Pocho Ocho top immigration actions Obama will reveal tonight

thistallPresident Barack Obama will defy Republican haters tonight and reveal “executive actions” to “fix the broken immigration system.”

Our sources at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue have shared a copy of the 5 PM EST speech and we can now reveal the Pocho Ocho top immigration reforms you’ll hear in the President’s address to the Nation:

8. If Central American child refugees can pat their heads and rub their tummies at the same time, they can cut in line.

7. Families of DREAMers are OK to stay if they mow the lawn.

6. Badges, stinking or otherwise, no longer needed.

Mas…Pocho Ocho top immigration actions Obama will reveal tonight

Rosebud Sioux Nation: Keystone XL Pipeline Vote is ‘Act of War’

nycnokxlLast week’s vote to approve the controversial Keystone XL pipeline by the Republican-controlled United States House of Representatives constitutes an “act of war” and a “death warrant,” according to the South Dakota Rosebud Sioux (Lakota) Nation, Lakota Voice Rez News reported Friday.

Tribal President Cyril L. Scott rebuked the House, according to Rez News:

The House has now signed our death warrants and the death warrants of our children and grandchildren. The Rosebud Sioux Tribe will not allow this pipeline through our lands. We are outraged at the lack of intergovernmental cooperation. We are a sovereign nation and we are not being treated as such. We will close our reservation borders to Keystone XL. Authorizing Keystone XL is an act of war against our people.

Mas…Rosebud Sioux Nation: Keystone XL Pipeline Vote is ‘Act of War’

Meet the American Nazis who protect our US-Mexico border (video)

bordernazisThese Nazis wear swastikas and call themselves National Socialists, sure, but they’re not really socialists. They’re more nationalists, really, supporting the White Nation. All they want to do is to save America from the loser and quitter immigrants who gave up on their home countries to invade the U.S. of A. After all, integration was forced on the White Man at the point of a bayonet. White people get racially profiled too, you know.

Mas…Meet the American Nazis who protect our US-Mexico border (video)

Been indicted and it feels so good: The Governor Rick Perry Story

rickperryhorseWhen news broke Friday that GOP presidential nominee wannabe Texas Governor Rick Perry (photo) was indicted on two counts of abuse of power, we were pissed off because we were in the middle of a conference call and didn’t that grand jury know our meeting schedule and publishing deadlines?

We realized later, however, that we had a treasure trove of Perry-ana that could be given fresh life on the Interwebs with a cool big-ass image of Perry, a clever headline and lots of SEO-friendly keywords.

POCHO proudly presents PREVIOUSLY ON INDICTED TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY THEATRE:

Mas…Been indicted and it feels so good: The Governor Rick Perry Story

Alaskans praise candidate who will save us from illegals with tats

joemillerracistmailer (PNS reporting from ANCHORAGE, AK) Some they call him Joe, some they call him Doh! but one group of Alaska voters is 100% behind Joe Miller, the Tea Party-affiliated candidate who is seeking a United States Senate nomination.

“His campaign mailer (click on photo to enlarge) convinced us that Miller will do a great job keeping the thriving Latino community of Alaska in check,” read a press release issued Thursday by Cecilia Jones, the president of National Organization for Minorities, Advertisements, Media Exposure and Symbolism. “And that especially goes for your drug-dealing border-crossing tat-wearing illegal alien Democrat voters!”

Mas…Alaskans praise candidate who will save us from illegals with tats

Oklahoma GOP uses jumping bean in a sombrero on fundraising flyer

jumping150Come for the (Mexican jumping) “GOP Bean Feed,” read the Oklahoma Republican Party fundraising flyer, and maybe you’ll stay for the KKK lecture. No offense, though.

Truthyism has the story:

Oklahoma democrats were shocked to see the crude racially charged image of a Mexican jumping bean on a GOP fundraising flyer for governor Mary Fallin which claimed to have information about the KKK.

In fact, many had assumed this was a hoax or a parody.

Mas…Oklahoma GOP uses jumping bean in a sombrero on fundraising flyer

Political Science: How a bill becomes a law (toons, video)

How A Bill Becomes A Law CartoonLast week, the Republican-uncontrolled House of Representatives failed to pass a minimal spending bill to help with the unexpected crush of Central American refugees, adjourned, and then reconvened to approve a mean-spirited barebones measure that also would reverse President Obama’s DACA relief for DREAMers, and worse. Then they adjourned again.

Of course, the bill has no chance of passage in the Senate, let alone getting a Presidential signature.

Their obstructionist mission accomplished, the do-nothing pendejos left town for their summer hideouts in the rich white safety of their home districts.

Their Tea Party-twisted debates, however, left a lingering aroma over Capitol Hill, and it wasn’t Laspang Souchong.

 

SPOILER ALERT: The aroma was SHIT.

Mas…Political Science: How a bill becomes a law (toons, video)

NPR: Who are the refugee kids at the border? (audio, video)

Researcher Elizabeth Kennedy interviewed a 12-year-old boy who returned to El Salvador barefoot; he had been robbed of everything he owned.

"I asked him if he was going to try again," says Kennedy, "and he just burst into tears and said, 'What would you do if you were me? I haven't seen my mom or my dad in 10 years ... and no one here loves me.'"

NPR/Parallels writes:

Since October, a staggering 57,000 unaccompanied migrant children have been apprehended at the southwestern U.S. border. Sometimes, they’ve been welcomed into the country by activists; other times they’ve been turned away by protesters.

Mas…NPR: Who are the refugee kids at the border? (audio, video)