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When ‘The Hobbit’ took back Aztlán: A Latino nerd reads Tolkien

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Today the names Smaug and Thorin Oakenshield will enter American pop culture. Dwarves rambling on a reconquista while Gollum plays riddles will reach a new audience because Peter Jackson filmed the nerd classic, The Hobbit — prequel to Lord of the Rings.

Film has more impact than the written word in today’s society and this version will reach a greater number of people than J.R.R. Tolkien’s book ever will. I am overjoyed that this classic will reach a greater number of gente, but I am filled with sadness that a child’s first encounter with The Hobbit will be in a loud theater instead of a quiet library.

Regardless, I look forward seeing my mental images from the book acted out in the big screen. And remembering the hours reading the book, which played a monumental role in my becoming Eres Nerd.

Mas…When ‘The Hobbit’ took back Aztlán: A Latino nerd reads Tolkien

She replaced Feliz Navidad with ‘Feliz Hanukkah’ (audio)

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When Austin resident Trina Hernandez (photo) found out her family had Jewish roots, it allowed her to ditch the commercial aspects of Christmas she had long disliked and connect to a tradition she found more meaningful for her and her son. From NPR’s Latino USA with Maria Hinojosa.

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Tía Chita: ‘It’s final! I’ve absolutely, positively made my last tamal!’

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(PNS reporting from LAREDO) Tia Chita will not be hosting the annual holiday season tamalada at her house this year, she revealed to her family last night. As a matter of fact, she told stunned participants at her niece’s baby shower, she never wants to make another tamal in her life.

“First of all, I’m sick of all the gossip!” she shouted, pacing around the room quicker and quicker the more excited she became.

“I know the tamaladas are where all the comadres are supposed to catch up on ‘family news’ and everything, but did you ever think that I really don’t care who’s sleeping with whom and who’s going to have a baby? Ya estoy vieja, I’ve been a million weddings already!”

Chita is sick of everyone coming over to eat her food and then leaving dirty napkins everywhere, staining her nice couches with tamal grease, she said. Sometimes the bathroom gets stopped up, and she has to have the neighbor come over with the plumber’s snake. “He’s not a smell-good plumber,” she grimaced.

Mas…Tía Chita: ‘It’s final! I’ve absolutely, positively made my last tamal!’

POCHO Estaff Reports: The Real Turkeys of Thanksgiving

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POCHO’s Especial Correspondents spread out across America yesterday observing Thanksgiving (just like normal people!) and sent in notes about their day. Some names were changed to avoid unpredictable results.  Read their stories and share your own in the comments!

Homeboy in East Los: My family’s so Mexican we carved the turkey with a switchblade ·IN MEMORY of SMILEY·

Dateline, Austin: MEChA cousin Xochiloctl is in the living room refusing to eat turkey and playing Call of Duty instead.

Nancy in Santana, the O.C.: That awkward moment when three-year-old Cousin Ricardo makes a big announcement that everybody better finish their plates because Mommy spent the whole day cooking the dog.

Mas…POCHO Estaff Reports: The Real Turkeys of Thanksgiving

Why do I discipline my daughter – and dance – in Español?

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As a small girl, I refused to speak Spanish with my mother.

She was born in Sonora, MX and grew up speaking nothing but Spanish so this must have frustrated her. Now, I think, wouldn’t it have been easier to just learn the language while I was small?

Thankfully, I finally realized the value of being bilingual in my teen years and made a commitment to become fluent in Spanish during high school.

I watched only Spanish TV and every summer my mom would drop me off in Hermosillo to be immersed in the culture and spend time with my cousins. It was a lot of fun, and it worked.

Now that I am a mom, I think I might have figured out why I refused my mother’s native language for so long. Just the other day, my daughter acted out in public over the absence of her sippy cup and the first words that came flowing out of my mouth were, “Mi hijita, no me grites. Espérate por favor.”

The situation caught my attention when everyone around us stopped what they were doing and looked at us, confused. That’s when I realized I raise my daughter in English but I discipline her in Spanish.

Mas…Why do I discipline my daughter – and dance – in Español?

Dear Abuelita: Is my girlfriend really a virgin? And why no sex now?

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Dear Abuelita:
I am a 20-year-old Latino man. My girlfriend will not have sex with me until we get married and she insists she’s a virgin. I’m not sure she’s telling the truth. Is there any way to tell if she’s a virgin or not?
Crazy with Celibacy

Dear Crazy with Celibacy:
Ever hear of “something old, something new, something borrowed and some things are turning blue?” Listen, loco, there is only one sign you should be looking for and it’s an EXIT sign. Head for the hills, better yet, head to where buffalo girls roam and don’t come home until you’ve got your color back. That is unless…

Mas…Dear Abuelita: Is my girlfriend really a virgin? And why no sex now?

Scientists ID Chicana who hasn’t seen ‘Blood In Blood Out’ (video)

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bloodin(PNS reporting from ALTA CALIFORNIA)  Ethnic anthropologists recently discovered the last living Chicana who has never seen the coming-of-age movie Blood In Blood Out.

The woman, not named in the report, was spotted and identified last summer in the Los Angeles suburb of Cudahy, according to a study published in the prestigious journal Science.

The subject, 32, had no explanation for not seeing the film that is “required viewing” for a true Chicano or Chicana, according to the paper, although scientists have been analyzing her brain for abnormalities in her “cholo receptors:”

Mas…Scientists ID Chicana who hasn’t seen ‘Blood In Blood Out’ (video)

Home from my Mexican holiday, I feel like ‘a bad Mexican’

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Not my abuelita

I spent my two-week New Year’s vacation with family in Mexico. When I got back to L.A. I felt like I had crossed a finish line and, thankfully, made it back safe and sound.

My trip was not really over, though. Everyone at work and in my life was curious. “How was it?” people asked, waiting for me to tell them about my “homeland.”

Which version did they want, the sugar-coated one or the uncensored version? Normally, I would say “It was good. I got to spend quality time with my family and relatives and ate a lot of delicious cheap food!” But that hardly touches the surface.

I know that I am supposed to feel a deep connection, a feeling of being with my people, a sense of being “at home.” But when I am there, I count the days until I come back to the States. I feel like a bad Mexican.

Mas…Home from my Mexican holiday, I feel like ‘a bad Mexican’

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