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mexico
As the Illegal Mexicans and Muslims Invade (a poem)
AN ILLEGAL POEM
By Illegal Immigrants
I cross river,
Poor and broke,
Take bus,
See employment folk.
Nice man
Treat me good in there,
Say I need
Go see Welfare.
‘How Tequila Is Made,’ ‘Maguey, Plant of 1000 Uses’ (videos)
Tequila — real tequila — can only be made from the blue agave. This short British documentary explains the process.
But wait, there’s more. How about the 1952 Ralph Adams documentary Maguey: Plant of a Thousand Uses:
Mas…‘How Tequila Is Made,’ ‘Maguey, Plant of 1000 Uses’ (videos)
Gov. Rick Perry orders troops to the border, Texans react (photo)
As Texas Gov. Rick Perry mobilizes the National Guard to patrol the border and protect America from helpless fleeing single mothers and child refugees, his fellow Texans aren’t shy about sharing their love.
PREVIOUSLY ON RICK PERRY:
Mas…Gov. Rick Perry orders troops to the border, Texans react (photo)
Small-town Oaxaca mayor marries crocodile princess for fish (video)
Brides can often get a bit snappy on their big day – and one Mexican crocodile is no exception. She’s marrying the mayor of a Pacific coast fishing town in a traditional ceremony.
The fishermen of the town of San Pedro Huamelula, Oaxaca, believe the crocodile is a princess, and a wedding ritual will bring plenty of fish for them to catch along the Pacific coast. And then there’s the part when the mayor talks about the parade of “morenos” bearing croc statues.
South Carolina’s Live5 CBS reports:
Mas…Small-town Oaxaca mayor marries crocodile princess for fish (video)
Friday Night Lights in Tijuana means Lucha Libre (video)
A gringo goes to Tijuana to meet the men, both tecnicos and rudos, behind in the masks of lucha libre.
If you think you worked hard today, watch these guys! (video)
Four guys with picks and shovels dig a water well in Oaxaca in this 2008 video. The temperature approached 100°, according to the uploader. It’s amazing to watch how hard these guys work, and the techniques they use to turn a hole in the ground into a working well.
Here’s what it says on YouTube:
Mas…If you think you worked hard today, watch these guys! (video)
For July 4, try these Pocho Ocho favorite Mexican fireworks
Used to be you could always celebrate the Fourth of July along the border in the most patriotic way: by detonating illegal Mexican fireworks.
Here are some of our favorite dangerous Mexican fireworks from when men were men, and fireworks were weapons grade bundles o’ fun!
8. Guadalajara Guarheads
7. Tijuana TNT
6. La La La La La Bomba
Mas…For July 4, try these Pocho Ocho favorite Mexican fireworks
Area futbol fans celebrate El Tri’s 3-1 victory over Croatia (photo)
(PNS reporting from HUNTINGTON PARK, CALIFAS) Hundreds of local athletic supporters — fans of the Mexican World Cup futbol team — celebrated El Tri’s 3-1 victory over Croatia Monday afternoon (photo, above). The celebration was mostly peaceful and Huntington Park police said only four fans were arrested — three for disorderly conduct and one for leaning like a cholo in the wrong direction.
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
Mexico-Brazil fútbol generates an F-bomb on Irish TV (NSFW video)
Inspired by L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti’s L.A Kings F-bomb on live TV, on-the-air sports presenters in Ireland dropped the bomb during halftime of Tuesday’s Mexico-Brazil match. [NSFW adult language if someone there at your job can understand the thick Irish brogues. It’s more like “fookin” or something.]
Everyone wins a World Cup of Everything Else (infographics)
If there were a World Cup for the Highest Percentage of Middle-Aged Unmarried Women Between 45 and 49, Brazil would win! ¡Ole!
In the World Cup for the Futbol Team with the Most Twitter Followers, the winner is Selección Mexicana, @miseleccionmx on the Tuiter:
Mas…Everyone wins a World Cup of Everything Else (infographics)
Video: He just wanted to take a sh*t, then THIS happened!
It was just another day, another dump in a stall in the bathroom at the office, and then THIS happened!
Mas…Video: He just wanted to take a sh*t, then THIS happened!
Where do immigrants come from? These days, the answer is ‘Mexico’
These days in Aztlan — and across lots of the United Estates — most immigrants come from Mexico, but it wasn’t always that way. A hundred years ago or so they were from Germany.
The Pew Research Center reports:
Mas…Where do immigrants come from? These days, the answer is ‘Mexico’
Munchies in Oaxaca? This video tells you where to go!
Daniel Hernandez tells you where to go when you’re hungry in Oaxaca. [Video by Munchies TV]
The YouTube explains:
Mexican mama bear, baby bear climb Texas canyon wall (video)
A mama black bear — probably from Mexico — and her cub climb a Texas canyon wall to escape the pinche OSO MIGRA. [Warning: Annoying loud wind noise audio — you probably want to lower your volume.]
Legend La India Maria returns as ‘La Hija de Moctezuma’ (trailer)
| ESPANOL: La India María debe encontrar a toda costa en lo recóndito de una montaña, El Mágico Espejo Negro de Tezcatlipoca, pues el espíritu de su bisabuelo Moctezuma Xocoyotzin así lo ha ordenado para evitar la destrucción de México.
Alonso, un atractivo arqueólogo español, Bianchi, un tramposo busca-tesoros y Brígida Troncoso — una ambiciosa gobernadora, se enteran de la existencia del dichoso Espejo, del misterioso Tesoro de Moctezuma y de la tal María, por lo que todos emprenden una frenética persecución detrás de ella para apoderarse del cristal mágico y del oro. |
ENGLISH: La India María (born María Nicolasa Cruz) must find, at all costs, hidden away in a big mountain, The Magic Black Mirror of Tezcatlipoca. She’s on a mission ordered by the spirit of her great grandfather Moctezuma Xocoyotzin,and she must succeed to stop the destruction of all Mexico.
Alonso, an attractive Spanish architect, Bianchi, a crazy treasure hunter and Brígida Troncoso, an ambitious governor, all find out about the existence of the Mirror, the mysterious Treasure of Moctezuma and María, which is why everyone pursues her to try to take away the magical crystal and gold. |
Mexican Mestizo Miracle! Zebra + Donkey = Zonkey (video)
Papa Ignacio is a pygmy albino donkey, Mama Rayas is your regular striped zebra. Ignacio used to sneak over from his farm to Rayas’ place at the zoo for some sexy time, and vice versa. Then nature took over and brought young zonkey Rayas to the zoo in Tamaulipas, MX. It’s a miracle because typically a chromosome mismatch keeps the two species from interbreeding. But that’s what they also said about La Malinche.
Captain America’s to-do list is different in Mexico, UK (photos)
Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America: The Winter Soldier, keeps a list of stuff he needs to check out — stuff he missed during his 70 years asleep. It turns out the list movie goers see on the screen depends on where you see the movie. The American version (photo, top) includes disco, Steve Jobs and Thai food.
The United Kingdom list has the Beatles and the World Cup:
Mas…Captain America’s to-do list is different in Mexico, UK (photos)
Stunning! Diving off Isla Mujeres, MX (video)
Peter Bennett Lefebvre shot some stunning closeup footage when he went diving off Isla Mujeres. Lefebvre set it to music by Manu Chao (Me Gusta Tu) and we think it came out pretty cool. Amazing little fishies! Ghostly crabs! Squirming squids! Reluctant sea urchins! Bizarre creatures we don’t know exactly what! Yellow, porous and absorbent esponjas! Check it out.
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Abuela Mexi-twerks to marimba street band (video)
When a killer marimba street band starts laying down epic beats, what’s Abuelita to do? Dance, dance baby.
Street art of San Cristobal de las Casas, Chiapas, MX (photos)
POCHO amigo Professor Gary Burnett just uploaded a brilliant set of photos he shot in San Cristobal de las Casas, Chiapas, where the 1994 Zapatista (EZLN) uprising was centered. The profe has a good eye for political and surreal street art.
Mas…Street art of San Cristobal de las Casas, Chiapas, MX (photos)
Mexican company intros plug-in electric moped (video)
Armadillo Motors has begun production and sales of the very first hecho en Mexico electric vehicle, La Hybridus, a bicicleta electrica. And it looks from the company’s Facebook page that they’ve got some local police departments on the delivery list:
El Chapo Chronicles: Too many Guzmans confuse New Jersey Jews’ news
(PNS reporting from LAKEWOOD, NJ) The story was confusing for the few Ultra-Orthodox Jews who get their world news from The Lakewood Shopper, a free “penny saver” community weekly newspaper published here.
The Shopper mistakenly included a photo of actor Luis Guzman in a story about Mexico’s arrest of drug cartel kingpin Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman.
Mas…El Chapo Chronicles: Too many Guzmans confuse New Jersey Jews’ news
Pac-Man puppets in Mexico are ‘Victorioso!’ (video)
What does Pac-Man say? In Mexico, Pac-Man says “Juaca Juaca,” of course.
PREVIOUSLY ON MEXICAN VIDEO GAME THEATRE:
¡Hasta luego, El Chapo! (toon)
(Based on a stunning World War II American government propaganda poster, Americanos Todos, by Luis Helguera. Click on the image for the full-sized hi-res version.)
Melania Benítez hasn’t cut her hair for 20 years (video)
Melania Benítez hasn’t cut her hair for 20 years and now it’s eight feet long!
La joven hace 20 años que no se lo corta porque dice que una vez que se lo cortó se arrepintió porque según dice no le quedaba bien y desde entonces optó por dejárselo crecer.
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Mas…Melania Benítez hasn’t cut her hair for 20 years (video)
UFO/OVNI hovers over park in the Yucatan — what is it? (video)
The video shows the bright object hovering over Los Almedros II Park in Ciudad Caucel, in the Yucutan.
A putative UFO was recorded on video on 11 February 2014. The videographer adds that it was recorded at 22:00 hours on that day, adding: “I’m not saying it’s a spaceship, but it is an unidentified flying object.”
Mas…UFO/OVNI hovers over park in the Yucatan — what is it? (video)
Super Bowl Sunday is guacamole’s biggest day (videos)
Americans will eat 100 million pounds of avocados on Super Bowl Sunday (that’s 100,000,000), mostly as guacamole:
Southern California Public Radio reports:
Avocado growers in Mexico have figured out that Americans need a lot of avocados about now, and they’re always ready to meet the demand.
“They step up their volume for those weeks leading up to Super Bowl, and they do it each year,” said Steve Taft, President of Eco Farms Avocados Inc in Temecula. His 40-year old business grows and packs avocados, but also imports them from countries like Mexico, Chile, Peru, and New Zealand. He said this time of year, about 90% of the avocados consumed in the U.S. come from growers in Mexico.
Baby Margaret sure loves her some guacamole:
A Very Merry Mexican New Year from Sesame Street (video)
Hitting a piñata until the goodies inside fall out is hard work, but somebody’s got to do it. Happy New Year from Sesame Street!