crap

Danny Trejo’s commercial for these tortilla things is full of WTF (video)

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trejotortillaOld El Paso Stand ‘N’ Stuff Tortillas — shaped like oblong bowls — are tortillas for people who can’t manage the folding and/or rolling demanded by traditional tortilla applications. While we ❤️ Danny Trejo and can’t fault him for wanting to make an honest buck, we have to ask, “Who eats this crap?” PRO TIP: Machete don’t cook.

Mas…Danny Trejo’s commercial for these tortilla things is full of WTF (video)

Mascot Madness! Brazil’s Mr. Balls, meet India’s Mr. Poo (NSFW video)

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ballsandpooThis story is not about the shameful racist pro sports team mascots that purport to honor Native Americans. It’s about icky Senhor Testiculo (photo, above left), the mascot of Brazil’s cancer society, who we think has just been “out-grossed” by Mr. Poo (photo, right), who comes to us from UNICEF in India.

Señor Poo is central to a publicity campaign to urge kids in India to Take the Poo to the Loo (instead of taking a dump somewhere in the open.)

Mas…Mascot Madness! Brazil’s Mr. Balls, meet India’s Mr. Poo (NSFW video)

McDonald’s to broke workers: Sell Xmas presents on Craigslist (video)

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McDonald’s employees-only website — McResources — has great tips for broke-ass employees trying to make it through the holidays with only their income from shitty minimum-wage jobs:

  • You’ll eat less if your break your food into little pieces
  • Holiday bills got you down? Sell the Christmas gifts you received on Craigslist!
  • You’ll feel less stressed if you sing!

Altnernet reports:

Mas…McDonald’s to broke workers: Sell Xmas presents on Craigslist (video)

Hispanic moms: Serve Jimmy Dean® for a dubious breakfast! (video)

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¡Hola, Hispanic moms! Serving your Hispanic family a dubiously-healthy breakfast is just a button-push away with Jimmy Dean® Brand croissant, egg, sausage and cheese breakfast sandwiches. Not only are they graded F for nutrition but you can heat them in the microwave to pretend you care! Each delicious serving packs a generous 60% of the daily recommended fat allowance and that means 45% of the cholesterol quota AND 60% of the saturated fat limit.

Wait, there’s more! Each sammich features a full half ounce of protein and over a third of your daily allowance for salt. Jimmy mexplains:

CHICAGO–(EON: Enhanced Online News)–The Jimmy Dean brand (www.jimmydean.com), America’s favorite traditional breakfast sausage brand* will release a new Spanish-language TV commercial this month to promote its popular line of breakfast sandwiches to Hispanic consumers.

Mas…Hispanic moms: Serve Jimmy Dean® for a dubious breakfast! (video)

Pocho Ocho signs that you are a renter

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Here at POCHO headquarters, not all of us own our own homes. As a matter of fact, some of us are the victims of less-than-concerned landlords. Oh, the joys of renting!

Here are the Pocho ocho signs that you’re renting:

8. Your towel rack is broken for weeks at a time and you have to hang your towel on the front stoop, which “brings down property values” but doesn’t lower your rent.

7. You can hear cats having sex on every side of your apartment complex in the middle of the night.

6. Toilets, showers and sinks occasionally overflow with water that smells funny.

Mas…Pocho Ocho signs that you are a renter