confession

Real Life Stories: The Cheating Chicano Husband

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I always knew that we Chicano men were devious but I never realized just how much. I must admit I have always been the weak-willed type as far as temptation goes, but these past holidays really brought out the worst in me.

I was busy petting my dog named Vato, right before Christmas, when I accidentally hosed down la suegra just as I was finishing watering the lawn. Good thing I was leaving for work.

I heard her say as I was leaving, “¡Desgraciado, hijo de la chi…..! So I quickly drove off. But as I did, I heard her shout out to my wife, “I told you he was evil! How, can I go to Mass all wet, and I wanted so much to show off my new Sunday dress to all my friends.”

Needless to say, I’m glad I left the house rather quickly. Have you ever seen two angry Chicanas gang up on one innocent Chicano? Well, it’s not pretty.

Mas…Real Life Stories: The Cheating Chicano Husband

Local Latina activist tearfully faces reality: ‘I can’t save the world’

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(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Vanessa “Coyolxauhqui” García (photo, right) underwent a nervous breakdown at the Boyle Heights Community Development Council’s final 2012 meeting Wednesday night.

After several snotty tissues, García faced up to the vast distance between her dreams and reality.

“I can’t save the world! I can barely save myself!” she cried, wiping her tears on the sleeve of the Mexican peasant blouse she bought on her second trip to Chiapas in ’97.

“I’m, like, trying here. I just want to give back to my community, but it’s hard, you know? Not everyone is as dedicated to la causa as I am.”

Mas…Local Latina activist tearfully faces reality: ‘I can’t save the world’

Denver man’s shocking confession: ‘I prefer flour to corn tortillas’

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(PNS reporting from DENVER) Felix Garcia is out of the closet.  The Five Points resident called friends and family together yesterday to confess the secret he had kept hidden for so long:

I just didn’t want anyone to think I wasn’t Mexican enough. I mean, corn is OK and everything, but oh my God, a good flour tortilla is unlike anything else!

Long considered the more “authentic” tortilla, corn tortillas have been the favorites of Mexicans from Southern Mexico for centuries, as well as Chicanos interested in joining MEChA.

Advertising executive Garcia (photo)  spent most of his life feigning a preference for corn over flour, hoping that no one would notice his secret stash hidden in the deli drawer of the fridge, under the cold cuts, cream cheese and lox.

Mas…Denver man’s shocking confession: ‘I prefer flour to corn tortillas’

The Pope’s Pocho Ocho relaxed rules for Catholics besides condoms

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Pope Benedict XVI‘s 2010 statement that condoms are OK to prevent the spread of HIV is getting new attention now that some religious institutions are fighting a mandate to offer birth control as part of employee health plans.

The Pontiff’s relaxing the rules on condoms was mostly overlooked when he made it, along with Pocho Ocho other changes in Catholic doctrine you might not be aware of:

8. Premarital sex still forbidden except on alternate side of the week Thursdays.

7. It’s now OK to refer to the Three Wise Men as the Three Wise Dudes.

6. Confession now starts with “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned but You Only Live Once.”

Mas…The Pope’s Pocho Ocho relaxed rules for Catholics besides condoms