big brown dad

Pocho Ocho signs you’ve had too much coffee

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Hey.

You’re probably wondering why we’re all gathered here today in one place. Believe me when I say that it’s because we love you, and we care about you and your future.

Brother, that’s why we’re staging this coffee intervention. This shit is getting out of hand.

I’ll admit, as we look back, the signs were clear. So in hopes of preventing other families from going through this nightmare, I’ve put together this list of the Pocho Ocho Top Signs That You or Someone You Know Drinks Too Much Coffee.

Mas…Pocho Ocho signs you’ve had too much coffee

Pocho Ocho Top Signs Your Mexican Restaurant Is Too Authentic

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From Topeka to Tallahassee, Denver to Danvers, America suffers the scourge of inauthentic Mexican food.

Twitter has outed the worst offenders, sure, but equally troubling is the oft-neglected emergence of Mexican restaurants that are TOO authentic.

How will you know when you’ve entered the danger zone? You’re about to find out.

Here are the Pocho Ocho top signs your Mexican restaurant is too pinche authentic:

8. There’s a drunk man standing outside the restroom charging you for toilet paper.

7. The horchata is room temperature.

6. They don’t have change for your $20.

Mas…Pocho Ocho Top Signs Your Mexican Restaurant Is Too Authentic

Pocho Ocho top reasons I’m still scared of taco trucks on every corner

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Remember that Latinx Trump supporter who told us to be scared, because if Hillary were elected there would be taco trucks on every corner? This vendido:

 

Dude was right, and here are the Pocho Ocho Top Reasons Why:

8. I’ll be forced into a perpetual cycle of “How many tacos can I eat in one sitting?”

7. Increased likelihood I’m ordering after a white guy who speaks better Spanish than me (shot-out Mormon missionaries, I see tu’).

6. In the first week, I’ll lose three fingers from frostbite after digging out my Mexican Coke from under the avalanche of shaved ice.

Mas…Pocho Ocho top reasons I’m still scared of taco trucks on every corner