The Indian Store has everything the White Man needs — dream catchers, spirit animals, books on coyotes and WiFi signal boosters. [F-bombs.] Video by the 1491s.
Previously on the 1491s:
Mas…Welcome to the Indian Store – Dream Catchers are on sale today (video)
Twenty-one years ago Public Enemy‘s epic By the Time I Get to Arizona spotlighted the Hate State of Arizona’s failure to implement the Martin Luther King Day holiday.
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America will pause Monday to remember the life and message of Ricky Martin Luther King Jr., whose Tengo a Dream y Dance! speech changed the nation forever.
Post offices and other public facilities will be closed, banks and stock exchanges take the day off and salsa picante and sweet potato pie – his favorite snack combo – are on sale all across America. Today would have been RMLK’s 34th birthday.
Despite his tragic death in 2007 (he was shot and killed by the president of his fan club before an appearance in Dallas) King’s promotion of “love, equality, justice, innocence, malice, refuge, oppression, freedom” has continued to resonate among confused Latinos and Anglos alike.
Mas…America to pause Monday for Ricky Martin Luther King Jr. Day 2014
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up! On vocals, Mountain Chief of the Blackfoot.
Mas…Know your cultural history? What’s wrong with these pictures?
See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago?
We’ve got eight things right here:
8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date
7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly
6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Naco Bell
Happy Day of the Dead! Is Tia Lencha here. Many people ask me questions about Dia de Los Muertos. I answer the questions today.
Question numero one: Tia Lencha wass this Dia de los Muertos? Is it the Mexican Halloween?
Gwell, kind of, I say. Except that the Day of the Dead celebrations come from the indigenous pagan rituals that trace back 2,500 to 3,000 years ago. Way before Duane Reade sold Halloween candy.
Question numero two: Tia Lencha, wassup with the calaveras (“skulls” for you pochos)?
Bueno, before Jesus came along, people used to keep skulls of their loved ones (and maybe not so loved ones) as trophies. They showed off the skulls during the rituals as symbols of death and rebirth. Kind of heavy, no? I never say my history was all tequila shots and tacos.
Also, calaveras can be short poems, like epitaphs like to mock your friends. Like you can make fun of them on their tombstones. Like for mijo’s daddy, I wrote a calavera about him call “Oscar Meyer” because he like to stick his weenie ebrywhere! He no think it was so funny.
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina explains El Dia de Los Muertos for you pochos
You never know what kind of curiosity you’ll see on on Antique Appraisals! This video was written and directed by none other than Lalo Alcaraz’s pal and fellow cartoonist, the multi-talented Keef Knight.
When it comes to Hispanic Heritage, there’s nothing like Ye Olde Mexicanne Hatte Dance. And it’s so nice to have a complete dance band hanging around the old adobe!
Quickdraw McGraw El Kabong saves the day and Popeye El Marinero goes to Mexico, next, on POCHO:
Mas…Hispanic Heritage Videos: Popeye, Mexican Hat Dance, El Kabong
Hispanics across the United Estates are giddy with excitement as they prepare to observe Hispanic Heritage Month 2013, which starts in 10 days.
But with so much excitement, it’s easy to forget the fundamentals of this Federally-established fiesta.
¡Mira! A checklist! Here are the Pocho Ocho ways to prepare for Hispanic Heritage Month:
8. Reset your calendar so months begin on 15th
7. Purchase and enjoy all 57 bean varieties from Hispanic comida conglomerate Goya
6. Grow a luxurious mustache — you too, mujeres!
(PNS reporting from TUCSON) The Tucson Independent School District’s high school history classes will drop all references to Spanish conquistadores when discussing the history of North America before English pilgrims came to the U.S.
Instead, the district’s teachers will focus on more “American” historical figures, such as Englishman John Smith, School Board Chair Kyle Brown told a meeting of the group Tuesday evening.
“Arizona is part of America, and so we don’t want to give our kids any ideas about America being Spanish, or associated with illegal Spaniards,” Brown explained.
Mas…Arizona schools remove ‘illegal Spaniards’ from high school curriculum
All that stuff they teach in history about Europe’s so-called Age of Discovery turns out to be Eurocentric racist mythmaking, once you subtract places that couldn’t be “discovered” because there were already humans living there.
Mas…POCHO History 101: Actual European ‘discoveries’ in one handy map
(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY, D.F.) Mexico’s largest and longest-flying airline announced today that it is undergoing a complete corporate makeover.
Aeromexico Chief of Communications Rigoberto Saenz Bolillo explained in this statement:
We are going through a rebranding, and we are shedding our old name Aeromexico, and our logo, which evokes an Aztec Eagle warrior flying through the air. A flying Indio was frightening to the new type of upscale passenger we are going after, and that is why Aeromexico will now be known as GueroMexico.
Bolillo added:
Our MiJA Elise Roedenbeck aka Valderrama hits the streets of Miami to find out what your average Floridian knows about July 4, Independence Day. Special appearance by Thomas Jefferson courtesy ThreeFifthsofAPerson.info.us. You can follow Elise on the Twitter, where she is known to her minions as BUTTRONICA.
(PNS reporting from QUITO) You don’t have to be an accused rapist hiding from the Swedish police like Julian Assange or an alleged spy like Edward Snowden to consider asylum in the República del Ecuador.
That’s the message of the new Do Ecuador marketing campaign from Ecuador’s Ministry of Tourism, which was announced in this high-altitude capital city Monday.
“There are only 15 million of us here in a country that covers 109,000 square miles, so come on down!” gasping-for-breath State Secretary for Tourism Gandalfo Gordo explained between hits of oxygen at a press conference in the newly-remodeled Safe House Hotel, formerly El Motel Seis.
Mas…Accused rapist? Fugitive spy? Ask your travel agent to ‘Do Ecuador’
(PNS reporting from BELIZE CITY) The Nohmul complex, an ancient Mayan pyramid in the north of this Central American country, was recently bulldozed by a local contractor who used the crushed rock to “fill” a road. Nohmul was utilized as a ceremonial center 2,300 years ago.
After public outcry from archaeologists, local authorities said they would investigate the demolition.
Belize real estate attorney Alejandro Bolsa de Duchez defended the destruction:
Mas…Breaking: Ancient Mayan pyramid foreclosed on, demolished
An Open Letter to the Denver Public Library Commission:
I am writing in response to the so-called “ire” that was reported in the Denver Post regarding the new West Denver library being named after Rodolfo Corky Gonzales.
I am an author/publisher and a Denver native. I am also Chicano. My roots in Denver run deep and though I may live far from the Mile High City now, Denver will always be home.
How can one convey to you in such a limited space how iconic Gonzales is? The man is legend, not just in Colorado but nationally. Though the Chicano/a movement is not what it used to be in Denver, its roots are still there. There are those who would balk at this library – those who would like nothing more than to wipe Corky’s memory from the history books, just as they are trying to do with our books and history in Arizona, despite the fact that these things are as American as anything else. Ignorance speaks volumes.
White folks in sombreros and serapes. Spanglish beer commercials every few minutes. Yup, pretty ridiculous, señor.
I agree with most of my friend Gustavo Arellano’s roiling denunciation of Cinco de Mayo, mas o menos.
He says it’s ridiculous, only serves some limited purposes as far as educating about the evils of Imperialism, or the promotion of self-determination, y todo eso. Battle of Puebla my ear. Sure. OK, guey.
However, I think Gustavo misses one big fat Manuel’s El Tepeyac Hollenbeck Burrito-sized point: We’ve got to celebrate with the holidays we have. Not the holidays we want.
I approach el Cinco de Mayo with excitement and ambivalence.
I learned the history of the Battle of Puebla as the son of proud Mexicans, who happened to be immigrants. The story goes: On the fifth of May 1862, a small Mexican army kicks French butt. Bueno.
My dad and grandmother worked at the Cinco de Mayo restaurant on Pacific Coast Highway in a small L.A. harbor town. My association with the day is food, drink, familia, history, cultura.
(PNS reporting from MEXICO) Federales are cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead.
The Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.
Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.
Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.
But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.
Mas…Cartel street battle in Mexico ends in rout of French gang invaders
(PNS reporting from TEXAS) Tejanos want singer Freddy Fender’s wig back.
The Música Committee of the Narciso Martinez Cultural Arts Center in San Benito last week demanded the British Museum effect “the immediate return of this important Tejano cultural item.”
The salt-and-pepper Afro-style toupee, called “Freddy’s Fro,” disappeared from the singer’s home shortly after his death in 2006 and reappeared this winter in the Museum’s “Ethnic Minorities in the United States” exhibit on a mannequin of the singer, best known for his 1970s’ hit Wasted Days and Wasted Nights.
Mas…Angry Tejanos demand British Museum return Freddy Fender’s wig
My heart is with my people as I await my procedure.
I await my procedure, Mi Gente. I await it this overcast Sunday morning, surrounded by the bells of the Churches, by my Angels, and the people whom I love. Yeah, I ended up in the hospital the other night. Which one….does not matter. I know people here, Mi Gente is here, and I make friends kinda easy, too.
I just got the word about a lady, who comes into the area, every Saturday, to sell her homemade tamalitos. I know where she will be next Saturday, she and her esposo. And I plan to be there, too.
I am going to get my tamalito de rajas, my fave. Maybe I’ll carry the travel coffee deal my sister gave us. Too cool for school. And I’ll bring my “whatta chair” and hang out in the area, under the beautiful trees, and see mis amigos e amigas.
Mas…Mi corazón esta con mi gente, my heart is with my people
Bend the Arc, a Jewish social justice organization, just introduced an online legal widget that applies immigration laws to your family’s history. Answer some questions and the Entry Denied widget determines if your immigrant ancestors would be allowed into the U.S. today.
And guess what:
Millions of Americans have grown up with a defining family immigration story. But while our families may have endured hardship coming to America, the simple fact is that most of our immigration stories would not be possible at all under today’s immigration laws.
Mas…Hey, Mr. Anti-Immigration Man, can we see your grandpa’s papers?
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. HipHopAlkatraz and Midget Loco are proud to say Me Xicano. (NSFW language.)
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Fugitive ex-cop Christopher Dorner’s wallet was found at the Russian meteor crash site, according to an LAPD statement issued here today.
Although the Los Angeles Police Department does not have an explanation for how the charred wallet ended up on the meteor, observers note the theory supports the “Magic Wallet” theory the LAPD is using to explain how Dorner’s wallet and ID were simultaneously found on a boat in San Diego, at the San Ysidro border and intact in the ashes of the burned out cabin at Big Bear.
Mas…LAPD finds Christopher Dorner wallet at Russian meteor crash site
(PNS reporting from MEXICO) This just in: The Yucatán Peninsula is sending thoughts and prayers to the people of the Ural Mountains of Russia impacted by today’s meteorite. “Sixty-six million years ago, one of those pinche asteroids hit me and killed my dinosaurs,” Yucatan told reporters at a hastily-called press conference. “I am still upset about it.” The Yucatán Peninsula is planning a concert with Juanes and Pitbull to raise funds for the Russian people.
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) This just in: Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor has introduced a bill to shorten February to 26 days. Cantor says February is getting too “uppity” and two of its days should be given to April, which he claims is being discriminated against as “the cruellest month,” because it features the observance of “Confederate History Month” and “Patriots Day.” The bill also aims to cancel leap years, just to be a dick.
Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: GOP aims to cut ‘uppity’ February to 26 days
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) It took a lot of burning sage, cedar, sweetgrass and tobacco, but Tymangoua, the first Native American murdered by a gun in what is now the United States, delivered a message from the spirit world to Washington:
Getting shot and killed sucks!
Indigenous Peoples Against Gun Violence (IPAG) introduced Tymangoua to a press conference here Monday.
IPAG president Lauren Ko’n-Za explained:
Gun violence is not a recent phenomenon. It has existed for hundreds of years and indigenous people like Taymangoua were the first victims. Tymangoua was murdered on Sept. 14, 1513, by Spanish sailors looking to enslave him on the shores of Biscayne Bay in what is now Miami.
What does a 65-year-old man do when he has one million toys in his personal collection? Mexican architect Roberto Shimizu opened an underground museum at his home in Mexico City.
