fifa

Pocho Ocho top reasons for Brazil vs Alemania futbol FAIL

by

brazilsadTuesday’s disastrous Brazil-Germany FIFA2014 World Cup futbol match, which ended in Germany whipping the host country 7-1, has saddened the nation (photo.) And on Wednesday, Brazil’s soccer fans were struggling to understand what exactly went wrong.

We analyzed press and social media reactions and translated from the Portuguese to bring you their Pocho Ocho top reasons for Brazil’s FAIL:

8. Blame it on the bossa nova, with its magic spell.

7. All those pesky Hitler clones on the Brazil team let Germany win.

6. Alemania? We thought we were playing Ally McBeal!

Mas…Pocho Ocho top reasons for Brazil vs Alemania futbol FAIL

Area futbol fans celebrate El Tri’s 3-1 victory over Croatia (photo)

by

mexicosoccer(PNS reporting from HUNTINGTON PARK, CALIFAS) Hundreds of local athletic supporters — fans of the Mexican World Cup futbol team — celebrated El Tri’s 3-1 victory over Croatia Monday afternoon (photo, above). The celebration was mostly peaceful and Huntington Park police said only four fans were arrested — three for disorderly conduct and one for leaning like a cholo in the wrong direction.

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

 

Brazil TV guy tries to punk Mexicans with extra-picante salsa (video)

by


When a Brazilian TV guy tries to prank visiting Mexican futbol fans with what he thinks is super-spicy salsa, it turns out the joke is actually on him. What’s uber picante in Brazil, tu sabes, ranks as “meh” to Mexicanos. One intended victim actually thinks Brazil-boy’s salsa is kind of “sweet.”

PREVIOUSLY ON SALSA:

Mas…Brazil TV guy tries to punk Mexicans with extra-picante salsa (video)

Latinos y gringos in Buenos Aires? Eat tacos, watch futbol here (video)

by


Attention assorted Latinos and gringos: Are you stuck in Buenos Aires far away from home when you’d rather be watching the World Cup with your amigos? Come on down to La Fábrica del Taco (LFDT) at either Gorriti 5062 Palermo or Baez 246 Cañitas for comida, cerveza and futbol! Maybe you’ll miss home a little less. [“La Fábrica del Taco,” they write on their SoundCloud page, “es una taqueria bien chingona en Buenos Aires, Argentina. La única y autentica taqueria al sur de la frontera. Invitamos a todos los melo.”]

Does your Argentinan taqueria have a SoundCloud page? The Taco Factory does:

Mas…Latinos y gringos in Buenos Aires? Eat tacos, watch futbol here (video)

Brazil sex workers learn English to prep for World Cup (NSFW video)

by


The Association of Prostitutes of Minas Gerais is teaching English to sex workers to help them deal with foreign customers. The state will host a match between Costa Rica and England and expects horny hordes of visiting futbol fans. Monday’s class, run by Igor Fuchs, was the last before today’s formal start of the games in Sao Paolo. [NSFW adult language and images.]

Along with normal conversational vocabulary, the students also learn words which might be used during encounters with clients. Sex work has been legal in Brazil since the year 2000.

Ex-Daily Show contributor John Oliver (Last Week Tonight on HBO) has some excellent World Cup coverage, too:

Mas…Brazil sex workers learn English to prep for World Cup (NSFW video)

¡Ask A Mexican! Why do Chicanos root for the Mexican soccer team?

by


It’s that Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano guy again, this time explaining why Mexican-American soccer (futbol) fans root for the Mexican team even if the game is against Los United Estates. Arellano, looking a little green, claims it’s one of the cultural peculiarities gabachos hate most about Mexicanos.

PREVIOUSLY ON FUTBOL:

Mas…¡Ask A Mexican! Why do Chicanos root for the Mexican soccer team?