florida

Miami Latina running for Congress took a trip on a UFO (video)

by

Three tall, blonde-haired space aliens kidnapped her and took her for a ride in their UFO, which was controlled by quartz rocks, she said. Now Republican entrepreneur Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera (pictured with non-alien tall blonde — we think) is seeking the GOP nomination for Florida’s 27th Congressional District.

The NY Post has some deets:

Mas…Miami Latina running for Congress took a trip on a UFO (video)

Latinos boo Senator ‘Little’ Marco Rubio at Orlando fiesta (audio, video)

by

rubiobooIf was not a fun fiesta for Senator Marco Rubio (R-FLA) Sunday when Orlando festival goers greeted his appearance with a chorus of yells, jeers and boos.

NPR reports:

Florida Sen. Marco Rubio got booed off a stage in Orlando on Sunday, by a crowd that was overwhelmingly Latino.

It happened at Calle Orange, a street festival in downtown Orlando geared toward the city’s large Puerto Rican community. The icy reception was an indication of the challenges that Rubio, a Republican of Cuban heritage, has faced in locking down support from Latinos in Florida as the state’s Latino electorate has begun to shift to the left….

“I’m going to introduce a man who represents Latinos, no matter where you’re from,” the emcee boomed in Spanish. The boos grew louder still. “Ladies and gentlemen, the senator for the state of Florida, a Latino like you and me … his name is Marco Rubio! Applaud!”

We’ve got video and audio:

Mas…Latinos boo Senator ‘Little’ Marco Rubio at Orlando fiesta (audio, video)

Orale! It’s the Yeb Bush Cinco de Drinko Game (video)

by

yebbushMany politically conscious Chicanos are looking for yet another alternative way to Celebrate Cinco de Drinko but still protest the ahistorical consumer appropriation of a battle that is meaningless to most Mexicans.

Well, Jeb Bush (aka el Yeb according to his Mexican compadres) has provided us with a warm video message of solidarity this Fifth of May to honor the “honorable” way that the Mexicans fought against foreign invaders in the Battle of Puebla. Did I mention that the message is all in Spanish?

Mas…Orale! It’s the Yeb Bush Cinco de Drinko Game (video)

Miami Melanie seeks taco-eating bearded Joseph she met @ Bodega

by

craigslist-logoCL south florida >miami / dade >personals >missed connections
W4M

Joseph with a Beard- met on dancefloor of Bodega - w4m (south beach)

Joseph---

We met this past Saturday night on the dance floor of Bodega. You had just gone in for tacos with your friend who was visiting (HE WAS SO TIRED).

Though you and I just started being silly and theatrical with our dancing-- and we really connected.

Mas...Miami Melanie seeks taco-eating bearded Joseph she met @ Bodega

Expect these Pocho Ocho surprises in tonight’s State of the Union

by

obamabackWashington insiders all know tonight’s State of the Union address — like every one before — will bring a few surprises.

We asked around town, and our peeps say these are the top eight to watch for:

8. First use of the Booger-Cam™ captures candid live video of bored Republicans

7. Warmup act Oprah Winfrey to Congress: “You get a drone…and you get a drone. Everybody gets a drone!”

6. Obama cruises to the Capitol in a clean 1953 Packard limousine, a gift from the people of Cuba

Mas…Expect these Pocho Ocho surprises in tonight’s State of the Union

Why Rep. Joe Garcia (D-Miami) picked his ear wax, ate it on TV (video)

by

garcia-pick(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) A close look at a recent C-SPAN video reveals that Florida Democratic Congressman Joe Garcia, Jr. picked his ear wax and ate it on live TV, a Cuban folkloric ritual rarely seen outside Miami’s Cuban-American community.

“La Ceremonia de la Cera del Oído can be traced to a curandero who lived in Guantanamera, Cuba around 1750 or so,” University of Miami Professor of Anthropology Freso “Biff” del Blanco told PNS.

“By eating the ear wax in public, the eater hopes to symbolically ingest and consume all that he is hearing through his ears, to better understand the cacophony of voices in his head.”

Mas…Why Rep. Joe Garcia (D-Miami) picked his ear wax, ate it on TV (video)

Sarah Silverman: Stand your ground – with the Black NRA (video)

by


The Second Amendment is for everyone, right? Join Sarah Silverman and support everyone’s right to life, so a young black man — armed with a gun for self defense — can wear a hoodie and walk to the store for Skittles without fearing for his safety. The Black NRA: Because we all need to stand our ground!

Swimmer Diana Nyad tows 400 balseros from Cuba to USA

by

balserosweb(PNS reporting from FLORIDA) Diana Nyad walked onshore here Monday, becoming the first person to swim from Cuba towing 400 escaping balseros. The 64-year-old Nyad swam up to the beach just before 2PM EDT, about 53 hours after she began her journey in Havana.

As she approached, spectators waded into waist-high water and surrounded the Cuban refugees, and offering them water. “I have three messages. One is, we should never, ever give up. Two is, you’re never too old to chase your dream. Three is, all you Cubans better pay me the smuggling money you owe me.”

“I have to say, I’m a little bit out of it right now,” Nyad said. She gestured toward her swollen lips, and simply said “Cubans.”

Mas…Swimmer Diana Nyad tows 400 balseros from Cuba to USA

The map is not the territory — or is it? (toons)

by

mainlandusamapbigWe’ve already run maps seeking to explain such mysteries as Texas and Florida. But now for something completely different via our friends at Wired.com. Well semi-different. Actually not that different from the Texas map but instructive, nevertheless. It’s a map [click to enlarge] of Los United Estates, from Yanko Tsvetkov’s Atlas of Prejudice. Look right to you?

And here’s Tsetkov’s map of the world according to Americans [click to enlarge]:

Mas…The map is not the territory — or is it? (toons)

Breaking: Zimmerman arrested in bizarre gun heist

by

zimmermanbustedbig(PNS reporting from SANFORD, FLA) George Zimmerman is back in jail here tonight, arrested after a bizarre attempt to pinch his pistola from the police evidence room.

Zimmerman, 29, got away with murder Saturday night in the killing of unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin. Under Florida law, he is entitled to the return of his child-killing semi-automatic, a Kel-Tec 9mm handgun.

But the law apparently wasn’t moving fast enough for Zimmerman, who took matters into his own hands (sound familiar?) and attempted to sneak into the Sanford Police Department evidence room and retrieve his roscoe (photo, below.)

The Z-man tripped a security beam and cameras spotted the semi-disguised Zimmerman (photo) before he could go on the lam with his swag. The Zimster was formally arrested at 7:30PM Monday night on suspicion of burglary.

Mas…Breaking: Zimmerman arrested in bizarre gun heist

Pocho Ocho absolutely worst things to do with a Taco Bell burrito

by

Eric Brown, 36, of Pt. Lucie, FL, is awaiting an arraignment for “assault” because he allegedly threw a Taco Bell burrito in his 16-year-old brother-in-law’s face.

Just so you don’t run afoul of the Law of Burritos, make note of the pocho ocho things you should never EVER do with a Taco Bell burrito:

8. Smoosh it in a 16-year-old’s face

7. Use it as a suppository

6. Mix with papier mache to make a piñata

Mas…Pocho Ocho absolutely worst things to do with a Taco Bell burrito

Al Madrigal dives into the Tea Party’s manatee manifesto (video)

by


President Bronco Bama might have been reelected, but that doesn’t mean the Tea Party is ready to give up. In Florida, they’re trying to keep the Socialist UN-Occupied Federal Government out of their water sports, insisting on their Constitutional Right to Ride Manatees.

The Daily Show’s Al Madrigal dives deep into the depths of Florida to meet the manatees, the manatee people and the Tea Partiers fighting for their right to party with these large, fully aquatic, mostly herbivorous marine mammals, which are sometimes known as sea cows. And monkeys riding dogs. [Disclosure: Al is also POCHO’s Migrant editor, and we’re so proud!]

I could have been an astrophysicist, except I’m a Latina

by

Back in October, Florida created a new set of educational policies which permits/expects blacks and Latinos to test lower on standardized tests than whites or Asian students.  Since they’re expected to test lower,  Florida thereby eliminates the  embarassing “achievement gap” and the white education bureaucrats can “stand their ground.”

While we’re at it, why don’t we segregate each classroom per race? We can even have separate bathrooms and drinking fountains per race. Seems legit!

I am actually the product of the Florida school system. This ethnic divide rule reminds me of my first year at the University of Central Florida. Though I had a great high school record and was making straight As, I had to take mandatory seminars teaching me how to do well in school.

Did everyone have to take these courses? Nope. Well, why would a straight-A student have to attend such seminars?

Because I am Latina.

Mas…I could have been an astrophysicist, except I’m a Latina

Ñewsweek: Adios to Florida, viral Latinophilia, hot sex escandal

by

Florida once against led the nation in advanced asshattery (Arizona — step up your game!) as it became the first state to actually secede from the United Estates, thanks to President Bronco Bama’s “Don’t Let the Door Hit Your Ass on the Way Out” declaration.

In East Los, gangbangers finally got their chance to do it Ganga/Gangnam style with Don Cheto, and across America many right-wing racists seemed to be suffering from an infection of acute contagious Latinophilia, with Fox-head Sean Hannity leading the pack of patients.

And then there was the shock resignation of Maria Cholula after revelations of her affair with Tagberto Tapatio.

We have all the big ñews links here:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Adios to Florida, viral Latinophilia, hot sex escandal

+ Load More Posts