jan brewja

Arizona Ex-Governor Jan Brewja’s Pocho Ocho Mas Loco Predictions

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superbrewerFormer Arizona Governor Jan Brewja is predicting Donald Trump will win in the Hate State elections because Latinos won’t vote.

“Nah,” Brewer said in an interview with the Boston Globe. “They don’t get out and vote. They don’t vote.”

What else does she foresee? Here are her Pocho Ocho Mas Loco Predictions:

8. Pigs will fly.

7. When nasty women stop provoking the average guy with slutty clothes, rapes will stop.

6. If regulators approve the AT&T-Time Warner merger, the cable guy will actually arrive between 10am and 2pm.

Mas…Arizona Ex-Governor Jan Brewja’s Pocho Ocho Mas Loco Predictions

Pocho Ocho top premiums for donors to $heriff Joe’s KickStarter

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sheriffjoeoinkMaricopa County Arizona $heriff Joe Arpaio is in big legal trouble and is asking supporters to help.

Arpaio said he doesn’t have the money for attorneys, adding that he feels “targeted” by the immigration rights groups that have sued him to stop what they say are racist policies targeting Latinos, according to the Los Angeles Times.

Mas…Pocho Ocho top premiums for donors to $heriff Joe’s KickStarter

Back from the dead and running for Congress, it’s Cesar Chavez!

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newchavez(PNS reporting from TUCSON) Cesar Chavez — noted American farm worker, labor leader and civil rights activist — is back from the dead and running for the congressional seat being vacated by retiring Rep. Ed Pastor (D-AZ).

“I will do just about anything to win in Arizona’s heavily Hispanic 7th Congressional District,” Chavez said in a press release, “including rising from the grave if that’s what it takes.”

A Chavez spokesman said the newly-registered Democratic candidate (until recently a two-time Republican loser) had been “flooded with calls” and was no longer speaking to the press, but if he did decide to answer questions, he would not discuss how he came back from the dead or what the afterlife is like.

Mas…Back from the dead and running for Congress, it’s Cesar Chavez!

Pocho Ocho items on Jan Brewer’s bucket list

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justbrewerbigArizona Governor Jan Brewer won’t run again, she announced Wednesday, but said her retirement as governor won’t put an end to her dreams.

“A mule is an animal with long funny ears,” she told an audience at a school in Glendale, AZ,  “she kicks up at anything she hears. Her back is brawny and her brain is weak, she’s just plain stupid with a stubborn streak. So when I walk out of this school, I’ll still remain a stupid mule.”

There are Pocho Ocho items on her bucket list, Brewja said:

8. Realize her dream of starting a clothing optional retreat with Sheriff Joe Arpaio

7. Spend more time with her coven

6. Convince George Lucas to cast her as Evil Yoda in the next Star Wars movie

Mas…Pocho Ocho items on Jan Brewer’s bucket list

Forget Los Oscars: Mira Los Hectors©! POCHO’s Annual Awards

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Behold, The Hectors©, bestowed for Excellence in Mockability.

The Hectors© are named for POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz’ cousin Hector (photo), who is excellent at ruining family gatherings, especially when he has downed his third 12-pack. He hasn’t seen a film since Blood In, Blood Out.

And the Hector© goes to:

Mas…Forget Los Oscars: Mira Los Hectors©! POCHO’s Annual Awards

Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s new plan: Arm AZ kids with grenade launchers

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(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Last week, Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne proposed putting a gun in the hands of at least one kindergartner in every school and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is running with the idea.

“America’s toughest sheriff” wants a grenade launcher for every student.

According to Sheriff Joe, after he puts armed posse members near schools, he will focus on arming every student with a personalized grenade launcher to “blow the living shit out of anything that even looks suspicious…like Mexicans.”

Mas…Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s new plan: Arm AZ kids with grenade launchers

Top Pendejos of 2012: AZ’s Gov. Jan Brewer and Sheriff Joe Arpaio

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We tried to pick just one Top Pendejo of 2012 but we ended up with two, both from the Hate State of Arizona: Gov. Jan Brewja and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

The witchy woman has taken every opportunity to lie, defame, harass and impede President Obama, Mexican-American Arizonans, a woman’s right to choose, Dreamers’ rights, students’ education, a minimum level of health care for constituents, and, to keep things current, she has an A+ Rating from the NRA merchants of death.

Pigasus Joe, who only missed being thrown out of office by a slim margin in the recent Maricopa County elections, just made headlines again by vowing to parade female DUI convicts in public chain gangs. His racist enforcement of the remaining provisions of AZ SB1070 has made him particularly abhorrent to those who fight for equality and justice.

So these two pendejos will share the ignominy of our Top Pendejos of 2012 award, and here are the reasons why:

Mas…Top Pendejos of 2012: AZ’s Gov. Jan Brewer and Sheriff Joe Arpaio

Where in the &*+@# is Jan Brewer? The Pocho Ocho places…

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Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is MISSING. Before you uncork the champagne, and before she comes back from her one-week vanishing, here’s the Pocho Ocho places Jan Brewer COULD BE:

8. At the Rawlings factory getting her skin re-laced

7. In Georgia filming the lead zombie role in “Walking Dead”

6. At a private correctional prison junket to Alcatraz

Mas…Where in the &*+@# is Jan Brewer? The Pocho Ocho places…

Sheriff Joe gears up for tough re-election battle, reveals secret weapon

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(PNS reporting from PHOENIX) Arizona’s toughest sheriff, Joe Arpaio, might soon be known as Arizona’s fiercest sheriff. Arpaio is gearing up for what he expects will be the toughest of his five re-election campaigns and he is pulling out all the stops this time by revealing his alter ego, “KoKo.”

No stranger to controversy, Arpaio is facing a determined effort from immigration rights activists and the Justice Department to push him out of office but says that “KoKo” will give him the edge this time in fending off his enemies.

A ruling in a lawsuit that alleges his department violated the civil rights of Latinos is expected any day now but Arpaio says that he will weather the storm with “swag and style” the likes of which Maricopa County has never witnessed.

Mas…Sheriff Joe gears up for tough re-election battle, reveals secret weapon

Hey SB1070 loser Russell Pearce, karma’s a bitch…

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Our homies at NBC Latino are reporting that Aryanzona SB1070 creator and sloppy sack of sadness Russell Pearce has lost what is hopefully his final political campaign. We at POCHO are celebrating and gloating that this racist pendejo has been taken out by a fellow Republican.

Hopefully he can join bag o’ drunken bones AZ Governor Jan Brewer at her rest home soon, and they can complain together about their Mexican adult care attendants.

See ya, don’t let Arizona hit you on the ass!

AZ Gov. Jan Brewer unwraps her roots in Guanajuato, MX (photo)

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(PNS reporting from MEXICO) In a bid to rehabilitate her image with Latinos, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer visits her old friends in Guanajuato, Mexico.

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Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull, wicked witch of the Southwest (toon)

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Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull (aka Jan Brewer) Just thought I’d draw something for POCHO regarding the SB1070 ruling for this Fourth of July weekend. As a Chicano comic book nerd and artist, this is the best way for me to strike back against the Wicked Witch of the Southwest.

Gabriel Tellez Jr. is the vato behind The Misadventures of Pepito and Juan, serialized this Spring on POCHO.