canadia

Ted Cruz campaign tracts warn of ‘Satan’s Spiritual Structure’

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tedcruzcheatsheetWhile Senator Ted Cruz (R-Canadia) was telling the crowd “To God be the Glory” [In Arabic, this is “Allahu Akbar”] in his Des Moines, Iowa victory speech Monday night, PNS snagged an example of the tracts campaign aides were passing out to the crowd — tracts detailing the Christian Sharia Law we can expect under President Cruz.

The rest of the tract is here….

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

Pocho Ocho top lessons of the Iowa GOP caucuses (NSFW video)

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What can we learn from the Senator Ted Cruz (R-Canadia) victory Monday in the Iowa GOP caucuses? It’s time to support CANADIANS FOR PRESIDENT! [NSFW video, one F-bomb.]

And what else? How about the Pocho Ocho Top Lessons We Learned from the Iowa GOP Caucuses:

8. He who smelt it, dealt it.

7. If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry caucus.

6. I know you are, but what am I?

Mas…Pocho Ocho top lessons of the Iowa GOP caucuses (NSFW video)

For Dia de Los Muertos: How about ‘The Mariachi Ghost?’ (video)

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Over the weekend, Mexi-Canadia’s The Mariachi Ghost dropped this awesome Halloween/DDLM music video, named The Marigold, after the distinctive flower of Dia de Los Muertos.

Who/what is this band, exactly? The jefe explains:

Me llamo Jorge Requena. Soy Chilango. Vivo e Winnipeg, Manitoba en Canadá. Mi banda The Mariachi Ghost ha tenido un poco de éxito por acá y estamos muy contentos.

Pero Estamos por sacar nuestro primer video. Dirigido por uno de los mejores cineastas del mundo, Guy Maddin, con premios desde un Emmy hasta un oso de oro.

Pocho Ocho things to eat that are way worse for you than bacon

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fryingbaconanimatedBacon is makin’ news because a questionably-reported study says the hot and salty candy can cause cancer – or not. They say we had to ditch the bacon, but we said, “No! No! No!”

That’s because there are Pocho Ocho Top Things You Can Eat That Are Way Worse Than Bacon:

8. Bush™  special frijoles — THE BROWN ONES™ — now with 25% more nepotism! [Editor’s Note: Our sources tell us this product may not be on the market much longer. Choose wisely.]

7. Uncle Ben Carson’s Tacos de Seso

6. Ferguson’s Gelato – You’ll be screaming, “Hands up! Don’t scoop!”

Mas…Pocho Ocho things to eat that are way worse for you than bacon

Chef Lindsay: How do you make fried kee-so tacos at El Cortez?

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They look scrumptious — especially the cheese that she crisps on the grill at El Cortez — but please, Chef Lindsay Porter, it’s kay-so, not kee-so! To be fair, El Cortez is in Edmonton, Alberta, Canadia, where they call their dollars “Loonies.” PRO TIP: Cortez is NOT a Mexican hero, unless you mean the Nike Cortez.

Mas…Chef Lindsay: How do you make fried kee-so tacos at El Cortez?

Chicano anti-war activist found in Canada after 44 years

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missing(PNS reporting from MONTREAL) A Los Angeles man who had not been heard from since he fled to Canada in 1970 to avoid the Vietnam War draft has been found in Montreal, according to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

When Albert “Sleepy” Dominguez missed the 1970 Chicano Moratorium in Los Angeles, noone knew he had quietly slipped out of the country the night before to go underground and avoid conscription to Vietnam.

Dominguez, then 19 years old, went so underground that neither family, friends nor the U.S. government could locate him to inform him that he was never, in fact, drafted.

Mas…Chicano anti-war activist found in Canada after 44 years

MexiCanada: Montreal mayor fights poutine burritos – ‘pou-tos’

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poutineburrito(PNS reporting from MONTREAL, QUEBEC) Authorities here are scrambling to halt the spread of a Mexicanized version of poutine, Canada’s beloved national dish of French fries covered with gravy and cheese.

The increasingly-popular poutine burrito, known as a “pou-to” or “poutito” (photo, above) has already swept through Montreal, and officials fear “pou-tos” will cross the Quebec provincial border into neighboring Ontario.

Mas…MexiCanada: Montreal mayor fights poutine burritos – ‘pou-tos’

Shocking live video: ICE busts motorist for ‘Driving While Canadian’

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They’re on guard all across Los Angeles — the dedicated officers of L.A. Illegal Canadian Enforcement (LA-ICE) — keeping us safe from the border-crashing Canuckians hordes of the Great White North. In this episode, the LA-ICE team investigates a motorist suspected of Driving While Canadian.

Al Madrigal exposes crafty Cancuckian plans to bridge Detroit (video)

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The patriots of the Motor City aren’t fooled by Canadia’s plans to pay for a new international bridge to replace the aging Ambassador Bridge to Windsor, Ontario. The Daily Show‘s Jon Stewart sent Al Madrigal to Detroit (and Canadia!) to find out why soccer moms, Tea Partiers and the Black Panthers are all opposed to this suspicious scheme. SPOILER: Cheap milk and Chinamen. Disclaimer: Madrigal is POCHO’s Migrant Editor.

Ñewsweek: POCHO vs Drudge, DREAMERS, bienvenue à Mexicanada

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Wassup in Pochostan this week, you ask?

President Obama’s groundbreaking executive order halting the deportation of innocent kids brought cheers and hateful feedback from the right wing mediocracy, more Mexicans are bypassing the U.S. and heading to Canadia and a mathematician proved Chicanos have only one degree of separation.

The most popular POCHO stories that broke the ñews this week are right here:

Mas…Ñewsweek: POCHO vs Drudge, DREAMERS, bienvenue à Mexicanada