Check out this enthusiastic greeting and salute from a citizen to members of the Border Patrol, said to have been recorded several weeks ago by one Danny Binladin in Perris, CA. [NSFW adult language.]
PREVIOUSLY ON LA MIGRA:
Mas…Enthusiastic dude salutes the Border Patrol (NSFW video)
They’re on guard all across Los Angeles — the dedicated officers of L.A. Illegal Canadian Enforcement (LA-ICE) — keeping us safe from the border-crashing Canuckians hordes of the Great White North. In this episode, the LA-ICE team investigates a motorist suspected of Driving While Canadian.
Latinopia writes:
Quetzal is an East Los Angeles Chican@ band whose music reflects the social, political and cultural struggles of Latinos in the United States and Latin America. Founded in 1994 by Quetzal Flores, the group won a Grammy for their album Imaginaries in 2013. They performed their original song, “Migra,” about the plight of Mexican immigrants crossing into the United States to seek a better life, at the Levitt Pavilion in Pasadena’s Memorial Park on August 14, 2013. The lead singer of the group is Martha Gonzalez. This video was produced, is owned an copyrighted by Barrio Dog Productions, Inc. and is posted on vimeo and Latinopia.com by permission.
When Moses attracts the attention of the MIGRA, he seeks out his amigo Jesús for some help. Can this Holy Tag Team come up with a miracle to defeat the haters? [Written and produced by: Josh Healey. Directed by: Yvan Iturriaga. Starring: Corey Fischer (Moses), Richard Montoya (Jesús), and Jeri Lynn Cohen (Zippy). Produced by: Favianna Rodriguez. Executive Produced by: Culture Strike.]
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A few weeks ago we featured some astounding videos of actors’ (dramatic) readings of Yelp customer reviews — customer reviews of US-Mexico border crossings.
NPR’s Latino USA with Maria Hinjosa snagged Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz last week to find out if he had anything to add to the discussion.
Listen here to learn if he did! 😉
Mas…POCHO Jefe Lalo Alcaraz Yelps about the border on NPR (audio)
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) The Senate’s approval of a bipartisan “immigration reform” bill Thursday — a bill which Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) says will create “the most militarized border since the Berlin Wall” — has defense contractors talking, and drooling.
The hot topic? The untold millions of dollars that may become available if Uncle Sam gets serious about “security.”
It’s the inevitable transition, cynics say, from Eisenhower’s old-school military-industrial complex to the new Post-Millennial MIGRA-Industrial Complex. But government contractors and suppliers have a more nuanced view.
Mas…Defense contractors on immigration bill: ‘Time to get a new Beemer’
Life with the Guzman family was already crazy, and then masked uncle Tio Lucho learned about Facebook in his ESL class. Will the Internets ever be the same? (NSFW language.)
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) The “Gang of Eight” immigration reform plan revealed yesterday mandates a Border Patrol Agent Clone Army, according to details released by Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL.)
“Two hundred thousand clones are immediately available for deployment on the border” when the bill passes, a jubilant Rubio said at a Capitol Hill press conference this morning. “The minute Obama signs the bill, we’ll send in the clones!”
East Los band La Santa Cecilia is out with a new song and video about la MIGRA, AKA ICE AKA Immigration and Customs Enforcement AKA El Hielo. Here are the lyrics in English and Spanish courtesy NotOneMoreDeportation.com:
Mas…La Santa Cecilia: ‘El Hielo (ICE)’ is loose on the streets (music video)
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Scores of immigrants released due to sequester-forced budget cuts are headed to the nation’s capital to fill gaps in the labor pool, PNS has learned.
Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) began releasing low priority immigrants from detention centers in New Jersey, Louisiana, California, Texas and Florida earlier this week.
After the immigrants were released, PNS got reports that congressional staffers were driving past detention centers trying to pick up the immigrants for jobs in Washington.
“Immigrants are, once again, doing the job that no one else can do: balancing the budget,” said Manuel Padilla, who was released from a detention center in New Jersey Monday. “About 40 of us came from Jersey, in the back of three pickups!”
Mas…Sequester-released immigrants head to D.C. to fix the budget
Is that a green card in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Make friends and influence people with a Chicano handshake?
That’s right, pochas y pochos, you too can reinforce your raza credibility with a puro handshake, as Subcommandanta del News Sara Inés Calderón demonstrates in her viral video. She illustrates the proper form for handshakes in Califas and Tejas plus throws in a variation that answers the musical question Why Can’t We Be Friends?
On the music front, Pocho Ñews Service Floridita Burro Jefe Santino J. Rivera takes a look at the contradiction between Rage Against the Machine’s message and some clueless fans’ love of the band. Hint: VP wannabe Paul Ryan isn’t the only doofus.
On the international business news beat, Subcommandante del Cultura Victor Payan blows the lid off the Republican effort to thwart the sale of bankrupt Hostess to Mexico’s Bimbo. Revelations from the TwinkieLeaks website include this money quote from GOP guru Karl Rove: “They can have my DingDong when they pry it from my cold, dead hand.”
And New Jack City Burro Jefe Elise Roedenbeck illuminates the softer side of South America with the sad tale of a Peruvian girl and her llama — a lament for lost youth, innocence and a little girl’s dreams.
These are top stories that broke the ñews on POCHO this week:
Goodbye, racist Arizona, says Tierra.
8. After generations of risking having your heart cut out when you climb a pyramid, Latinos have inherited a genetic fear of heights.
7. Jumping high and fast? Latinos ride low and slow.
6. That’s Mexican jumping BEANS not Mexican jumping balloons.
Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons Latinos don’t jump from balloons over New Mexico
“Comprehensive immigration reform” is like the weather — everyone talks about it but no one does anything about it. That’s why real Americans are going wild over PORT-A-BORDER, the personal hi-tech illegal immigration solution that keeps those darn Mexicans out of your personal space. (Possibly NSFW language.)
8. El guau guau – Also known as a dog. Ferocious creatures.
7. The old country – If you don’t behave I’m going to send you to México next summer, is that what you want??? That’s what I thought!
6. La policia – Look, if you don’t behave I’m going to call the police over and they are going to take you away.
Mas…Pocho Ocho scary things Latinos threaten their kids with
(PNS reporting from EL PASO) The smell of grilled cebollas greeted visitors to a carne asada party in the back yard of the Lopez home in El Paso’s lower valley Saturday evening, as the family celebrated the graduation of the Lopez family’s prodigal son as a “Pinche Migra.”
José “Johnny” Marrufo completed the 58-day course at the United States Customs and Border Protection’s Border Patrol Academy located in Artesia, NM in July.
He graduated as a Border Patrol Agent and is now ready to detain his Mexican brethren.
“I feel happy that I will protect our border from terrorists and criminal aliens, some of whom are my relatives” the former Riverside High School third baseman told PNS.
Mas…Son of immigrants takes the oath to become a ‘Pinche Migra’
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) Older undocumented immigrants have been trying to pass as youngsters so they can qualify for the Obama Administration’s new Deferred Action program, PNS has learned.
On Thursday, several elderly immigrants were hustled out in the Denver, CO immigration office trying to fake the required cutoff age of 30.
ICE reported that they found one viejito, known only as “Chavo,” hiding inside a barrel and dressed in in a striped shirt, red suspenders, brown khaki shorts and a propeller hat. ICE told PNS that the man was malnourished and kept asking for ham sandwiches.
Mas…Uncle Sam on lookout for oldsters trying to pass as DREAMers
He’s artificially intelligent, muy guapo with dark hair and blue eyes, plus he speaks and understands Spanish and English. He also has a new, high-profile job with Tio Sam’s U.S. Customs and Border Protection Service interviewing people crossing into Los United Estates at Nogales, AZ (photo, above.)
What’s he missing aside from a body and an analog existence? This poor robovato needs a name; right now his bosses just refer to him as the AVATAR (Automated Virtual Agent for Truth Assessments in Real-Time.)
Here are the Pocho Ocho names we like best:
8. Mex Headroom
7. C3 Pito
6. Will Robinson
A seemingly-friendly contractor hires a migrant laborer for a house painting job but their relationship soon gets complicated. Will their man crush outlast the law?
They journeyed hundreds of miles to make a new life in a new land. They crossed borders, forded rivers and walked in the burning heat. But nobody expected the Zombie Migra!
(PNS reporting from CYBERESPACE) They slip across the border at night, invisible, hidden in the multitude of American web surfers, bringing with them accented characters, exclamation points turned on their heads and foreign ideas like “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Mexican and Mexican-adjacent Internet users called “netbacks” are sucking up American bandwidth and adding so-called “salsa” to American websites — and right-wing forces want them stopped.
Mas…Ex-cyber-cop: Stop border infiltration by Internet-powered ‘netbacks’
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) Ace Pocho Ñews Service contributor, author and hardcore poet (Demon in the Mirror and Amerikkkan Stories) S. J. Rivera sat down to talk to himself about his Self-Deportation Book Tour and what it’s like to have a book signing at Guantanamo Bay.
PNS: Your new book is AmeriKKKan Stories (Hardcore Poetry) – is it a Klan book or…?
S. J. Rivera: Yes and no. Actually there’s a very true story in there about the time I ran a guy over with my car. His name was Donny and I hit him on purpose because he may or may not have been in the klan(Hi, Donny!) There’s stuff in there about redneck zen, badmouthing the government, pochismo, fat Elvis, EMS horror stories, McDonald’s Nazis – you name it, it’s in there.
Mas…S. J. Rivera: My Guantanamo Bay self-deportation book tour
In a curious move, the Barack Obama White House is campaigning tirelessly for the Latino re-election vote while also deporting a record number of undocumented immigrants.
In a mad dash to burnish their law-and-order credentials, Obama officials have deported over a million undocumented immigrants during the past 2 1/2 years and are on track to out-deport the two-term Bush administration’s 1.57 million. In fact, they have deported so many undocumented immigrants they may have depleted the supply.
They have turned to an American resource to fill the void: deporting U.S. citizens. The instances are numerous, and growing:
