LAPD’s top detective duo has a tough case to crack — who is distributing high-strength designer medical marijuana Larry in the Sky With Diamonds? (NSFW adult language and drug use.)
Marijuana
Ñewsweek: LOST GOV Jan Brewja, boobs, San Diego billboard
When Jan Brewja, governor of the Hate State of Arizona (photo,right), officially announced her absence from the jurisdiction, concerned Americans began a desperate search for LOST GOV, posting flyers on telephone polls and all over the Internets.
Her mysterious disappearance almost overshadowed the shocking revelation of Iowa’s Brian Peterson, who finally had to come to grips with the fact that he watches telenovelas for the boobs, not to learn Spanish like he originally told himself.
And in San Diego, a multimillionaire commissioned a billboard to get himself a new girlfriend for Christmas — a “Christmas Latina.” Our Especial Correspondents uncovered some earlier versions of the billboard, and an intrepid photographer snapped the final version of the message.
Here are the links to the top stories that broke the ñews:
Mas…Ñewsweek: LOST GOV Jan Brewja, boobs, San Diego billboard
Pocho Ocho topographical terrors ahead besides the ‘fiscal cliff’
Everyone in Politistan is talking about the upcoming “fiscal cliff,” but that’s not the only topographical terror in America’s future. Here’s our list of the Pocho Ocho problems ahead:
8. Gay Marriage Hump
7. Entitlement Mountain
6. Wall Street Falls
5. Corporate Gorge
Mas…Pocho Ocho topographical terrors ahead besides the ‘fiscal cliff’
What’s smoking in Colorado? Al Madrigal reports (video)
The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent (and POCHO Migrant Editor) Al Madrigal tells Jon Stewart all about Colorado’s marijuana legalization referendum despite never having smoked pot himself.
Toke the Vote urges big turnout for Tuesday Presidential election
(PNS reporting from OAKLAND) “Are you planning on voting Tuesday, brah?” Dale Mendoza scrunched his eyes shut behind his dark sunglasses as he concentrated on his phone call with a potential voter in Arkansas.
“This election is critical, OK, and we totally need your vote.” Mendoza (photo, left) was the team leader of two dozen phone bank volunteers in a basement office in this Northern California city, possible the country’s most pot-friendly municipality.
The smoke-filled room is a California outpost of Toke the Vote, a coalition of pro-marijuana political activists backed by the Zig-Zag cigarette papers company and ConAgra’s Screaming Yellow Zonkers snack products.
Mas…Toke the Vote urges big turnout for Tuesday Presidential election
Connecticut becomes 17th state to OK ‘Medical Menudo’
(PNS reporting from the NUTMEG STATE) Connecticut became the 17th state to approve Medical Menudo yesterday when the state’s Senate gave overwhelming approval to a bill passed earlier by the Assembly.
“This is a new dawn for all Connecticutitians,” Sen. Juan Gopher (D-Bridgeport) told supporters. “The days of twitching, throbbing and sobbing alcohol victims waiting on sketchy corners for their menudo are over.”
The legislation, which awaits the expected approval of Gov. Nancy Wyman, allows non-profit collectives to dispense Medical Menudo (MM) to patients with a mariachi’s recommendation.
Prospective MM patient Rocio Balboa appeared excited by the news. “Gaaaaaaaah! My head. Ooook. It’s so bright. And stop shouting!” she told PNS.
But the policy does not enjoy universal support.
4/20 Video: Lawrence Welk is ‘One Toke Over the Line’
In one of the most bizarre episodes ever run on the super square Lawrence Welk TV variety show, the ensemble presents their feel-good version of Brewer & Shipleys’ One Toke Over the Line.
I know, right? What were they thinking? Why is the under-conductor coughing like he sparked a harsh nug? Is the band giggling in the background? Did Welk think it was some kind of gospel tune?