hate

Pleased as ponche, Tres Flores triplets give company to workers

by

(PNS reporting from ALTADENA) Pleased with the reelection of the President, thrilled to provide Obamacare for their employees and acknowledging their loyal workers built a small family firm into a billion-dollar corporation, the three siblings who own the Tres Flores Corporation are giving their company to their staff.

Abelardo, Bernardo and Chichi Flor — 83-year-old triplets who gave Tres Flores their name — started bottling home-made hair oil in a garage in this L.A. suburb over 50 years ago. Tres Flores is now a worldwide operation that employes 600 people and has facilities in Southern California, Louisiana and New Jersey.

“We’re retiring and we don’t have any heirs,” oldest triplet Abelardo (born 20 minutes before brother Bernardo) told a press conference this morning. “We’ve been approached to sell the firm, but we couldn’t think of anyone better to run it than the folks who have been with us all these years.”

“Shaddap, Lardo,” Bernardo responded. “I would have an heir if you hadn’t scared away Selena Valderrama with that Migra Maus costume on Halloween in 1974!”

Mas…Pleased as ponche, Tres Flores triplets give company to workers

Cilantro haters, come out of the closet! You were born this way

by

Cilantro is a key ingredient in Mexican cooking. The herb flavors Thai and Indian and Middle Eastern food too. But some people just can’t stand it and insist it smells/tastes like soap and looks “green as old vomit.”

You people — it’s OK. You can come out of the comida closet now. You were born this way.

From Nature.com:

A genetic survey of nearly 30,000 people posted to the preprint server arXiv.org this week has identified two genetic variants linked to perception of coriander, the most common of which is in a gene involved in sensing smells. Two unpublished studies also link several other variants in genes involved in taste and smell to the preference.

Mas…Cilantro haters, come out of the closet! You were born this way

Ñewsweek: Driving while fluffy, yo quiero taxes, Pro Tips for Latinos

by

The Hate State of Arizona retained its leading position as the most anti-Latino state in the country as the witchy bitchy governor, Jan Brewer, decided that DREAMERS who apply for Deferred Action should be denied state service like drivers’ licenses.

Also in Arizona, husky humorist Gabriel Iglesias’ tour bus got pulled over for a papers check.  In Texas, a humble farmworker released his income tax returns and asked GOP nominee wannabe Mitt Romney to do the same and POCHO offered Pro Tips for Latinos working in The Office.

These were the stories that broke the ñews this week:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Driving while fluffy, yo quiero taxes, Pro Tips for Latinos

AZ Gov. Jan Brewja OKs curbs on undocumented youth, apples, twigs

by

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer (photo, right) has signed an executive order directing state agencies to deny driver’s licenses and other public benefits to young undocumented immigrants who obtain work authorizations under the new Obama administration Deferred Action program.

She also signed executive orders dealing with undocumented children and other matters:

Joe the Plumber: Shoot the damn Canucks and ask questions later!

by

(PNS reporting from the HATE STATE OF ARIZONA) Samuel Wurzelbacher – known to most Americans as simply “Joe the Plumber” or “dumbass” – made an recent appearance at a fundraiser for Republican Arizona State Senator candidate Lori Klein and shocked the audience by telling them that the way to solve the country’s illegal Canadian immigration problem is to station troops along the northern border and have them “start shooting the damn snowbacks.”

“For years I’ve said, you know, put a damn fence on the border going to Canada and start shooting. I’m running for Congress and that should be a bad thing to say. But you know what, it’s how I feel…I want my borders protected, I’m very, very adamant about that. I’m sick of these snowbacks sneaking in here illegally!” Wurzelbacher said.

Mas…Joe the Plumber: Shoot the damn Canucks and ask questions later!

PochoCast #3: Alcaraz and Madrigal on tacos and art and identity

by
How many Kinkade 'art' stores near you? Al Madrigal finds there's an app for that

POCHO Jefe-in-Chief  Lalo Alcaraz gets Migrant Editor Al Madrigal on Skype to talk about the art and death of Thomas Kinkade and the Pew Hispanic identity survey (Latino? Hispanic? Mexican?)

¡Ask A Mexican! Gustavo Arellano phones in to discuss his delicious new book Taco USA and producer Marcelo Ziperovich wonders if he’s a “white Hispanic” like you know who.

Oh! The laughs we had.  Those were the days my friend, I thought they’d never end. Is this thing still on?

Faux Kinkade by Mariner1.

Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Pocho Ocho unsolved mysteries

by

Now that  Sheriff Joe Arpaio has evidence there’s something uppity with Pres. Barack Obama’s birth certificate, what’s next on his unsolved mysteries list?

8.  Star Trek crewmen in red shirts who die early in the episode are also wearing pink chonies, but the Liberal Hollywood Establishment covers this up.

7. Every time you install a solar energy panel, a Texas oilman dies.

6.  Wonder Bread actually builds bodies in 11 different ways but they won’t tell you that because those people want you to eat bread with stuff in it, like grains.

Mas…Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Pocho Ocho unsolved mysteries

Meet the Latinos who love Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio

by

On Sunday, newsman Jorge Ramos confronted Sheriff Joe Arpaio on Univision’s Al Punto and told Joe he was the face of racism to U.S. Latinos.

The much-maligned Maricopa County cop wouldn’t have any of that. “How do you know they don’t like me?” he asked. “They love me!”

It’s really true, because we found a lot of Latino love for Sheriff Joe Arpaio everywhere we asked.

Mas…Meet the Latinos who love Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio

Ñewsweek: Lalo the valet, the gay GOP sheriff, fishsticks and boobs

by

There’s a fine line between truth and satire, a twisty maze of passageways, all alike. POCHO was doing that line dance all week with these stories:

Hate immigrants? Love homemade bombs? Come to Kansas!

by
Also questioned and released: Sacco (left) and Vanzetti

(PNS reporting from TOPEKA) Are you angry? Is your ugly truck plastered with bigoted stickers? Do you have homemade explosives at home and in your vehicle? Are you a  veteran who hates immigrants and anyone who “no-speako-the-English?”

No problemo, amigo! Come to Topeka, KS where you can park your truck full of homemade explosives next to a government building and the police will look the other way!

That’s right, friend – you can build all the homemade bombs you want (now with deadly shrapnel!) pile them in your beat-up truck and bring ‘em on down to the Kansas State building for a Ka-booming good time! Yes, you can be just like Timothy McVeigh and plot endless schemes of domestic terrorism and the cops in Kansas will just shrug their shoulders say, “Whoops…”

Mas…Hate immigrants? Love homemade bombs? Come to Kansas!

Mexico issues travel warning for Los United Estates

by
L.A. jails Chicanos on the slightest pretext

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) In the widest travel advisory since the Zoot Suit Riots of the 1940s, the Mexican government is recommending that Mexicans avoid travel to all or parts of the United States of America.

Mexico’s State Department has warned against any nonessential travel in all of California, Arizona, Texas and New Mexico as well as the entire South, including Florida.

The advisory issued Tuesday note that Mexican citizens have been victims of offically-sanctioned governmental racism, including scapegoating, false statistics and Jim Crow-era laws. It is the first time the Mexican government listed advisories for the entire United States.

Mas…Mexico issues travel warning for Los United Estates

+ Load More Posts