Guanajuato, MX attorney Antonio Battaglia says Trump toilet paper will be in stores before the end of the year, and 30% of the profits will go to groups that support migrants, according to CNN Mexican affiliate Expansion.
The lawyer registered the trademark in 2015.
PREVIOUSLY ON PAPEL HIGIÉNICO:
Mas…Coming soon! Wipe your butt with Trump papel higiénico, help migrants
A shoe manufacturing firm in Leon, Guanajuato, says that “leather” made from fish skin is a viable alternative to leather made from the skin of endangered reptiles. We’re just wondering if there are enough suitable fish for the production lines to scale.
(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Solar-powered mariachis have begun coming off production lines here in the high tech manufacturing city of Guanajuato, Mexico, musical soldiers in the war on climate change.
The eco-friendly musicians use renewable energy from the sun instead of traditional musical fuels like frijoles, tacos y cerveza, all of which produce the damaging “greenhouse gas” behind global warming.
The solar-powered trio – maracas, trumpet, and guitar – were recently spotted playing an unpublicized gig at a 99 Cents Only store in the Houston, Texas area, according to Juan of Words, who took the photo above.
YouTuber David Diaz spotted another trio dancing silently in a letterbox, and added his own music:
Mas…Can solar-powered mariachis replace bean-powered mariachis?
Botas picudas (pointy boots) and shitty “tribal” music are the highlights of this campaign video for candidato del PAN Diego Leyva por el distrito 1 en Guanajuato.
PREVIOUSLY ON GUANAJUATO:
Mas…Mexican candidate in pointy boots dances in campaign video
Cheering throngs in the Mexican city of Leon, Guanajuato, set a new Guinness world record Saturday as 4,334 simultaneous “geysers” erupted, caused by combining Mentos breath mints with Diet Coke. The previous record was 2,865 diurnal emissions, set in the Philippines.
(GUANAJUATO, MEXICO) iJuanCo, creator of iJuan, the first smartphone app to directly match day laborers and potential bosses, has secured a $3.5 million dollar investment from venture capital fund XS Dinero, iJuanCo company president Grito Del Toro announced here today.
Day laborers using the app will be able to register their schedules, skill set and service areas via iJuan, saving potential employers the hassle of cruising to Home Depot to hire workers while lessening the need for trabajeros to chase patrons’ trokas around the parking lot.
Mas…iJuan, smartphone app for day labor, scores $3,500,000 investment
(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Trash collectors in the high-technology “Silicon Barrio” here have perfected a new technique for picking up basura that is greener and faster than traditional methods.
As this demo video shows, drivers in León never stop and re-start their trucks — which would mean wasted fuel and extra airborne pollution. Instead, they rely on inertia to keep the trucks on the route and advanced ballistics to perfect the trajectories that move the soft trash containers into the truck’s cavernous interior with a minimum of effort.
Mas…Mexican garbage men perfect low-impact trash collection (video)
Armadillo Motors has begun production and sales of the very first hecho en Mexico electric vehicle, La Hybridus, a bicicleta electrica. And it looks from the company’s Facebook page that they’ve got some local police departments on the delivery list:
(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Hundreds of competitors and an equal number of spectators are expected for the opening of the first Xochitl Games here tomorrow.
The so-called “Indigenous Olympics,” organized by the Nahuatl Athletic Council Organization (NACO), hopes to share some of the buzz from the regular Winter Olympics, in Sochi.
NACO is especially counting on people who are unsure how to spell the name of the Black Sea resort city in the Google search window, or even better, can’t spell when booking airplane and hotel reservations through Travelocity.
Mas…Breaking: Hundreds expected Friday at Mexico’s Xochitl Games
(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Researchers at Guanajuato University of Technology (GUT) have confirmed that beans (frijoles) are not only one of the oldest and best sources for protein in the Americas, but that they are indeed “a magical fruit.”
“Beans are one of the gifts from the New World to the rest of us,” lead researcher Dr. Germán Gutiérrez told a press conference here Tuesday. “They supply magical sounds, as well as protein and lots of fiber.”
Mas…New study: Beans (frijoles) are indeed ‘the magical fruit’
To be a Chipster (Chicano + Hipster) is not a destination, but a journey, and seekers must never rest. These are the Pocho Ocho Chipster New Year’s Resolutions our readers shared with us:
8. Despite the Indio heritage that gives me a sparse Fu Manchu facial hair configuration, I resolve to grow a Chente-strength bigote in 2014.
7. Nopalitos every day keeps the doctor away.
6. Repeat after me: Tenochtitlan, not panocha flan.
Mas…Survey says? Pocho Ocho top Chipster New Year’s Resolutions
(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) State-of-the-art leaf blower technology developed in Mexico’s Silicon Barrio is at the heart the Pentagon’s latest robot warrior, PNS has learned.
The PopoPotencia leaf blower engine powers the WildCat, a Boston Dynamics combat robot (video) built for the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA).
Mas…Advanced Mexican leaf blower powers new Pentagon/Google robot
(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Francisco Garcia Lopez was named Most Mexican Man in the World in the final episode of Who Is More Mexican ? (¿Quién es más mexicano?) recorded here last night, PNS has learned.
Audience members exiting the taping at Teatro Televisio said that winner Lopez (publicity photo, above) had impressed the judges with his singular dedication.
Lopez, a 37-year-old bachelor attorney, “underwent extreme body modification, all the way down to his prickly pear,” one excited fan gushed.
Mas…Francisco Garcia Lopez wins ‘Most Mexican Man in the World’
(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Not to be outdone by Space X founder Elon Musk’s proposed high speed “Hyperloop” rail system, a Mexican engineer has plans to commercialize his country’s high speed travel infrastructure, a proprietary closed system that has been in operation for years.
Researchers and engineers in this high tech city in Mexico’s Silicon Barrio are not impressed with Musk’s Hyperloop, a system of people-sized pods that move through a network of air-free tubes built over or under the ground at speeds of up to 800 MPH.
“We have had almost the same method of transportation a very long time, so I do not understand what the big deal is,” Universidad de Guanajuato Prof. Carlos Sagañez told PNS Tuesday.
Mas…Mexican scientist reveals underground high speed travel system
NBC reports that El Pato Salsa Picante has been withdrawn from the American market because tests found it was contaminated with lead. El Pato is just one of several Mexican salsa brands that contain the poisonous substance, according to scientists at the University of Nevada Las Vegas.
Of course, there’s no way lead is the only nasty in these little bottles. And sure enough — buried in footnotes at the bottom of the report — are the Pocho Ocho OTHER sketchy substances in Mexican hot sauce:
8. The average Cholula bottle contains 10 micrograms per deciliter of the “Bacillus Botas Picudas”, an organic pathogen thought to be behind the craving for pointy boots.
7. Habaneros chiles may be the top ingredient in El Yucateco Salsa Picante de Chile Habanero, but lurking at the bottom of the list are 8.8 micrograms per deciliter of “Barba Habanera,” said to be a homeopathic solution of hair scraped from Comrade Fidel’s razor.
Mas…Pocho Ocho sketchy substances in Mexican hot sauce besides lead
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(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Previously-secret startup MasaTek.com today unveiled a hardware/software combo that uses 3D printing to print corn or flour tortillas with the religious or brand image of your choice.
“The waiting is over!” Carlos Molinero, president of the Silicio Barrio company, told reporters here. “You need Jesus? He’s just a click away. La Virgen is always on deck!”
The WiFi-enabled printer is the size of a small microwave and has a hopper on top for masa. It uses open source 3D software, Molinero said, and is easily addressable with standard CAD tools.
Mas…Breaking: Silicio Barrio startup demos 3D tortilla printer
(PNS reporting from VATICAN CITY) Retiring Pope Benedict XVI is ditching the traditional red slippers (he wears size VIII) when he leaves the papacy and is switching to pointy boots (botas picudas) he got in Mexico, according to news reports.
Chicago’s La Raza (via Google Translate) has the story:
Pope loves shoes that gave her artisans in Mexico in March 2012 during his apostolic visit to the State of Guanajuato and considers them so comfortable that continue to use even after his resignation.
During a press conference the spokesman of the headquarters of the Catholic Church, Federico Lombardi, confirmed that from next Thursday, February 28 at 20:00 local time (19:00 GMT), the pontiff will no longer use the traditional colored shoes Red.
Mas…Pope to ditch red slippers on retirement, switch to botas picudas