drunk
Americans stick with traditional ignorance for Cinco de Mayo
(PNS reporting from the EEUU) Tex-Mex restaurants across the country are banding together this week to ensure the flawed traditions of margaritas, sombreros, maracas, bastardized Mexican food and overall cultural cluelessness are again propagated upon masses of uninformed Americans this Cinco De Mayo.
Mas…Americans stick with traditional ignorance for Cinco de Mayo
Dear hungry homeless guy: You can eat tacos with our family (videos)
The staff at Taqueria Mexico on West Colfax Avenue in Denver asked a homeless man to leave Thursday night.
Not so fast, said patron Vanessa Varona, who was there with her family, and offered to buy him a meal.
FOX31 KDVR in Denver has the story:
DENVER — A Denver woman’s Facebook post is going viral after she said a local restaurant refused to serve a homeless customer.
Mas…Dear hungry homeless guy: You can eat tacos with our family (videos)
Taco Tuesday + Cinco de Mayo = Drunk Tacos + Fresh Guac!
How many times does Cinco de Mayo also fall on Taco Tuesday? Our guess is 14% of the time or 1/7th but math is hard, amiright?
But the odds are with us today (the Fourth Was With Us yesterday, and with you) so let’s get loqui with two of our favorite thematically-appropriate videos — Tacos by My Drunk Kitchen and Fresh Guacamole. Are you ready? Remember, kids don’t try these at home!
Mas…Taco Tuesday + Cinco de Mayo = Drunk Tacos + Fresh Guac!
Gringo explains: Taco Bell is not Mexican food (NSFW video)
Gringo Patrick DeGuire grew up in Southern California so he knows his comida mexicana [NSFW adult humor.]
PREVIOUSLY ON TACO BELL:
Mas…Gringo explains: Taco Bell is not Mexican food (NSFW video)
New Year Ñews: Local man says Obama stole his American Dream
(PNS reporting from EL PASO) Jason Morales finally figured out why his “get up and go” got up and went, he told friends at Hoopy Frood’s on New Year’s Eve, and all clues point to President Barack Obama.
“President Afrika Hussein Bambata is the worst president in this country’s history,” he announced to the teeming North Mesa Street establishment after his fourth Blue Moon with an orange wedge, “and he has robbed me of my chance at the American dream.”
Mas…New Year Ñews: Local man says Obama stole his American Dream
It’s National Taco Day! Eat ’em if you got ’em
According to either the National Taco Industry Council, or some drunk person who also just made this up, today is National Taco Day in the United Estates.
And it says so, on to the online hub of this holiday, NationalTacoDay.com:
In 2012, Americans ate 4.5 billion tacos!
That’s 490,000 miles of tacos, which could take you to the moon and back or, if you prefer, could, at 775-million pounds, equal the weight of two Empire State Buildings.
Damn, that just makes me feel fat. Also on their site, they state oddly that:
Breaking: New stamp honors Hispanic Heritage Month
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) The U.S. Postal Service has released a new stamp to mark Hispanic Heritage Month 2013, which begins September 15.
The El Borracho stamp kicks off the Hispanic Male series, the brainchild of Joe Sendembach, who left the Border Patrol to join the USPS as an artist and rose to Director of Creative Services.
“It honors the way us veterans of the MIGRA-Industrial Complex feel about the Hispanic male,” according to Sendembach.
“We plan other cultural stamps along these lines, including a Drug Mule series,” Sendembach wrote in a press release distributed this morning.
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
The true story of ‘Two Corn Chips at the Playground’ (video)
Once upon a time there were two corn chips, friends. They used to play together at the school playground. One chip thought the other was not playing fair, and he told him. This is their story.
Steubenville: I was 16, drunk and stupid too, but not morally bankrupt
I remember being 16. I was stupid…but not that stupid.
I keep thinking about the Steubenville rape case and I can’t get the phrase “What the fuck is wrong with you people?” out of my head.
People aren’t sure who to blame, whether it’s a larger problem that encompasses the parents, the football culture, the entire town. You can chalk it up and say, “Oh they’re just young teens being stupid,” but the truth is, by the time you are 17 you are grown-ass-up enough to know right from wrong.
Mas…Steubenville: I was 16, drunk and stupid too, but not morally bankrupt
Local man blames Obama after ‘get up and go’ got up and went
(PNS reporting from EL PASO) Jason Morales finally figured out why his “get up and go” got up and went, he told friends at Hoopy Frood’s on New Year’s Eve, and all clues point to President Barack Obama.
“President Afrika Hussein Bambata is the worst president in this country’s history,” he announced to the teeming North Mesa Street establishment after his fourth Blue Moon with an orange wedge, “and he has robbed me of my chance at the American dream.”
Mas…Local man blames Obama after ‘get up and go’ got up and went
We’ve got your Pocho Ocho cures for la cruda right here
We all know it’s coming. It’s only Thursday, but THE WEEKEND is right ahead of us — a sign post up ahead that spells PARTY. And somebody is gonna get her drink on.
If that means you, perhaps we can help with the Pocho Ocho cures for your hangover (la cruda.)
8. Menudo. In my social circles, menudo is the go–to method for scaring away that nasty cruda. The power of the Aztec gods? Meat? Corn? Who knows why, but word has it that it works.
7. More alcohol! Hair of the dog, as it were. This method is perhaps one of the oldest cures for cruda. Does it work?
Hoy in History 1/3: Drunk ‘how to cook a taco’ video? Must be Taco Tuesday!
It’s the year’s very first Taco Tuesday, which means you can laugh yourself back to work with this borracho taco recipe video.
Cooking while drunk is dangerous, especially if it involves charp knives. Don’t try this at home.