foreign policy
Reports: NAFTA negotiations extended until end of time
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) NAFTA negotiations between the U.S., Canada and Mexico will likely only conclude when mankind ceases to exist or if extraterrestrial raids breed unity among humans that leads to the dissolution of international borders, according to two sources with direct knowledge of the trilateral talks.
Donald Trump: ‘I didn’t start the fire!’ (toon)
[John Graham — from OZ — creates cartoons and caricatures. He is on Facebook, and sells his work online.]
Gov. Willard ‘Mitt’ Romney according to The New York Times (photo)
“At his worst, Mr. Romney sounded like a beauty pageant contestant groping for an answer to the final question…” –Editorial, The New York Times.
Attn Night Editor: Replace debate images, rewrite hed, update story
NIGHT EDITOR! REPLACE THIS TEXT, REWRITE THE HEADLINE AND SWAP IN NEW IMAGES BEFORE WE GO LIVE.
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) President Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romney met for their final debate here tonight and blah blah bah.
The two clashed over foreign policy with Romney accusing the president of herp, derp and zoool, and Obama countering that Romney really la la la I can’t hear you.
Staged in the retiree-heavy community of Rat Mouth, where eternally-flashing left-turn signals are the law of the land and the population lives on Early Bird Specials, the debate was declared a draw by people who weren’t paying attention and a total oratorical victory for Obama by everyone else.
Boca Raton and nearby communities of Delray and Boynton Beach are fetid humid swampland still unredeemed from the biting, itching and crawling creatures that call this their natural home. The area was only chosen as the debate venue because Jerry Seinfeld’s parents live nearby and wanted to come. PAGE BREAK HERE.
Mas…Attn Night Editor: Replace debate images, rewrite hed, update story
Al Madrigal to Jon Stewart: Mexicans lack ‘culture of success’ (video)
POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal reports on GOP nominee wannabe Mitt Romney’s trip to the Middle East and schools The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart on how Israel and America have God on their sides and how Mexico and the Palestinians don’t.