By DANIEL A. OLIVAS
Listen to me. I’m not feeling very patient right now and you seem to be thinking about being somewhere else. But listen to me. Look over there. No, not there. There. See? See him? Yeah. His name is Marco. He has a wife, Octavia, and two sons in this pueblo just outside of Guadalajara.
By Janie Isidoro
Yes, I’ll admit it.
I have had six Coronas too many.
I’m at the moment where everything is hilarious and I love everyone. I hug random people and tell them how great life is. I hug my brother and tell him how much I love him and hate him for reading my diary when I was 15, baboso!
Cleaning up after Gema’s wedding is so much easier now that I’m drunk. I keep seeing Hector out of the corner of my eye, watching me. We have been friends since we were in 2nd grade.
He comes over next to me grabbing the glass bottles of Coronas from the tables, “Let’s get married.”
I try and look over at him but my eyes are having the hardest time adjusting to his face, “Whatever! Hurry up and pick up the bottles I want to rap!”
He starts laughing and keeps grabbing the bottles, “¡Pues oralé, rap!”
Dammit if these Coronas haven’t made me brave!
“Okay, podemos ir a caminar pero si te cansas, es tu problema. No cargo bebes,” Lina says meanly to her four-year-old cousin.
“I’m not a baby!” says Teresita predictably but then insists on bringing her large plastic car, a hideous yellow contraption with giant painted eyeballs instead of headlights. Teresita gets in the toy car and looks at Lina expectantly. Lina sighs and begins to push her down the street.
“This is just a stroller, you know.” Lina grumbles. “You’re not making any progress into becoming a real person.”
Teresita either does not hear or pretends not to understand the English sentence. Lina suspects that rather than being a child “confused by the dichotomies of her bilingual upbringing” as the pre-school teacher suggested, that Teresita is just selectively deaf.
Interoffice Memo
To: Samantha
From: Tomi
Date: July 12, 2011
Subject: Guess what?
Scott, the new associate, just offered me the executive assistant job. He says we could do a three-month trial. He’s offering $45,000 a year.
What do you think?
Tomi
P.S. Yo mama is so ugly she makes onions cry.
(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Following the warm reception to the upcoming César Chávez biopic, producers in Hollywood have mounted an international effort to produce the “most extensive Chicano film in history.”
The production not only features an all-star cast from the United States and Latin America but also includes both factual and fictitious events in Chicano history.
“The idea is to jam pack as much history, culture and entertainment into two hours of film so that young Chicanos don’t have to read any books to learn about who they are,” said the project’s director, Pedro Almodóvar.
“In fact, if possible we are going to try to make the two hours into an hour-and-a-half, because our target audience has no attention span.”
Mas…Hollywood Spaniards, Puerto Ricans plan ‘ultimate’ Chicano film