Immigration

We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us.

Ñewsweek: DREAMers dream, Arpaio hates, Hugo Chavez lives

by

Hey, pochos, it’s 2013 and it looks like we’re in for more of the same old same old from our regular cast of characters!

Thrill as  Sheriff Joe Arpaio returns in a Brand New Hate-Fest for the New Year!

Hold on to your seats as Still-Not-Dead-Yet Commie Super-Hero Hugo Chavez returns to reprise two of his greatest hits!

Smirk and snicker as CNN talking head Ruben Navarrette, Jr., who graduated from Harvard in case you didn’t know, tells those lazy DREAMers to sit up straight and quit talking or HE’S GOING TO STOP THE CAR and come back there.  Dr. Rudy Acuña sets him straight.

These were the stories that broke the ñews on POCHO in the first week of 2013:

Mas…Ñewsweek: DREAMers dream, Arpaio hates, Hugo Chavez lives

Navarrette vs Acuña: The debate about DREAMers gets personal

by
Ruben Navarrette, Jr. Dr. Rodolfo Francisco Acuña

 

It’s the debate that’s burning up the blogosphere. Talking head and self-promoting Latino expert Ruben Navarrette, Jr. thinks those DREAMers are so SELFISH and LAME and NEEDY that they are drawing attention away from important topics, the most important of which is Navarrette who is no pinche DREAMer, thank you very much. Dr. Rodolfo Francisco Acuña, the father of Chicano Studies, responds.

Here are the two columns, side by side:

Mas…Navarrette vs Acuña: The debate about DREAMers gets personal

Marry a citizen, become a citizen at PendejoMatch.com (video)

by


Sen. John Kyl, a Republican (surprise surprise!) from the Hate State of Arizona, is pleased to announce his online dating site for the young, undocumented and desperate.

Marry a citizen, become a citizen!

It’s just that easy with the “quick path to citizenship” from PendejoMatch.com.

Try Pendejo Match for free for 30 days or your money back! Just looking for love? Our sister site MojadoMingle.com is the place for you. Or maybe GueyDate.net.

Pocho Ocho key provisions of Republican ‘Dream Act Lite’

by

They got a serious ass-whupping and they know it, so Republican “moderates” are crafting a “Dream Act Lite” to try to bridge the gap with Latinos.

Here are their Pocho Ocho key provisions:

8. Replace old slogan “No wet backs, no wet dreams” with something more encouraging.
7. Military service need not be completed to achieve citizenship if you are killed in line of duty.
6. You dropped some “anchor babies”? Can you sing “In the Navy”? We thought you could.

Mas…Pocho Ocho key provisions of Republican ‘Dream Act Lite’

To: sw6n-34kd31fa8@dcjobs.craigslist.org  Re: GOP Latino Wrangler

by

Dear Party of Lincoln:
I am very interested in the Latino Wrangler opening at the Republican National Committee you advertised on CraigsList.

My wife is half Mexican, my son is one-quarter Mexican and I have been to Mexico four times for cheap lobster, not that anyone's ethnicity would be used as a qualification for this job. I'm white, of course.

Mas...To: sw6n-34kd31fa8@dcjobs.craigslist.org  Re: GOP Latino Wrangler

Contagious Latinophilia hits U.S.; Boehner, Hannity, Arpaio infected

by

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Public health officials are concerned about contagious Latinophilia that has spread with breathtaking speed across America since Bronco Bama’s reelection last week.

Former anti-Latino pundits and politicians who for years went out of their way to make life miserable for Latinos are now succumbing to what scientists believe may be a viral condition.

“Almost immediately after the election — which may have been decided by the massive Latino vote — reports began flooding our offices,” Robert McLean, Director of Public Health Outbreaks at the Centers for Disease Control in Washington, D.C. said this morning at a press conference.

“All across the nation an increasing number of white men have expressed a new need to reach out to Latinos,” he said.

Mas…Contagious Latinophilia hits U.S.; Boehner, Hannity, Arpaio infected

Don’t wait for immigration reform: PORT-A-BORDER is here! (video)

by


“Comprehensive immigration reform” is like the weather — everyone talks about it but no one does anything about it. That’s why real Americans are going wild over PORT-A-BORDER, the personal hi-tech illegal immigration solution that keeps those darn Mexicans out of your personal space. (Possibly NSFW language.)

CA’s Jerry Brown vetoes ‘Trust Act,’ AZ’s Jan Brewer approves

by

(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer has deemed California Gov. Jerry Brown an honorary citizen following his veto of the Golden State’s Trust Act which would have ended deportation of undocumented immigrants busted for minor offenses.

¡AltoArizona! reports:

Jan Brewer, Arizona’s governor notorious for her signing of the state’s racial profiling bill, SB1070, issued Brown honorary residence in her state. “Anyone who can manage to deny basic protections to domestic workers, farm workers, and entire immigrant families, all in one night, is bound to need some friends,” explained Brewer. “I want him to know, Jerr, you’ve got a friend in me.”

Mas…CA’s Jerry Brown vetoes ‘Trust Act,’ AZ’s Jan Brewer approves

Ñewsweek: Romney? Ya No Más, I wish I were Latino; iPhone La Raza

by

Que busy ñewsweek!

Say hello to Angry Abuelas, pochos. The new iPhone 5 — code-named La Raza — is especially designed for Latinos.

Two  videos broke the news: GOP presidential wannabe Mitt Romney wished he were a puro Latino and his campaign released a new Spanish-language ad aimed at “white Hispanics.”

In science ñews, cilantro haters breathed a sigh of relief as genetics proved it was not their fault and the new African monkey species looks familiar somehow.

Here are the links:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Romney? Ya No Más, I wish I were Latino; iPhone La Raza

Sheriff Joe gears up for tough re-election battle, reveals secret weapon

by

(PNS reporting from PHOENIX) Arizona’s toughest sheriff, Joe Arpaio, might soon be known as Arizona’s fiercest sheriff. Arpaio is gearing up for what he expects will be the toughest of his five re-election campaigns and he is pulling out all the stops this time by revealing his alter ego, “KoKo.”

No stranger to controversy, Arpaio is facing a determined effort from immigration rights activists and the Justice Department to push him out of office but says that “KoKo” will give him the edge this time in fending off his enemies.

A ruling in a lawsuit that alleges his department violated the civil rights of Latinos is expected any day now but Arpaio says that he will weather the storm with “swag and style” the likes of which Maricopa County has never witnessed.

Mas…Sheriff Joe gears up for tough re-election battle, reveals secret weapon

Ramiro says his name is Antonio – here is his life so far (photos)

by

Installation artist and painter Ramiro “Jay” Gomez continues to populate the streets of Southern California with immigrant laborers painted on cardboard.  His quest? To make visible the invisible people who keep L.A. — and Beverly Hills — running.

Here, in the artist’s photographs, is the life story of Ramiro’s newest creation, the guy who sells tourists Maps to the Stars Homes. Ramiro says his name is Antonio. He works his trade at the eastern edge of Beverly Hills, at Santa Monica Boulevard and Doheny, on the border with West Hollywood. Will he be there Thursday morning?

Does the woman with the stroller and the smartphone even know he’s there?

Mas…Ramiro says his name is Antonio – here is his life so far (photos)

+ Load More Posts