Pancho Claus? He’s Santa’s cousin from south of the border! Long before he recorded novelty tunes, Lalo Guerrero was a star. Some call him the Father of Chicano music.
Mas…Merry Christmas from ‘Pancho Claus’ and Lalo Guerrero (videos)
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From Mexican ‘Santa Claus’ (1959): Lupita’s Devil Dream (video)
Here’s maybe the most famous scene from K. Gordon Murray’s English dub of the low-budget live-action Mexican classic Santa Claus. In this scene, which has given kids nightmares for years, Lupita’s dreams are interrupted by the Devil. Santa is able to see it (from his cloud in outer space) thanks to the dream-scope, created by Merlin the Magician.
This trailer is for a 2007 MST3K-style parody version:
Mas…From Mexican ‘Santa Claus’ (1959): Lupita’s Devil Dream (video)
Chino John Wynn thinks it might be easier if he were a Latino (video)
ZOMG! Did epic failure Willard “Mitt” Romney get his idea about how life would be easier he were only a Latino from John Wynn’s stand up comedy routine? And are Mexican-Americans purveyors of “casual racism?”
She replaced Feliz Navidad with ‘Feliz Hanukkah’ (audio)
When Austin resident Trina Hernandez (photo) found out her family had Jewish roots, it allowed her to ditch the commercial aspects of Christmas she had long disliked and connect to a tradition she found more meaningful for her and her son. From NPR’s Latino USA with Maria Hinojosa.
RELATED:
Dear Photoshop Experts: Can you take the Mexican out of this picture?
His name is Brandon, and he emailed PhotoshopRequest.com with a request for some Photoshop help with a photo taken at Disneyland:
Can you take the Mexican person out of the picture?
Here’s what happened next:
Mas…Dear Photoshop Experts: Can you take the Mexican out of this picture?
Tía Chita: ‘It’s final! I’ve absolutely, positively made my last tamal!’
(PNS reporting from LAREDO) Tia Chita will not be hosting the annual holiday season tamalada at her house this year, she revealed to her family last night. As a matter of fact, she told stunned participants at her niece’s baby shower, she never wants to make another tamal in her life.
“First of all, I’m sick of all the gossip!” she shouted, pacing around the room quicker and quicker the more excited she became.
“I know the tamaladas are where all the comadres are supposed to catch up on ‘family news’ and everything, but did you ever think that I really don’t care who’s sleeping with whom and who’s going to have a baby? Ya estoy vieja, I’ve been a million weddings already!”
Chita is sick of everyone coming over to eat her food and then leaving dirty napkins everywhere, staining her nice couches with tamal grease, she said. Sometimes the bathroom gets stopped up, and she has to have the neighbor come over with the plumber’s snake. “He’s not a smell-good plumber,” she grimaced.
Mas…Tía Chita: ‘It’s final! I’ve absolutely, positively made my last tamal!’
Prankster punks Speech 101 class with bogus Mexican accent (video)
Comedian Jose Barrientos‘s fake Mexican accent was so convincing he had his entire Speech 101 class fooled, except for this one blonde woman (she claimed later.) (NSFW audio.)
POCHO Estaff Reports: The Real Turkeys of Thanksgiving
POCHO’s Especial Correspondents spread out across America yesterday observing Thanksgiving (just like normal people!) and sent in notes about their day. Some names were changed to avoid unpredictable results. Read their stories and share your own in the comments!
Homeboy in East Los: My family’s so Mexican we carved the turkey with a switchblade ·IN MEMORY of SMILEY·
Dateline, Austin: MEChA cousin Xochiloctl is in the living room refusing to eat turkey and playing Call of Duty instead.
Nancy in Santana, the O.C.: That awkward moment when three-year-old Cousin Ricardo makes a big announcement that everybody better finish their plates because Mommy spent the whole day cooking the dog.
Pets for Pochos: Mexican Redknee Tarantula (video)
Cats? Been there. Dogs? Done that. Birds? Meh. What you need is a Mexican Redknee Tarantula — quiet, neat, just feed them crickets and keep them warm. And their venom may hurt like hell, but it’s not lethal!
Mexican Mitt’s ‘I Am the Juan Percent’ animated music video
Enjoy the ELECTION EVE WORLD PREMIERE of Mexican Mitt Romney‘s first animated music video! Share it with your friends!
Cri-Cri, El Grillito Cantor: ‘La Marcha De Las Letras’ (video)
Face it — you could use some remedial work on your Spanish vowels (las cinco vocales.) But when everyone’s favorite singing cricket is around, mijos, it’s easy! Cri-Cri is here with La Marcha De Las Letras. (Yes, we know about the flaca and the gorda and the letters I and O. This song is from history. The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there.)
Here are the lyrics:
Mas…Cri-Cri, El Grillito Cantor: ‘La Marcha De Las Letras’ (video)
‘Lucha!’ the video: One scene, 19 seconds, big ending
LUCHA!: Nineteen-second cartoon — one scene with a shocking ending.
The City of Anaheim is a theme park where the theme is racism
In the land of make believe, the home of the Magic Kingdom, right where Disneyland sits, there is another theme park that has been around for decades.
This park is not called California Adventure, and its newest attraction is not “Cars.”
The amusement park is called simply “Anaheim.” Here, in various themed areas, you can have a magical time!
In Barriotown you can corral cast members, (AKA Mexicans) and watch them squirm in their low-income housing and run about their underserved public facilities. The best part is the Mexicans have no say in this! And the park management has no plans to do anything drastic to revamp or update this themed area by changing to City Council districts where the Mexicans may get to complain.
Mas…The City of Anaheim is a theme park where the theme is racism
Sassy cutie Armida stars in 1944’s ‘Machine Gun Mama’ (video)
(Machine Gun Mama, 1944, 60 mins) Two Brooklyn fishes-out-of-water are south of the border when their truck breaks down on the way to deliver an elephant. (Yes. On the way to deliver an elephant. This lightweight comedy is big on gags and short on plot.) Luckily (!) they run into a roadside Mexican circus-carnival-sideshow. Homegirl cutie-pie Armida is hysterical as the sassy female circus star. Listen to her curse at the gringos in Spanish!
Who is Armida? From IMDB:
Mas…Sassy cutie Armida stars in 1944’s ‘Machine Gun Mama’ (video)
No more ‘Wetback Willie’ burritos, sir; try our ‘Dirty Sanchez’ (video)
In Florida, where killers have fan clubs and bath salts lose face, there’s been some commotion about the menu at Lola’s Burrito Joint, which featured the Wetback Willie Burrito, Dirty Sanchez Crab and No Papers Shrimp.
- This just in: Try the Dirty Sanchez at Torchy’s Tacos, Austin
Mas…No more ‘Wetback Willie’ burritos, sir; try our ‘Dirty Sanchez’ (video)
Hello, world: ‘I’m Not Mexican!’ (video)
In 2006, a bunch of people wanted you to know that they were not Mexican, so they made this video. They’re still not Mexican as far as we know and good for them!
- Who/what are you? How do you define yourself?
‘Luchano el Luchador’ was down on his luck, until… (video)
Luchano el Luchador was a wrestling great, a headliner – once upon a time. Now he’s washed up, works a depressing day job and has no hope for the future, until he picks up a card from a business that promises to change his life.
Make sure you keep watching through the elaborate credits (Puta #1, Puta #2, Puta #3, etc.) for the “shaggy dog story” ending!
Mainstream media wants to know: WTF are ‘pochos’ and ‘nacos’?
I have long said it is a Pocho Planet, and maybe you can make the case that it’s a Naco World as well!
We all know what a pocha or a pocho is, and the greatness and prestige that designation implies. But if you aren’t clear, or wondering what the hell naco means, watch this mun2 video featuring Gustavo Arellano, Jenni Rivera, Commander Adama plus many other cool folks. And me.
Thanks to the gente at mun2 for having me!
- Here’s a link to mun2’s video (12 minutes) and a link to an extended interview with moi.
Naco was the Word of the Day at the Daily Texican in 2004
Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Rajas con crema if you don’t espeak English
Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Today I give you the recipe for Rajas con Crema. This was inspire by a trip to the store that sells Mexican things like dancing papier mâché skeletons, Frida Kahlo key chains, overpriced things for the wall. You know, is like Mexican Disneyland. I went in looking for a rebozo to give as a present for my comadre’s birthday.
I find the skinny hipster girl behind the cash register and I say, “Do you have any rebozos?”
“What’s that?” she say.
Anyone who knows Tia Lencha knows that she wanted to give the hipster girl a coco in la cabeza. “What do you mean what’s that? Is…a shawl…like you call it in English.”
“Oh. No,” she say.
“No what?”
“We don’t have those here,” she say. And she turn around like we were finish.
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Rajas con crema if you don’t espeak English
Contractor and Latino day laborer become BFFs in ‘The Tool’ (video)
A seemingly-friendly contractor hires a migrant laborer for a house painting job but their relationship soon gets complicated. Will their man crush outlast the law?
Mexican-American Chamber of Commerce: ‘Mexicans work better’
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) The Mexican-American Chamber of Commerce and the U.S. Labor Department are launching a campaign to promote Hispanic workers.
The Mexicans Work Better campaign encourages American business owners to hire Latino workers for whatever jobs are open and at whatever salary.
“Since the Spanish arrival in the Americas, Latinos have been great workers. We want to encourage U.S. business owners to continue to hire them, at whatever cost,” Chamber of Commerce Executive Director Adrian García told a Monday morning press conference in the Watergate Hotel.
“By hiring Latino workers, business owners get people with a good work ethic, and Latinos get the chance to buy themselves a pack of tortillas — maybe even two. It’s a fair trade.”
Mas…Mexican-American Chamber of Commerce: ‘Mexicans work better’
When Spanish in school was illegal: ‘When I Dream Dreams’ (video)
Once upon a time in America, Latino kids were not allowed to speak Spanish in school. This documentary recalls those days.
In 1918, Texas, along with many other states, enacted statutes that made the speaking of any language other than English on public school grounds illegal. These laws remained active until the U.S. Congress passed the Bilingual Education Act in 1968.
Through personal interviews with distinguished leaders and educators — all native Spanish/English-speakers — When I Dream Dreams explores the complex psychological and social effects of these laws by relating the experiences of these people as students and, later, as teachers, professors, and legislators.
When I Dream Dreams was made by four students enrolled in an alternative media course at Trinity University in 2001. It has won prizes and festival appearances around the United States, including Best Student Film at the San Francisco Latino Film Festival 2002, Best of the Fest at Cine Accion 2002, and official selection at San Antonio’s Cine Festival 2002. The piece takes its name from the poem by Carmen Tafolla.
From Archive.org
In the border badlands, it’s migrants vs vigilantes, hope vs hate (video)
Gustavo Aguilar and Juan Cabrera, Mexican day laborers alone in a Twilight Zone desert, are confronted by a screaming protest against illegal immigration. Ours is a world of mirage and illusion, they remind us, and you have to believe it to see it.
Someone dissed you? Curse like a Mexican with these comebacks
The folks at Mun2.tv are back with the second part of their Curse Like A Mexican series. This time it’s how to properly deliver the comeback. The video is NSFW if people overhear it, know Spanish, and dislike cuss words. The English translations/subtitles are bleeped. The first episode is here.
Food safety cops spot mysterious (Mexican?) CACA ‘intruder virus’
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) The anti-import National Food Safety Workshop (NFSW) here claims a dangerous foreign food virus is infecting Caucasian-American digestive systems nationwide.
The comida cops say the virus is spread by manipulating the DNA of four foods native to Mexico — chiles, avocado, corn and agave.
“We’re calling it the CACA Virus,” says NFSW chief researcher Dr. Creflo Smith-Buster. “It’s something we had hoped we’d never see – a genetically-modified steaming turd of an illegal alien scientific conundrum on the pristine white floor of an American lab.”
Mas…Food safety cops spot mysterious (Mexican?) CACA ‘intruder virus’
Atomic TV: Masks, Monsters & Mexican Mayhem (video)
They do public access TV differently in Baltimore:
Hosted by Nashville’s rockin’ combo Los Straitjackets… Masked Mexican Wrestlers!… The real international man of mystery, El Santo!… Mexican monster movies… Mondo films… People eating Parasites – and The Dead!… Spanish Superhero El Barrio vs. Tony the Landlord in the squared circle… Meet a Roman Catholic Masked Wrestler Priest!… plus an assortment of vintage Atomic Scare Films and Civil Defense Messages and old Natty Boh commercials.
Carmen’s Mexican Wake Up Call Service is guaranteed (NSFW video)
Even though it’s Tuesday, it feels like Monday, right? And it was hard to get up when the alarm rang this morning, right? When you absolutely, positively can’t oversleep, try Carmen’s Mexican Wake Up Call Service. You’ll be wide awake in no #$@%#%%^ time! (NSFW language.)
In their own words: ‘Hispanic Veterans Remembered’ (video)
In this documentary, Latino veterans share their stories of their time in the military.
Blonde Mexican dissident seeks asylum in Chinese restaurant
Rubio was spirited away from his home in a car trunk at noon yesterday by friends who convinced suspicious local gang members the getaway vehicle was sagging the trunk was filled with drogas, one source told PNS.
“Pablo went to the Che Xuan Panda restaurant because to them he looks Mexican,” she said. “We all look Mexican to them. Also the 75 pesos lunch special with soup and egg roll rocks.”
Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of Pochismo, Inc., a California corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court. Don’t ask us, we just work here.
 
Beverly Hills Mexican restaurant where Lalo got profiled shuts down
One night in February, POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz was waiting for the valet to retrieve his car outside a Mexican restaurant in Beverly Hills when a white lady repeatedly thrust her parking valet ticket in his direction.
Lalo was at the restaurant to speak on a panel for DigitalLA Latino Content professionals on the need for Latinos to create and control their own media content and channels because mainstream media stereotypes of Latinos are, you know, stereotypes.
And now that restaurant has abruptly closed. No more gigantic fresh three-way chips of blue corn, yucca and plantains with both salsa verde and salsa habanera. No more empanadas. No more $5 Happy Hour specials like ceviche shooters.
We don’t know why they closed (the website is all white.) It’s a shame — they were berry berry nice to us. In memoriam, here’s Lalo’s epic account of that evening. The headline?
Standing While Brown: A white lady tried to get me to valet her car
Mas…Beverly Hills Mexican restaurant where Lalo got profiled shuts down
Mexican garden statues get up, stand up and go on tour (photos)
(PNS reporting from the HATE STATE OF ARIZONA) The “Sleeping Mexican” statues of Tucson we featured last week snooze no more. Buoyed by the online support they received 
after POCHO publicized their plight, these hombres woke up, stood up, dressed up and went on tour across Los United Estates to tell their story.
From their early untold history — hanging out backstage with Frank Sinatra — to their recent appearances at the Academy Awards, the Mexican garden gnome hombres (AKA gnombres) are on the move, getting out the word and straight up representing! Look for them in a garden near you, or in the photos below.
Mas…Mexican garden statues get up, stand up and go on tour (photos)