha Mexnetic Spectrometer has picked up a lot of mysterious antimatter in low Earth orbit recently – but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a sign of falling Mexi-matter, AKA “Space Mexicans” falling to Earth, according to NASA.
In fact, even with the 400,000 pocho-particles picked up by the cosmic ray experiment – the largest number of such particles ever analyzed in outer espace — it’s unclear whether those pocho-particles result from decaying Mexicans left over from building the International Space Station, or simply from Mexicans shot into space from various border patrol agencies over the year.
The ambitious $1.6-billion Alpha Mexnetic Spectrometer is roughly 10 times more sensitive to Meximatter than its predecessors. The detector, which was ferried on the Space Shuttle Endeavour (also built by Mexicans) to the International Space Station in 2011, has picked up billions of pocho-particles since then.
Mas…Mexicans falling to Earth from space? Not to worry, scientists say
PNS*Hot*Flash: Sheriff Joe ‘damn sure’ Pope Francis is Latino
(PNS reporting from PHOENIX) The media may question the newly-elected pontiff’s ethnicity, but Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio firmly believes that Pope Francis is Latino.
“His real name is Jorge and he speaks Spanish. I’m damn sure he is a Latino; he’s probably a Mexican, ” Arpaio told the monthly breakfast meeting of the Sons of the Arizona Indian Wars Wednesday.
Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Sheriff Joe ‘damn sure’ Pope Francis is Latino
PNS*Hot*Flash: Sheriff Joe has fallen and he can’t get up
(PNS reporting from PHOENIX) Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has fallen and he can’t get up. The 80-year old remains in St. Joseph’s Hospital after falling and breaking his left shoulder on the way to lunch.
Doctors say they can fix him up better than ever:
Joe Arpaio, racist cop. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s first bionic bigot. Joe Arpaio will be that man. More racist than he was before. Hateful, senile, old.
Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Sheriff Joe has fallen and he can’t get up
Arizona ‘pro-life’ bill promises a gun for every unborn child
(PNS reporting from TUCSON) Arizona Republicans today proposed new legislation aimed at reducing the number of abortions performed in the state.
Although Arizona already has some of the country’s most extreme restrictions on abortion, State Rep. Kimberly Yee (R-Maricopa), sponsor of House Bill HB1069, says the Hate State still doesn’t fully protect “unborn children.”
“As Republicans, we understand that redefining a fetus as a person will not stop it from being killed. Only one thing stops unlawful killing, and that’s concealed carry. With this in mind, the new law mandates every unborn person in Arizona will be issued his or her own handgun,” she told the mostly-empty legislative chamber.
Mas…Arizona ‘pro-life’ bill promises a gun for every unborn child
Native American faces down anti-immigrant protest (NSFW video)
In a video uploaded Tuesday, and since widely-republished, a Native American pushing a baby in a stroller educates a crowd of Tucson, AZ anti-immigration demonstrators about who is really American and who is an alien invader. (NSFW language.)
Pocho Ocho things to charge on your new Sheriff Joe MasterCard
Que lastima!
Someone estole Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s identity and used his name to purchase groceries in Chicago. The Maricopa, AZ sheriff, unlike the pochodores here in the POCHO ñewsroom, was not amused.
We have a lot of things we’d like to purchase with Sheriff Joe’s moneh, and here are the top eight:
8. Taco USA by POCHO amigo Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano
7. ¡Ban This! by POCHO Florida Burro Jefe Santino J. Rivera
6. 2013 Good Luck Cartoon Calendar by POCHO Jefe Lalo Alcaraz
Mas…Pocho Ocho things to charge on your new Sheriff Joe MasterCard