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Artist Ingrid Cruz writes, “I’m working on a series of them. I hope to complete the other 52 before November 6.”
- RELATED: Voteria Cards by Lalo Alcaraz
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Ñewsweek: Meet Princess Malinche, beat the Gap, Fidel’s not dead
Sofia the First, Disney’s new animated princess is a Latina, hooray! Wait, she’s not a Latina? Well, then who is Disney’s Latina princess? Princess Malinche, you say? Orale!
Another ñewsweek at POCHO meant princesses, the Gap’s taste in t-shirts, Mitt’s taste in short shorts, Fidel Castro is still not dead, Donald Trump is still a jerk and more.
The links:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Meet Princess Malinche, beat the Gap, Fidel’s not dead
Mitt Romney’s Cayman Islands hot tub house party (NSFW video)
Mitt is the MC with the moneh, byotch! (NSFW at all.)
Your Mitt Romney Spanish TV bronzer makeup tutorial (video)
It’s not easy being brown, as Mitt Romney’s Univision appearance demonstrated. Here’s the right way to get brown with la gente. Attention white people: This is a super idea for that special hot date not to mention Halloween!
Mas…Your Mitt Romney Spanish TV bronzer makeup tutorial (video)
GOP’s new app suppresses minority voters automagically (NSFW video)
Why worry about sending bogus mailers and erecting hateful billboards to suppress poor, minority, elderly and student voters? The Republican National Committee’s VoteRite app makes it easy! iPhone and Android compatible. (NSFW language.)
Hey Donald Trump: Where is your college yearbook photo?
We have a question for Donald Trump:
Where is your 1968 college graduation photo? It’s not in your college yearbook, the University of Pennsylvania Record.
You’ve written that you were “very glad to get finished.” Too busy for a senior photo?
The Record also notes the Celebrity Apprentice performer comes from someplace called “Jamaica” in New York State, which doesn’t sound very American.
Come clean, Donald: Did you really graduate like you claim? And if you did, where is your photo? How about a diploma?
Otherwise, you’re fired!
Romney is out of the closet and into the polling booth, girls (photos)
Mitt camps it up in this high school yearbook photo.
And in this photo taken after the first debate:
Mas…Romney is out of the closet and into the polling booth, girls (photos)
Gov. Willard ‘Mitt’ Romney according to The New York Times (photo)
“At his worst, Mr. Romney sounded like a beauty pageant contestant groping for an answer to the final question…” –Editorial, The New York Times.
Paul Rodriguez Spanish ad for Romney now in English (video)
Mexican-born (just like his BFF’s dad!) actor and comedian Paul Rodriguez wants Latinos to vote for Gov. Mitt Romney in November and recorded 60 seconds of audio (below) to explain why. No habla Espanish? No problemo! We made this video with English titles so you can follow along.
Background footage via the Occupy Wall Street Archive.
Radioambulante: When Lalo invented ‘Self Deportation’ (audio)
Lalo Alcaraz AKA Daniel D. Portado invented Self Deportation as a joke in 1994, and now it’s part of Gov. Mitt Romney’s platform. Nancy Lopez interviewed the Jefe-in-Chief for Radioambulante.
Exclusive: Obama preps ‘zingers’ for debate with Romney (photo)
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Pres. Barack Obama, stung by criticism of his lackluster performance in the first debate, is hard at work prepping for tonight’s encounter with Gov. Mitt Romney. Sources tell PNS that First Lady Michelle Obama is helping out with flashcards of “zingers” and furnished this exclusive photo.
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
Letter from Ex-MRS. POCHO: ‘All employees must vote for Romney’
Dear Employees of Pochismo, Inc.:
As most of you know, the company continues to grow in spite of the half-assed crap job you do. However, I can’t really expect you to be good at anything, considering my huevon ex-husband, MR. POCHO, is your boss. A piñata has better leadership skills than him. That is why I am taking the initiative to educate you about the upcoming election.
Currently, your lack of talent poses no threat to your job status. What does pose a threat is another four years of the Obamanation Administration.
Having been awarded a substantial portion of POCHO stock as part of our divorce settlement, I have a great interest in your financial well-being. MR. POCHO and I started this company almost 11 months ago and even though I am heiress to the Jupína soda fortune, I have put my duties of exotic travel and party-time debauchery on hold in order to focus on POCHO’s growth.
Mas…Letter from Ex-MRS. POCHO: ‘All employees must vote for Romney’
Rosie Perez to Romney: Being a Latina is SO much easier! (video)
Dear Governor Romney: You were so totally right about how much easier it would be if you were a Latino. Even luckier, a Latina with a vagina!
Did you like this video? We sure do! Pero k lastima, so many people came to see it this morning our servers crashed. We need more and better gear. Can you help POCHO make and serve up more ñews y satire with a contribution? Read our clever pitch and kick in $10 or $20 if you can. ¡Gracias!
Toke the Vote urges big turnout for Tuesday Presidential election
(PNS reporting from OAKLAND) “Are you planning on voting Tuesday, brah?” Dale Mendoza scrunched his eyes shut behind his dark sunglasses as he concentrated on his phone call with a potential voter in Arkansas.
“This election is critical, OK, and we totally need your vote.” Mendoza (photo, left) was the team leader of two dozen phone bank volunteers in a basement office in this Northern California city, possible the country’s most pot-friendly municipality.
The smoke-filled room is a California outpost of Toke the Vote, a coalition of pro-marijuana political activists backed by the Zig-Zag cigarette papers company and ConAgra’s Screaming Yellow Zonkers snack products.
Mas…Toke the Vote urges big turnout for Tuesday Presidential election
Ñewsweek: Obama speaks Spanish, Cesar y Hugo Chavez, angry Chicana
There he goes again, that esneaky Barack Obama appealing to voters in a foreign language! For real Americans (who only speak English), we’ve translated his latest commercial so you can understand exactly where this vato is coming from. Sorry, we said “vato.”
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, as both Cesar y Hugo Chavez made the headlines. The official National Monument to civil rights hero Cesar Chavez was dedicated in Kern County by El Presidente (POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz was there with his family and a camera) and Iran-loving commie dictator Hugo Chavez got reelected and then endorsed Obama.
And in San Francisco’s Mission District, one angry Chicana was not at all happy with her vida loca and wrote all about it. These are the stories that broke the ñews this week on POCHO:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Obama speaks Spanish, Cesar y Hugo Chavez, angry Chicana
Bain Capital’s Mal*Mart gives back to local communities (video)
This short educational video from Mal★Mart (a Bain Capital subsidiary) explains how the retail chain is a good neighbor, supporting local communities and creating jobs all across America — with a smile. The case study features Latina entrepreneur Maria Muñoz of Maria’s Flan.
Ñewsweek: Romney rocked, America crocked, FDR shocked
It’s Mitt Romney’s world, and we just live in it.
This ñewsweek the GOP presidential wannabe filled up POCHO’s infotainment bandwidth with debate shenanigans, Big Bird bashing, Latino-loving at Chipotle and a new commercial shot on Los Angeles’ Olvera Street.
Reaction from around the country included emergency rooms overflowing with debate drinking game alcohol poisoning cases, the previously dead Franklin Delano Roosevelt rising from grave and making a YouTube appearance, y mas mas more.
The most popular stories this week:
Forget Big Bird! Meet Señor Loro, the Latino parrot candidate (video)
From Los Titeres (the puppets): Don’t waste your vote on the phony mainstream yellow bird candidate until you consider wasting your vote on the Puppet Party’s Latino red parrot candidate — Señor Loro for Presidente! (Borderline NSFW language and a disturbing bird bigote.)
Video by Felix Pire. LosTiteresTV is on Facebook and on the Internets.
–Freelancer Junior Wences PhD writes by hand.
Pocho Ocho moderators we’d like to see at the next debate
With complaints about debate moderator Jim Lehrer’s stupid questions and complete lack of huevos filling the mediascape, we came up with a list of the Pocho Ocho moderators we’d like to see at the next debate:
8. Machete
7. The Wu-Tang Clan
6. Paul Mooney
5. Andrew Dice Clay
Mas…Pocho Ocho moderators we’d like to see at the next debate
@MexicanMitt Romney: I’m prepped y ready for Debate Number Juan
I AM TANNED, RESTED AND READY. AND MORE TANNED.
AJUA! I have been preparing all night for my debate against BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA. Tonight there will be A LOT OF JUAN ON JUAN MASTERDEBATING. I will right ALL THE LEFT-LEANING POLLS with my victory!
I will completely dominate, not LIKE A BOSS, but LIKE A CEO. I want you to take a break from your MOOCHING and FREELOADING to watch me mop up the floor with Obama like I was one of ANN’s FEARFUL SERVANTS.
HERMAN CAIN did not work out as OBAMA DEBATE STAND-IN (all his answers were “NINE NINE NINE”) SO NOW I PRACTICE AGAINST A CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF URKEL.
Mas…@MexicanMitt Romney: I’m prepped y ready for Debate Number Juan
BFFs Mitt, Darryl visit Latino sites for Hispanic Heritage Month (photos)
They hooked up Tuesday when the candidate visited a Denver-area Chipotle.
Then GOP presidential candidate and Latino-lover Mitt Romney and new BFF Darryl went on a bromance tour of other important Latino institutions to mark Hispanic Heritage Month, as seen in this photo of their visit to Sophia Vergara’s breasts. (She recently described her chi-chis as a “pain in the ass.“)
Inspired by Vergara, the duo made a few more estops:
Mas…BFFs Mitt, Darryl visit Latino sites for Hispanic Heritage Month (photos)
As predicted, Romney does it gangnam style (NSFW video)
With some reports showing Gov. Mitt Romney’s support is lagging with younger voters, the candidate decided he’d join the gangnam style video parody crowd. (NSFW language.)
Latino-lover Romney visits a Chipotle store for a photo opportunity
Latino-loving GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney stopped by a Denver Chipotle outlet for a photo-opportunity today. What’s for lonche, Mitt?
- MORE PHOTOS LIKE THIS: BFFs Mitt, Darryl visit Latino sites for Hispanic Heritage Month (photos)
Romney campaign’s latest commercial shot on Olvera Street (video)
Gov. Mitt Romney reaches out to Latino voters in this new Hispanic Heritage Month commercial filmed in downtown Los Angeles’ historic Olvera Street neighborhood.
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