asshole
Trump sings ‘Despacito’ to Joint Session of Congress (fake news video)
We got this video from the new dude in the White House — The Mooch. He’s a communicatin’ kinda guy.
Trump piñata gets gig as carpool lane dummy (photos)
Trump proposes fines for Latinos who say they’re ‘American’
Latinos pissed, aggressively emphasize America not a country
(PNS reporting from MANHATTAN) For years, Latinos have insisted that they are also “Americans.” Now, U.S. President Donald Trump plans to fine them each time they use the term.
Latin-Americans have well-known fury from being excluded from the “American” membership. Each time a U.S. citizen identifies as American, the resulting argument is more intense than deciding which abuela makes the best tamales.
Mas…Trump proposes fines for Latinos who say they’re ‘American’
Mexclusive Photo: Barack Obama wiretaps Donald Trump
[Toon by Donkey Hotey. Some rights reserved.]
Orange President salutes Black History Month (transcript, audio, toon)
Our historic President knows more about Black History Month than the last President, who was not so historic.
And instead of teaching us in American, the President is going to speak English to you, you know, to class up the history of this carnage-loving people, his African-Americans.
Our speech researchers here at the National Pochismo Institute took Wednesday’s speech transcript and ran it through a text-to-speech thang with a British-accented robo-bloke. And it sounds classy! You’ve never heard classy as bigly as this — all the words — the best words — plus a Ben Carson shoutout — and some bragging, lots of lies, and ignorance in abundance. Not to mention dissing CNN and non sequitors, slang, and muddled thinking. You’re welcome, mate.
Mira el transcript, with notes from POCHO’s Comic Saenz, and audio below:
Mas…Orange President salutes Black History Month (transcript, audio, toon)
Mariachis vs Pink Floyd: Another brick in the wall? Nunca! (video)
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall, for example Mariachi Cabos vs Pink Floyd’s Another Brick In the Wall. Winner: MARIACHI CABOS!
Donald Trump Tweets his feels about MLK (toon)
Donald Trump: ‘I didn’t start the fire!’ (toon)
[John Graham — from OZ — creates cartoons and caricatures. He is on Facebook, and sells his work online.]
On November 8, PUSSY GRABS BACK – the NSFW music video
On November 8, PUSSY GRABS BACK!. [Music video by Kim Boekbinder.] (NSFW F-Bomb.)
Donald Trump is The Great Baboso
For those of you not familiar with the Spanish word “baboso,” it generally refers to someone that is irresponsible or not intelligent. And its close cousin “babosadas,” refers to when a person talks nonsense or rubbish. In the current political atmosphere, the words are apt. Indeed, the words go a long way to explain why the world seems to be upside down at the moment.
EXIT . . . STAGE LEFT
Music video for Trump: “No way, pendejo, it isn’t gonna happen!”
Video creators Greñudo Productions write that No Way, Pendejo! is “a measured and thoughtful meditation on the 2016 U.S. presidential election.” We’re pretty much in agreement, except we’d characterize the baboso Donald Trump as a “pinche pendejo.” [Editor’s note: A greñudo is a person with unruly, messy, unkempt hair.]
CNN video: ‘Remittances’ from the U.S. keep this Mexican town alive
After a son leaves his small, impoverished Mexican town of Francisco Villa to find a better life in Chicago, he sends money to help his family — and hometown — alive. Racist Donald Trump says he would stop these “remittances.”
Batsh1t crazy TX Rep. Louie Gohmert: Beware of gays in space! (videos)
Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) has deep feels about his gay brothers and sisters in space because an asteroid killed the dinosaurs and what about extra-terrestrial colonies like Matt Damon and God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. He shared his concerns on the floor of the United States House of Representatives in late May.
Mas…Batsh1t crazy TX Rep. Louie Gohmert: Beware of gays in space! (videos)
Pocho Ocho things Donald Trump wants you to know about Mexicans
Because he wants to make America great again, GOP presidential nominee wannabe Donald Trump shared some nasty knowledge about Mexican immigrants when he announced his candidacy Tuesday (video).
They’re rapists, he said, and bring crime and drugs.
But that’s not all! Here are are Pocho Ocho top things Donald Trump also wants you to know about Mexicans:
8. If you rub a Mexican’s tummy just the right way, they’ll wiggle they brown little arms and legs and say “Squee squee squee” but in Mexican of course.
7. Mexican show business is infested with thesbians.
6. Mexicans are so crazy lazy they will take your job.
Mas…Pocho Ocho things Donald Trump wants you to know about Mexicans
Been indicted and it feels so good: The Governor Rick Perry Story
When news broke Friday that GOP presidential nominee wannabe Texas Governor Rick Perry (photo) was indicted on two counts of abuse of power, we were pissed off because we were in the middle of a conference call and didn’t that grand jury know our meeting schedule and publishing deadlines?
We realized later, however, that we had a treasure trove of Perry-ana that could be given fresh life on the Interwebs with a cool big-ass image of Perry, a clever headline and lots of SEO-friendly keywords.
POCHO proudly presents PREVIOUSLY ON INDICTED TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY THEATRE:
Mas…Been indicted and it feels so good: The Governor Rick Perry Story
Jon Stewart re kids on the border: ‘WTF is wrong with you?’ (video)
Why the kidsplosion on the border? Jon Stewart has the sad, and then explains why haters gonna hate. Spoiler: They’re haters.
Texas GOP politician’s Tweet makes him ‘Pendejo of the Month’
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Texas State Senator Dan Patrick, a Republican Lieutenant Governor wannabe, was named Pendejo of the Month Wednesday by the American Pochismo Institute (API.) The award followed his Univision debate Tuesday with San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro (photo.)
API’s designation, which is usually not revealed until the end of the month, was awarded Wednesday to Patrick for actions “Above And Beyond the Call of Douchery” after Patrick sent this Tweet Tuesday evening about how much he loves “Hispanics:”
Mas…Texas GOP politician’s Tweet makes him ‘Pendejo of the Month’
The Hickoids: ‘I’m A Real Cool Arrow’ (neo-polka cowpunk music videos)
He’s so rico suave, everyone says he’s a Real Cool Arrow! (Neo-polka cowpunk from Austin’s The Hickoids.)
PREVIOUSLY ON TEXAS POLKA:
Mas…The Hickoids: ‘I’m A Real Cool Arrow’ (neo-polka cowpunk music videos)
¡Wachale! POCHO Public Service New Year 2014 Punctuation Alert
The tilde — don’t leave home without it! Please share!
PREVIOUSLY ON HOLIDAY CULTURE ALERTS:
Mas…¡Wachale! POCHO Public Service New Year 2014 Punctuation Alert
Breaking: Pasadena asshole complains ‘No one likes me’
(PNS reporting from PASADENA) Bob Lowe recently discovered that — for some reason — he is disliked by all his coworkers.
He explained the confusing situation to PNS Wednesday afternoon as he poured himself the last cup of coffee, left the empty pot on the heating element, and walked away without making more.
“I just don’t get it, you know?” he said. “I mean, maybe I take peoples’ lunches sometimes, big deal, you know? What did you think was gonna happen if you left food in the fridge?”
Lowe’s officemates on the eleventh floor have complained to company Vice President of Human Resources Mike Cervantes numerous times about Lowe’s inability to keep deadlines, hapless attempts to get others to do his work, refusal to learn new things, terrible personal hygiene and general rudeness in the 10 months since he was hired, but to no avail.
Hey, wetbacks! Meet Rep. Don Young (R-AK) [audio]
Meet Congressman Don Young, a Republican from Alaska, who just called agricultural laborers who once worked on his father’s ranch “wetbacks.”
In a radio interview Thursday with KRDB this fine American legislator was full of the kind of wisdom that has inspired the deep thoughts of his homegirl, Sarah Palin, and assorted white power NRA-voting posses, militias and tea parties across the U.S. of A.
A three-second clip is at the bottom of this story. Play it here or download it and make it into a ring tone, or an auto-tuned viral meme! Thanks to KRDB for the audio. Oh, and here are the phone numbers for all the Congressman’s offices.