Donald Trump

Wharton School transfer student from Queens makes shitstory.

Orange President salutes Black History Month (transcript, audio, toon)

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Our historic President knows more about Black History Month than the last President, who was not so historic.

And instead of teaching us in American, the President is going to speak English to you, you know, to class up the history of this carnage-loving people, his African-Americans.

Our speech researchers here at the National Pochismo Institute took Wednesday’s speech transcript and ran it through a text-to-speech thang with a British-accented robo-bloke. And it sounds classy! You’ve never heard classy as bigly as this — all the words — the best words — plus a Ben Carson shoutout — and some bragging, lots of lies, and ignorance in abundance. Not to mention dissing CNN and non sequitors, slang, and muddled thinking. You’re welcome, mate.

Mira el transcript, with notes from POCHO’s Comic Saenz, and audio below:

Mas…Orange President salutes Black History Month (transcript, audio, toon)

I went to Trump Tower, the Belly of the Beast (videos, photos)

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Hi. It’s me, Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz.

I just capped a week of touring the East Coast speaking at Harvard University’s Beyond Tomorrow arts conference and a presentation at LatinoJustice PRDLEF (the legal nonprofit where Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor once defended Boricua rights) with a visit to The Eastern White House, Trump Tower.

I was joined by my NYC sherpa, Jeronimo  Saldaña, creator of the MAKE MEXICO GREAT AGAIN hats, when we foolish ventured into the Golden Toilet that is Donald Trump’s supervillain lair.

Outside, we encountered heavy security, including barricades, NYPD wagons and four or more combat-armed Secret Service agents as doormen, and many more inside. After going through metal and bomb detector security, the guard told me, “This is the Secret Service. We don’t mess around.”

Mas…I went to Trump Tower, the Belly of the Beast (videos, photos)

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