office

Porn video editor fired for browsing spreadsheets at work

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(PNS reporting from VAN NUYS) Adult movie editor Roberto Mendoza was fired from his job at Burning Sensations Movie Productions last week after being repeatedly caught browsing spreadsheets on his computer.

“It started innocently enough,” he told PNS. “There I was editing a facial pop shot compilation from our Fish Tacos series, when I noticed someone had left a spreadsheet of sales figures in with the video files.”

“I’d always been a little…curious. I took a break from Final Cut Pro and opened up the file, and suddenly my screen was filled with all these rigid columns of data.”

A spokesman from Burning Sensations said that following his dismissal, an inspection of Mendoza’s computer had revealed a hidden folder containing over 3,000 spreadsheets.

Mas…Porn video editor fired for browsing spreadsheets at work

Work in ‘The Office’? You need our Pocho Ocho Pro Tips for Latinos

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8. Don’t wear your sombrero to the office — unless it’s casual sombrero Friday.

7. If you are going to speak in Spanish at the office, talk shit about your non-Spanish speaking co-workers.

6. Respond with “Yes, I am an immigrant” when your co-workers ask you where you are from. You don’t want to be rude and tell them you were actually born in Chicago, now do you?

Mas…Work in ‘The Office’? You need our Pocho Ocho Pro Tips for Latinos

Dear Abuelita: WiFi bath salts, leave it to Beaver, going down

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Hey Old Lady!
Oh they think they are so friggin clever but I know what they are up to listening to me through my wifi and microwave well i have nothing to hide so neener neener Mr. and Ms. Big Brother politically correct death panel.

YOU WAN TO TAKE MY GUNNAWAY WELL HELL NO WE WONT GO. Don’t tase me bro hahah. I fought the law and law Juan. law Juan get it? Rock and roll will always die it will always be yakkity yak don’t talk back take out the papers and the trash or you dont get no steenkin cash. You have advice for me OLD LADY?

Why you smell like mota and not mocha? hahahaha.
Signed, Dada Doodoo

Dear Dodo Bird,
Que idiota! Have the drogas worn off yet? I don’t have time for your paranoid rants and raves. There are perfectly good street corners for you to stand on for spewing this kind of nonsense. Why don’t you go find one and leave me alone. Make sure you get there early before the OG vatos from Victory Outreach beat you to it. Better yet, stand on a corner opposite them and use your Mr. Microphone. I know you have one.

Mas…Dear Abuelita: WiFi bath salts, leave it to Beaver, going down