gop
Been indicted and it feels so good: The Governor Rick Perry Story
When news broke Friday that GOP presidential nominee wannabe Texas Governor Rick Perry (photo) was indicted on two counts of abuse of power, we were pissed off because we were in the middle of a conference call and didn’t that grand jury know our meeting schedule and publishing deadlines?
We realized later, however, that we had a treasure trove of Perry-ana that could be given fresh life on the Interwebs with a cool big-ass image of Perry, a clever headline and lots of SEO-friendly keywords.
POCHO proudly presents PREVIOUSLY ON INDICTED TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY THEATRE:
Mas…Been indicted and it feels so good: The Governor Rick Perry Story
Alaskans praise candidate who will save us from illegals with tats
(PNS reporting from ANCHORAGE, AK) Some they call him Joe, some they call him Doh! but one group of Alaska voters is 100% behind Joe Miller, the Tea Party-affiliated candidate who is seeking a United States Senate nomination.
“His campaign mailer (click on photo to enlarge) convinced us that Miller will do a great job keeping the thriving Latino community of Alaska in check,” read a press release issued Thursday by Cecilia Jones, the president of National Organization for Minorities, Advertisements, Media Exposure and Symbolism. “And that especially goes for your drug-dealing border-crossing tat-wearing illegal alien Democrat voters!”
Mas…Alaskans praise candidate who will save us from illegals with tats
Oklahoma GOP uses jumping bean in a sombrero on fundraising flyer
Come for the (Mexican jumping) “GOP Bean Feed,” read the Oklahoma Republican Party fundraising flyer, and maybe you’ll stay for the KKK lecture. No offense, though.
Oklahoma democrats were shocked to see the crude racially charged image of a Mexican jumping bean on a GOP fundraising flyer for governor Mary Fallin which claimed to have information about the KKK.
In fact, many had assumed this was a hoax or a parody.
Mas…Oklahoma GOP uses jumping bean in a sombrero on fundraising flyer
End of a Bromance: ‘Tear Drops for Eric Cantor’ by John Boehner
Speaker of the House John Boehner has the sad now that his GOP bromantic buddy Majority Leader Eric Cantor is stepping down. What’s that? Water gushing from Boehner’s ojos? Elise Roedenbeck’s musical dramatization is called Tear Drops for Eric Cantor.
Political Science: How a bill becomes a law (toons, video)
Last week, the Republican-uncontrolled House of Representatives failed to pass a minimal spending bill to help with the unexpected crush of Central American refugees, adjourned, and then reconvened to approve a mean-spirited barebones measure that also would reverse President Obama’s DACA relief for DREAMers, and worse. Then they adjourned again.
Of course, the bill has no chance of passage in the Senate, let alone getting a Presidential signature.
Their obstructionist mission accomplished, the do-nothing pendejos left town for their summer hideouts in the rich white safety of their home districts.
Their Tea Party-twisted debates, however, left a lingering aroma over Capitol Hill, and it wasn’t Laspang Souchong.
SPOILER ALERT: The aroma was SHIT.
Mas…Political Science: How a bill becomes a law (toons, video)
NPR: Who are the refugee kids at the border? (audio, video)
Researcher Elizabeth Kennedy interviewed a 12-year-old boy who returned to El Salvador barefoot; he had been robbed of everything he owned.
"I asked him if he was going to try again," says Kennedy, "and he just burst into tears and said, 'What would you do if you were me? I haven't seen my mom or my dad in 10 years ... and no one here loves me.'"
Since October, a staggering 57,000 unaccompanied migrant children have been apprehended at the southwestern U.S. border. Sometimes, they’ve been welcomed into the country by activists; other times they’ve been turned away by protesters.
Mas…NPR: Who are the refugee kids at the border? (audio, video)
Stop the gay Muslim Chinese terrorist illegal aliens! (video)
Conservatives explain how gays, Muslims, Mexicans and President Obama are all working together to destroy the moral fabric of America. Video’d at an anti-immigration protest in Houston, pro-immigration supporters also chime in while dancing.
Gov. Rick Perry orders troops to the border, Texans react (photo)
As Texas Gov. Rick Perry mobilizes the National Guard to patrol the border and protect America from helpless fleeing single mothers and child refugees, his fellow Texans aren’t shy about sharing their love.
PREVIOUSLY ON RICK PERRY:
Mas…Gov. Rick Perry orders troops to the border, Texans react (photo)
Stephen Colbert: I pity the poor immigrants (video)
Whatever it is these poor kid refugees are fleeing — Honduras, El Salvador, Guatemala, El Diablo — Stephen Colbert pities them. But not too much.
Jon Stewart re kids on the border: ‘WTF is wrong with you?’ (video)
Why the kidsplosion on the border? Jon Stewart has the sad, and then explains why haters gonna hate. Spoiler: They’re haters.
John Oliver: Immigrants are just all right with me (NSFW video)
Foreigner John Oliver (formerly of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and currently fronting Last Week Tonight) has been through the immigration system, and he has some advice for the GOP. (NSFW language.)
Texas Governor Perry ‘outraged’ at deportation center photos
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Texas Governor Rick Perry was “outraged” after seeing leaked photos of crowded child detainees at the U.S. Border Patrol Detention center in Brownsville, PNS has learned.
“The kind of sloppy detention seen in those photos is a clear waste of space as well as taxpayer dollars,” Perry said in an email sent to aides Monday night.
Perry thinks the centers could squeeze in more detainees using the “tight pack” system long advocated by GOP lobbyist John E. Rebb.
Mas…Texas Governor Perry ‘outraged’ at deportation center photos
Back from the dead and running for Congress, it’s Cesar Chavez!
(PNS reporting from TUCSON) Cesar Chavez — noted American farm worker, labor leader and civil rights activist — is back from the dead and running for the congressional seat being vacated by retiring Rep. Ed Pastor (D-AZ).
“I will do just about anything to win in Arizona’s heavily Hispanic 7th Congressional District,” Chavez said in a press release, “including rising from the grave if that’s what it takes.”
A Chavez spokesman said the newly-registered Democratic candidate (until recently a two-time Republican loser) had been “flooded with calls” and was no longer speaking to the press, but if he did decide to answer questions, he would not discuss how he came back from the dead or what the afterlife is like.
Mas…Back from the dead and running for Congress, it’s Cesar Chavez!
National Poetry Month: ‘Obama Shoulda Seen This’ (NSFW video, photos)
National Poetry Month means — to us — poems by and for the people, like Jesús Iñiguez with his poem about immigration. Spoiler alert — Iñiguez is not exactly happy with Administration policies and questions President Obama’s legacy. [NSFW “F-bomb.”]
Post by Jesús Iñiguez.
More from the Obama Legacy blog:
Mas…National Poetry Month: ‘Obama Shoulda Seen This’ (NSFW video, photos)
Texas GOP politician’s Tweet makes him ‘Pendejo of the Month’
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Texas State Senator Dan Patrick, a Republican Lieutenant Governor wannabe, was named Pendejo of the Month Wednesday by the American Pochismo Institute (API.) The award followed his Univision debate Tuesday with San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro (photo.)
API’s designation, which is usually not revealed until the end of the month, was awarded Wednesday to Patrick for actions “Above And Beyond the Call of Douchery” after Patrick sent this Tweet Tuesday evening about how much he loves “Hispanics:”
Mas…Texas GOP politician’s Tweet makes him ‘Pendejo of the Month’
Sen. Ted Cruz hates avocados (allegedly) and Pocho Ocho other things
Tea Partier Ted Cruz, the Canadian United States Senator (R-TX), hates avocados, the fruit of a tree native to Mexico and Central America, classified in the flowering plant family Lauraceae along with cinnamon, camphor and bay laurel.
We just learned from a blog post that this Canuckian “public servant” allegedly confessed his shameful prejudice in an interview last October, but sometime since then, the original evidence mysteriously disappeared.
(Crack Malaysian detectives are investigating the disappearance.)
Of course, this Grand Old Pendejo official has many other skeletors in his closet — the Pocho Ocho Other Things Sen. Ted Cruz Hates Besides Avocados:
8. LIFE cereal.
7. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
6. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Mas…Sen. Ted Cruz hates avocados (allegedly) and Pocho Ocho other things
One Canadian’s Opinion: Sen. Ted Cruz for President (video)
Cuban-Canadian-American Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) is the best man for the next President of the United States, you Yankee hosers. With Sarah Palin as VP.
PREVIOUSLY ON TED CRUZ:
Mas…One Canadian’s Opinion: Sen. Ted Cruz for President (video)
