The UFO/OVNI sightings of bright lights flying into Mexico City’s Popocateptl volcano — the ones authorities said were optical illusions last time around — have shown up on TV news again.
And peep this video of what appears to be the Mothership flying over Santa Clarita, northwest of Los Angeles:
Mas…UFO/OVNI sightings over Popocatepetl, Santa Clarita CA (videos)
It’s Valentine’s Day on Mija Weekly! Fall in love with drones, skimpy outfits, and learn the true meaning of Valentine’s Day. Try not to go into a diabetic coma.
Mas…Ñewsweek: Elise Roedenbeck’s ‘Mija Weekly’ 02.11.13 (video)
This week on Mija Weekly I discuss immigration and la ganga de ocho, Obama’s love of skeet, and I celebrate Black History Month Peruvian style — all while battling the flu!
Don’t forget to leave me your comments below; I promise I’m not contagious.
In the second installment of Mija Weekly ñews wrap I discuss lip-synching, immigration, my chusma hair dresser and I answer questions from you pochos. Also I don’t drop the F-bomb.
Thank you to everyone who watched last week! Don’t forget to leave me your comments below.
POCHO’s New Jack City Burro Jefe Elise Roedenbeck wraps up this week’s ñews in the premiere installment of Mija Weekly. Please note she is quite insistent that you leave comments below. (NSFW language.)
It’s never a slow ñews day in Rancho Pocho, what with the freezing temperatures, babbling stars on awards shows and fools trying to outrun the police. Take, for example, this baboso who is born to run the streets near Los Angeles International Airport…
YouTube user Karma Fairuth is really getting sick and tired of your complaining about how you are always a victim and “Oh, poor you!” and suggests you move past the negative energy and begin building a better future for yourself. (NSFW language.) There’s more Karma on Facebook.
It is sometime in the near future.
Laws have been set in motion to protect the American Homeland. Your freedom and sanity are at stake. Oh, and your jobs.
I forgot about your jobs. And your beautifully domesticated wives and children. You pay your taxes, yet you feel one-upped. Lied to. I know. I have a mortgage and a timeshare I haven’t paid in months. Meanwhile our lazy neighbors to the south consume our resources. But there’s no need to fear. No longer do we have to sit in Victoria’s Secret as our wives are gawked at by gang-banging border hoppers. No. Victoria is just beyond the horizon. And one man risks it all in his comfy radio studio located somewhere in the Arizona desert.
That man is Lance Liberty for 101.3 Honest Radio. Take it away, Lance…
Mas…Xican@ Space Odyssey: Lance Liberty reports for 101.3 Honest Radio
A MAD-TV news crew is on the air live from an East Los bank branch. Live TV news can be so unpredictable.
(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Selena’s old band is hitting the road this summer with a holographic version of the murdered superstar and Jennifer Lopez wants the part.
JLo played Selena Quintanilla-Pérez in a 1997 biopic about the singer.
“We tried to tell her a hologram was not an actual person and that playing a hologram was not the same thing as being in a movie, but she didn’t seem to understand,” band manager Beto Salinas told PNS.
Lopez called band members directly and begged for the role.
Vicente Fernandez, Los Grammys and the continuing adventures of presidential hopeful @MexicanMitt were the big stories this week on POCHO:
(PNS reporting from an undisclosed Goat Ranch in Chihuahua) Mexican Mitt Romney’s headquarters here today released their first television commercial, a tribute to the “most Mexican man in the world.” This ad shows why @MexicanMitt is the leader of the Juan Percent. He doesn’t always make TV commercials, but when he does, they’re pinche funny. Stay wealthy, my friends.
Immigrant Mexican labor has all but disappeared from the Alabama landscape and the state has lost $10.8 billion in rotting crops and revenue.
Lawmakers desperate for solutions hope the Canuck Program will resuscitate the Yellowhammer State’s ignorant and bigoted economy.
Mas…Alabama legislators to ‘import’ Canadian workers to fill jobs
(PNS reporting from CYBERESPACE) Although Mitt Romney has lately been in the news for promoting self-deportation, there is someone who beat him to the concept back in the 1990s — Daniel D. Portado. The self-proclaimed “original self-deportationist” encouraged others to follow his example and self-deport during California’s brush with anti-immigration legislation in the 1990s.
In this current round of self-deportation, groups have sprung up to actually promote self-deportation, and Romney’s rhetoric has been taken seriously in some politically conservative circles. We interviewed Daniel D. Portado about self-deportation and here’s what he said.
PNS: Rumor has it that you are the original self deportation asked, is that true?
Daniel D. Portado: Yes. I clearly invented self-deportation in 1994 during the wonderful Proposition 187 era in California. I founded the group “Hispanics For Wilson”, a GOP support group of Governor Pete Wilson. Wilson correctly wanted to chase all the illegals out of California after they were done mowing our lawns, but before payday.
Mas…Meet Daniel D. Portado, the original ‘self-deportationist’
Daniel D. Portado is no newbie. Check out this interview with NPR’s Ira Glass on This American Life.
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) The moon was high on the debate agenda last night as Gov. Mitt Romney and former Rep. Newt Gingrich crossed lightsabers with both candidates fighting hard to capture the crucial lunar vote.
The encounter, held at Farpoint Station Laser Tag in Orlando, was the 79th GOP debate and the last before Tuesday’s primary election.
Gingrich, his arms unfurled, set the tone by calling for the establishment of a permanent base on the moon by the year 2020. Gingrich has also set this date as a deadline for establishing a new marriage with a heretofore unexplored Mrs. Gingrich #4.
Warning that the Chinese would dominate outer space if the U.S.A. does not step up in the moonbase race, Gingrich said “Frankly, the Chinese can probably set up the first Panda Express on the moon in 30 minutes or less.”
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) As the Newt Gingrich campaign fights to win votes in the upcoming GOP primaries, his campaign has reached out to the Sunshine State’s Spanish-espeaking voters. As a public service, the former Freaker of the Spouse has prepared this version of the commercial with subtitles for voters who don’t habla Espanol. Mitt Romney’s campaign released a similarly-subtitled video last week.
Mas…Video: Gingrich Spanish TV ad now with English subtitles
(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) When Gov. Jan Brewer met visiting Pres. Barack Obama at the Phoenix-Mesa Gateway airport Wednesday they appeared to have engaged in a testy verbal exchange. The PNS crack mobile team of forensic audiologists have managed to extract the sound of the conversation from the background noise. Here’s what Obama and Brewer said (NSFW.)
Mas…BARACK vs. BREWER! Exclusive audio: When Obama met Brewer at the PHX airport (NSFW)
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) The new wave of so-called “Cuban” immigrants washing up on the shores of the Sunshine State are really Mexicanos in disguise, at least according to one coyote.
In an exclusive interview with PNS, people smuggler Chivo Rodriguez says the scheme is already an open secret in Mexico and it’s only a matter of time before the whole country is singing Guantanamera!
During the interview, Lalo gave props to pioneering Latino cartoonist Gus Arriola, confessed he misses Herman Cain and revealed that he stands 100% behind @MexicanMitt.
Outer espace especial correspondent UFOHunter, the man behind ¡PutaNASA!, is back.
Building on his groundbreaking expose of the links between Mayan Doomsday 2012, gray aliens on the Moon and NASA UFO coverups, Orlando-based Hunter
Then he asks the obvious question: IS THIS THE SOUND OF THE MOTHERSHIP?
Not safe for work.
(PNS reporting from TUCSON) Even as John Huppenthal takes a breather now that teaching the alphabet is banned in Tucson schools, his Taliban-style campaign of education purification continues in the hands of allies.
“We won’t stop with just readin’ and writin’,” they say, “so ‘rithmetic is next!”
Superintendent of Public Instruction Huppenthal told PNS why he is terrified by brown-skinned children who read books and ask preguntas:
(PNS reporting from DIXIE) The Latino Labor Association and Limpiadores Alliance today announced they are backing former Mass. Gov. Mitt Romney in advance of Saturday’s South Carolina GOP primary vote.
LALALA president Ed “Big Tiny” Calvados said Romney offers the best hope for Hispanics to achieve the American dream of fame, fortune and greed.
“The choice is obvious,” he said. “Gingrich wants to take our food stamps and ghetto language, Santorum’s trickle-down stinks and Rick Perry’s Tejano tushie will get spanked in the general election.”
“Mitt walks the walk. Take his position on jobs,” he said. “Mitt has eight houses, and if you figure a gardener and a housekeeper in each, that’s almost a dozen and a half gente off the welfare rolls and onto the payroll.”
Hatred of the poor edged out racism and homophobia in the Iowa GOP caucuses, a Fresno man was mauled by chihuahuas and died of shame, and the attempt to repeal the California Dream Act failed when the referendum’s backer (photo, right) couldn’t score enough racist jerkwad signatures to get their scheme placed on the ballot.
For these Pochostan stories and more, click here:
Mas…The Week in Ñews: Iowa analysis, death by chihuahua, looking ‘Mexican’
Comic, actor and soon-to-get-a-fulltime gig Al Madrigal dropped by POCHO world headquarters and Pocho-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz got him to sit down for an impromptu and poorly-lit chat.
Al talks about his move from LA to NYC for his new Daily Show news team gig and reveals a joint project with POCHO.
Arizona has made it illegal to be brown in their state, now that a judge has ruled that it is illegal to think brown.
Tucson Unified School District’s Mexican-American Studies Department has lost an appeal before a Razaphobic judge and faces the complete dismantling of their academic program. Mexican-American Studies educates brown and non-brown children, but the main problem to Superintendent John Huppenthal is that brown children come out smarter and empowered after taking MAS courses.
Arizona state school officials violate the educational rights of brown children while Sheriff Joe Arpaio allows the violation of brown children.
Cue the banjos!
(PNS reporting from POCHO RICO) San Juan Mayor Jorge Santini’s Christmas card — which features a graphic interspecies love tryst — is “a good start,” the North American Man-Mammal Love Association (NAMMLA) enthused Wednesday.
“We’ve been after the mayor all year to get him to stand up for our right to love our furry neighbors as ourselves,” local NAMMLA leader Juan Don Gamera told a press conference in capital city San Juan.
“This card doesn’t go all the way,” the Boricuan said, “but when he’s not ashamed to show the lion lying down with the lamb, so to speak, it’s a good start.”
Mas…NAMMLA: Mayor’s animal love Christmas card ‘a good start’
Pocho.com, news y satire for the Spanglish Generation, is returning to Los Interwebs — muy bigger, mas better and Real Soon Now.
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