bank

Barack Hussein Obama’s biggest donors and best crony capitalist friends at JP Morgan Chase recently lost over two billion dollars in risky trades.

Instead of wailing about this so-called “Wall Street reform” nonsense, I have decided to open my own bank and mega Wall Street trading firm: JP Mormon.

At JP Mormon, we promise to keep your money away from the risky trades of Wall Street and in safe, secure island strongholds.

We will also store your hard-earned trust fund payments in secret European locations, places where Michele Bachman once held dual citizenship.

Mas…Mitt Romney: I’m proud to announce my new bank, JP Mormon