Yojani Pérez Rivera aka Mamerto and his 23yG crew are on the skating edge of the new Cuba. This just-released documentary short is part of a fundraising effort to get the kids some gear and upgrade the skate park in Havana. [Video via Cuba Skate.]
PREVIOUSLY ON CUBA:
After the Cuban Communist Revolution, auto sports were banned as elitist, but now they’re back. Hot rods are drag-racing down the streets of Havana — with the blessing of the Party! FUSION reports.
PREVIOUSLY ON CUBA:
Cuban-Canadian-American Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) is the best man for the next President of the United States, you Yankee hosers. With Sarah Palin as VP.
PREVIOUSLY ON TED CRUZ:
Mas…One Canadian’s Opinion: Sen. Ted Cruz for President (video)
In Havana late last month, Cuban cigar smokers competed to determine who could maintain the longest (unbroken) ash.
PREVIOUSLY ON CUBA:
The competition is heating up and Americans are glued to their big screen TVs to see who will be America’s Next Serial Killer. We’re betting on Jesus Marin. [NSFW adult language.]
The late Pete Seeger always got everyone in the audience to sing along for Guantanamera — in Spanish. (Editor’s Note: That’s why they call it folk music. It’s music you sing, not just music you hear.)
Seeger [‘s] intention [was] that [Guantanamera] be used by the peace movement at the time of the Cuban missile crisis. He urged that people sing the song as a symbol of unity between the American and Cuban peoples, and called for it to be sung in Spanish to “hasten the day [that] the USA… is some sort of bilingual country.”
RIP.
(PNS reporting from HAVANA) El Presidente Comrade Raul Castro’s handshake with imperialist war criminal Barack Obama at the Nelson Mandela memorial service in South Africa was a slap in the face of the workers of the world and a betrayal of Cuba’s Communist Revolution, an old school Communist Bay of Pigs veteran charged Tuesday.
“That handshake marks a Day That Will Live in Infamy,” Ernesto “Little Che” Altacaca, 76, told everyone hanging out at People’s Barbershop #245 on Calle de Los Cadres. “It is like the Hitler-Stalin nonaggression pact (photo, below) combined with a very special episode of Chico and the Man.”
“Did El Presidente demand the Yanqui perro return Guantanamo?” the long-time area resident asked. “No! Did he demand an end to the embargo that has penalized the people for half a century? Nyet! Did he insist Obama recognize the workers’ rights to self determination without capitalist exploitation and immediately send six dozen complete gasket sets for 1954 Chrysler New Yorkers? No way! And what about Pete Seeger remitting that record business royalty money for the song he stole from the poor people of Guantanamera?”
Mas…Cuban Reds say Raul Castro-Obama handshake betrayed Revolution
(PNS reporting from FLORIDA) Diana Nyad walked onshore here Monday, becoming the first person to swim from Cuba towing 400 escaping balseros. The 64-year-old Nyad swam up to the beach just before 2PM EDT, about 53 hours after she began her journey in Havana.
As she approached, spectators waded into waist-high water and surrounded the Cuban refugees, and offering them water. “I have three messages. One is, we should never, ever give up. Two is, you’re never too old to chase your dream. Three is, all you Cubans better pay me the smuggling money you owe me.”
“I have to say, I’m a little bit out of it right now,” Nyad said. She gestured toward her swollen lips, and simply said “Cubans.”
Cuban ballet dancers who recently defected from their troupe in Mexico and now live in Miami are “amazed at how many foods come canned and can be easily heated up in a microwave,” according to the Associated Press.
Canned foods! But wait, there’s mas. Here are the Pocho Ocho other things about the U.S. that also surprised our new island immigrants:
8. Studebaker, DeSoto, Willys and Nash are out of the automobile business
7. America’s most famous Cuban? Mark Cuban
6. Fidel is a sofa bed mogul and Che sells t-shirts
Mas…Pocho Ocho things about the USA that surprise Cuban defectors
Happy Tax Day, pochos! This week on MiJA I discuss the near conclusion of back-room negotiations on immigration “reform” and delve deep into the heart of the Internets to discover Barbies of the World. You think Mexican Barbie is bad — Peruvian Barbie comes with an anchor baby (and she’s not the worst of them!)
Mas…Elise Roedenbeck’s ‘MiJA Weekly’ Tax Day Espectacular 4.15.13 (video)
It’s hard to make a living as a Communist car thief in the Republic of Cuba; there aren’t many cars worth stealing. But every once in a while a hard-working Marxist-Leninist scores a sweet European import, like this stylin’ Fiat. And don’t worry about hot-wiring the ignition, either, Comrade. From each according to his ability; to each according to his need.
Mas…Surveillance video: Havana car thieves jack sweet Italian ride
Before capitalism cancer kills commie commissar Hugo Chavez and it would be TOO SOON to mock him, here’s a look back at POCHO’s coverage of the Venezuelan jefe:
(PNS reporting from CARACAS) Hugo Chavez — re-elected to a third six-year term as president of Venezuela — has again called on Americans to re-elect Pres. Barack Obama.
In a four-hour televised speech to his nation late Sunday, Chavez called Obama the best hope for Socialism in the Western Hemisphere. The left-wing strong man had previously endorsed the President in September.
“El Obama deserves your support, gringos,” he said in a rare foray into English. “He may not admit to being a Marxist-Leninist but inside he is as red as your Danny Glover and Oliver Estone.” [Continued here…]
Sofia the First, Disney’s new animated princess is a Latina, hooray! Wait, she’s not a Latina? Well, then who is Disney’s Latina princess? Princess Malinche, you say? Orale!
Another ñewsweek at POCHO meant princesses, the Gap’s taste in t-shirts, Mitt’s taste in short shorts, Fidel Castro is still not dead, Donald Trump is still a jerk and more.
The links:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Meet Princess Malinche, beat the Gap, Fidel’s not dead
Fidel Castro is still alive, you imperialist running dogs, and we’ve got photos to prove it. That was the message from Cuba’s official Communist Party newspaper Granma this week as rumors swirled that the ailing dictator had suffered a stroke and was incapacitated. Granma published this photo of Fidel on his prison island reading his own Mainstream Media.
But wait, there’s more! Here’s a selection of photos published by Cuban entertainment weekly Che Paso:
Mas…Cuba releases photos to show Comrade Fidel is not dead yet
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) Restrictions that kept Cubans from fleeing the island for half a century will be lifted, according to the Communist Party Central Committee’s official newspaper, Granma.
And in a candid interview, America’s favorite Latino rebel Fidel Castro was asked how he felt America would respond to the new policy and expected exodus. He replied simply: “Fuck ‘em.”
“As part of the work under way to update the current migratory policy and adjust it to the conditions of the present and the foreseeable future, the Cuban government, in exercise of its sovereignty, has decided to again flood Miami with even more of our people because fuck America. How you like me now, bitches?” Castro told PNS.
Mas…Miami braces for mass influx as Cuba lifts travel restrictions
(PNS reporting from CARACAS) Hugo Chavez — re-elected to a third six-year term as president of Venezuela — has again called on Americans to re-elect Pres. Barack Obama.
In a four-hour televised speech to his nation late Sunday, Chavez called Obama the best hope for Socialism in the Western Hemisphere. The left-wing strong man had previously endorsed the President in September.
“El Obama deserves your support, gringos,” he said in a rare foray into English. “He may not admit to being a Marxist-Leninist but inside he is as red as your Danny Glover and Oliver Estone. “
Mas…Victorious Hugo Chavez to Americans: ‘Back my socialist amigo Obama’
NBCLatino asked POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz whether he’s a Chicano or Latino or Mexican or Hispanic.
Lalo was commenting on the Pew Hispanic Center survey everybody is talking about:
Nearly four decades after the United States government mandated the use of the terms “Hispanic” or “Latino” to categorize Americans who trace their roots to Spanish-speaking countries, a new nationwide survey of Hispanic adults finds that these terms still haven’t been fully embraced by Hispanics themselves. A majority (51%) say they most often identify themselves by their family’s country of origin; just 24% say they prefer a pan-ethnic label.
Mas…Chicano? Mexican? Cuban? Boricuan? Latino? Hispanic? What are you?
POCHO Migrant Editor and Daily Show Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal explains the nuances of the Latino electorate to host Jon Stewart.
The secret? Arroz by any other name …
