Mas…La Cucaracha: Patriarchy Я Us! (Academy Awards Edition 2024)
nomination
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Trump crowned with ‘Ring of Fire’ y Johnny Cash (toon, audio)
I fell into a burnin’ ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire, the ring of fire
I fell into a burnin’ ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire, the ring of fire
Johnny Cash somehow manages a version of Ring of Fire en Español:
Mas…Trump crowned with ‘Ring of Fire’ y Johnny Cash (toon, audio)
Dear Bernie Sanders: Funny, you don’t look Mexican! (toon)
[There’s lots more from Alex Garcia de Aztlan on the Instagram.]
Mexican Mitt Romney: DON TROMP ES CON MAN
HOLA MIS PINCHES!
I had to speak up, because of this human hot cheeto el DONALD TROMP.
The REPUBLICAN PARTY is turning into one of those fiestas that go on past 3 am and ALL YOUR DRONK TIOS FIGHT and the CHOTA comes to arrest everybody. Pero at this fiesta, no one is arresting the one who ESTARTED ALL THE PEDO: DONALD TROMP.
He is the worst thing to happen to the Republican Fiesta since TED CRUZ Y MARCO RUBIO, the CUBAN BLUNDER TWINS!
TROMP is not the man to represent the GOP. GOP now stands for GET OUT PENDEJO!
Pocho Ocho top lessons of the Iowa GOP caucuses (NSFW video)
What can we learn from the Senator Ted Cruz (R-Canadia) victory Monday in the Iowa GOP caucuses? It’s time to support CANADIANS FOR PRESIDENT! [NSFW video, one F-bomb.]
And what else? How about the Pocho Ocho Top Lessons We Learned from the Iowa GOP Caucuses:
8. He who smelt it, dealt it.
7. If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry caucus.
6. I know you are, but what am I?
Mas…Pocho Ocho top lessons of the Iowa GOP caucuses (NSFW video)
Bill Clinton’s Pocho Ocho best lines in his speech to the DNC
Former President Bill Clinton’s speech Wednesday to the Democratic Convention was long (48 minutes), complex and filled with facts and arithmetic — maybe too long and filled, although girth is as important as length according to the email we get here.
As a public service, therefore, and sanitized for your protection, we present the Pocho Ocho best lines from Clinton’s speech to the DNC:
8. In Hope, Arkansas, offshore banking deposits are at that glory hole down by Stonewall Creek.
7. Republican arithmetic makes as much sense to this old country boy as those Chinese hookers in Harlem!
6. Sandra Fluke: Call me maybe.
Mas…Bill Clinton’s Pocho Ocho best lines in his speech to the DNC
Mexican Mitt Romney: ¡I AM THE LAST JUAN STANDING!
AJUA! You didn’t think I could do it. You doubted me. You said, “Oh no, Mexican Mitt, you cannot be the Republican nominee! They hate you so! They would never EVER let such a VIRILE, MACHO HOMBRE become the REPUBLICAN NOMINEE!” By virile and macho hombre, you must mean that a Mormon could never win the GOP nomination.
But you were WRONG. Last night, I finally got the required 1,144 delegates for the Republican nomination by winning Texas, the lone state to vote this week. Like I always said, “ALL MY VIEJAS LIVE IN TEJAS!” And I received a full 90% of my viejas’ votes. (I’ll have a word with you later, Margarita.)
Romney’s new Spanish TV ad now available with English subtitles
(PNS reporting from GUACHINGON) As the Mitt Romney works to grow support before the GOP convention, his campaign has reached out to Spanish-espeaking voters with a new ad, Dia Uno. POCHO translated the commercial for voters who don’t habla Español.
Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of Pochismo Inc., a California corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court. Don’t ask us, we just work here.
Romney campaign tries to shake off Etch A Sketch remark
The Romney campaign is one built on strong policy principles, unless, of course, they need to change them to pander to primary voters.
“Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Everything changes,” Romney campaign advisor Eric Fehrnstrom said Wednesday on CNN. “It’s almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up and restart all over again.”
Rick Santorum’s Pocho Ocho political proposals
Although many are shocked by presidential pretender Rick Santorum’s proposal to consider statehood for Puerto Rico if it drops Spanish and espeaks English, it turns out this idea is only the newest of his Brainfarts Brainstorms for America.
Here are the Pocho Ocho:
8. Mexico’s Los Tigres del Norte will be offered citizenship if they lose their stripes
7. Jews get to go to Catholic Heaven if they stop being, you know, Jews
6. African-Americans get access to high-paying Wall Street jobs when they straighten out that hair thing