jan brewer

Pocho Ocho suggested names for new Nogales MIGRA robot

by

He’s artificially intelligent, muy guapo with dark hair and blue eyes, plus he speaks and understands Spanish and English. He also has a new, high-profile job with Tio Sam’s U.S. Customs and Border Protection Service interviewing people crossing into Los United Estates at Nogales, AZ (photo, above.)

What’s he missing aside from a body and an analog existence? This poor robovato needs a name; right now his bosses just refer to him as the AVATAR (Automated Virtual Agent for Truth Assessments in Real-Time.)

Here are the Pocho Ocho names we like best:

8. Mex Headroom
7. C3 Pito
6. Will Robinson

Mas…Pocho Ocho suggested names for new Nogales MIGRA robot

Xican@ Space Odyssey: Lance Liberty reports for 101.3 Honest Radio

by

It is sometime in the near future.

Laws have been set in motion to protect the American Homeland. Your freedom and sanity are at stake. Oh, and your jobs.

I forgot about your jobs. And your beautifully domesticated wives and children. You pay your taxes, yet you feel one-upped. Lied to. I know. I have a mortgage and a timeshare I haven’t paid in months. Meanwhile our lazy neighbors to the south consume our resources. But there’s no need to fear. No longer do we have to sit in Victoria’s Secret as our wives are gawked at by gang-banging border hoppers. No. Victoria is just beyond the horizon. And one man risks it all in his comfy radio studio located somewhere in the Arizona desert.

That man is Lance Liberty for 101.3 Honest Radio. Take it away, Lance…

Mas…Xican@ Space Odyssey: Lance Liberty reports for 101.3 Honest Radio

Mexclusive: Romney’s VP short list is now down to three names

by

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) Mitt Romney’s list of potential vice presidential running mates is now down to three finalists, campaign insiders report:

  • Wei Chen, Chengdu, Sichuan, China
  • Sadashiv Gupta, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
  • Ester Ramirez, San Antonio, San Miguel, El Salvador

All three offer various strengths to Romney.

Highly energetic Wei Chen is currently employed at the Foxconn plant in Chengdu, and makes iPads, although he has never seen the complete product.

“I wake up, go to work for 14 hours, then I go back home and go to bed, wake up and do it again,” says Chen, 25. “Being Mitt Romney’s running mate would be a welcome change to my schedule, and perhaps stifle my thoughts of suicide.”

Mas…Mexclusive: Romney’s VP short list is now down to three names

Anti-terror WIN! Wrinkled AZ governor detained by U.S. Border Patrol

by

Quick-thinking U.S. Border Patrol agents, inspired by the skull-melting Arizona heat, have captured an elderly terrorist who was hell-bent on turning the vast wasteland known as Arizona into a vast radioactive wasteland.

Or was it the nation’s oldest living ex-governor, Raul Castro (photo,right), 96, who was detained at a border patrol checkpoint in the brutal Arizona morning heat after agents found he posed a “radiation risk” following his heart pacemaker operation?

Mas…Anti-terror WIN! Wrinkled AZ governor detained by U.S. Border Patrol

Ñewsweek: SCOTUS, SB1070, AZ, Obamacare and Mexican Mitt

by

GOP nominee wannabe Mexican Mitt Romney led off the chorus of this week’s reactioneers after the SCOTUS decisions on SB1070 and Obamacare. “We need to implement Labambacare for all Hispanics pronto!” he wrote in a special guest editorial.

Some Arizonans like the SB1070 decision — we have their reactions — but Chicago Congressman Luis Gutierrez ripped the decision to shreds on the floor of the House of Representatives — and we have  the video.

Lots of ñews this past week on POCHO;  here are our top stories:

Mas…Ñewsweek: SCOTUS, SB1070, AZ, Obamacare and Mexican Mitt

Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull, wicked witch of the Southwest (toon)

by


Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull (aka Jan Brewer) Just thought I’d draw something for POCHO regarding the SB1070 ruling for this Fourth of July weekend. As a Chicano comic book nerd and artist, this is the best way for me to strike back against the Wicked Witch of the Southwest.

Gabriel Tellez Jr. is the vato behind The Misadventures of Pepito and Juan, serialized this Spring on POCHO.

Mexican Mitt Romney: Latinos need Labambacare, pronto!

by

This is a terrible day for illness and disease. Obamacare being upheld by those activist judges at the Supremes Court is making me sicker than the time I tried McDonald’s experimental “Birria Burger.”

Thank God it was Available for a Limited Time Only.

The Republican Party is the only party looking out for disease! Diseases are people, my friends. Especially Jan Brewer.

This ruling upholding Obamacare is wrong for Amercia, and really messes up my campaign for President. However, things are not terminal yet.

I vow on my Day Juan in office as Presidente Romney, to repeal Obamacare (AKA Romneycare) and replace it with Romneydoesntcare.

Romneydoesntcare is modeled on the health system we had before, which was, “rich people pay cash for healthcare, and everyone else can go pound pupusas.”

Mas…Mexican Mitt Romney: Latinos need Labambacare, pronto!

Random sampling of Arizonans elated by SCOTUS SB1070 ruling

by

Some Arizonans were elated that the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that one key part of SB1070 is constitutional at the same time three other portions were overturned in today’s 5-3 opinion.

The part ruled constitutional requires an officer to make a reasonable attempt to determine the immigration status of a person stopped, detained or arrested if there’s reasonable suspicion that person is in the country illegally. Anything from sombreros to brown skin may allow police to inquire about one’s immigration status.

Reactions from a random sampling of Arizonans were positive and optimistic.

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer’s bony-ass mummy finger was held high in the air upon hearing of the mixed decision: “We Kept ONE! We Kept ONE!” The aged papyrus-skinned governor declared victory: “The Supremes voided much of SB1070 but let us keep my favorite part– profiling those smooth-skinned Mexicans.”

Mas…Random sampling of Arizonans elated by SCOTUS SB1070 ruling

California’s new official poetry man is Juan Felipe Herrera (video)

by


Gov. Jerry Brown has sworn in UC Riverside professor Juan Felipe Herrera as California’s Poet Laureate — the first Chicano to get the honor. In this video, Herrera reads his poem 187 reasons Mexicanos can’t cross the border. The poem illustrates the difference between Jerry Brown’s California and Jan Brewer’s Hate State of Arizona, where Mexican-American Studies are outlawed. Cali isn’t perfect, but at least we know where we came from.

Searching for Eldorado’s City of Gold, modern ‘goldbugs’ infest AZ

by
Photog Diego Rivera visited an Aztlanian gold mine before the locals hid it from the 'Conquistadors'

(PNS reporting from THE HATE STATE OF ARIZONA) It’s a mystery from history that’s too shiny to die:

Where exactly is Eldorado, the famed City of Gold built by ancient Aztlanians and hidden from the brutal “conquistadors?”

A  swarm of recession-smacked out-of-towners asked the question again last week in Yuma County, AZ. The answer included injuries, Hollywood and politics as usual.

Mas…Searching for Eldorado’s City of Gold, modern ‘goldbugs’ infest AZ

Ñewsweek: AZ gay sheriff, ‘Sh¡t Latinos Don’t Say,’ Satan speaks

by
GAYDAR Border Sign

The Hate State of Arizona was the scene of three big stories this week:

GOP wannabe Mitt Rammane’s campaign pulled another boner as the campaign co-chair, immigrant-hating sheriff Paul Babeu, tried to explain his way out of allegations he threatened his Mexican immigrant boyfriend with deportation.

Babeu resigned from the campaign but not before Pocho Ñews Service scored a copy of his cancelled TV commercial endorsing Romney. Babeu’s endorsement noted Romney’s support for installing GAYDAR to protect the Arizona border from straight migrants, letting only attractive Gayliens cross over.

Babeu later announced he was ready for any probe of his actions, the deeper the better.

Mas…Ñewsweek: AZ gay sheriff, ‘Sh¡t Latinos Don’t Say,’ Satan speaks

Pocho Ocho reasons Jan Brewer declined dinner at the White House

by

We already know mummy-like AZ Gov. Jan Brewer gets absolutely unraveled whenever she’s near Pres. Barack Obama. But why exactly did she decline to attend tomorrow’s Governor’s Dinner at the White House?

Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons Brewer did not accept the President’s invitation:

8– They could not guarantee her a seat next to the open bar

7– She’s going to be busy looking for heads in the desert

6– Sunday night is when she soaks her skin in formaldehyde

Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons Jan Brewer declined dinner at the White House

Week of Ñews: AZ showdown, FLA follies, CT jerk, MX mischief

by

President Barack Obama flew into Arizona and was greeted on the tarmac by a nasty Gov. Jan Brewer; POCHO has the audio.

In political news, Herman Cain backed Newt Gingrich in the GOP nomination race and released a new poster, while Newt’s peeps supplied a subtitled version of his Spanish-language TV commercial.

Jerkiosity spread to CT as a small town mayor made small-minded remarks and troubles in Mexico bubbled over the border as far as The Hague.

Click on the [Mas…] for, you know, mas!

Mas…Week of Ñews: AZ showdown, FLA follies, CT jerk, MX mischief

BARACK vs. BREWER! Exclusive audio: When Obama met Brewer at the PHX airport (NSFW)

by

(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) When Gov. Jan Brewer met visiting Pres. Barack Obama at the Phoenix-Mesa Gateway airport Wednesday they appeared to have engaged in a testy verbal exchange. The PNS crack mobile team of forensic audiologists have managed to extract the sound of the conversation from the background noise. Here’s what Obama and Brewer said (NSFW.)

Mas…BARACK vs. BREWER! Exclusive audio: When Obama met Brewer at the PHX airport (NSFW)

+ Load More Posts