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Pocho Ocho probable ways the CIA gave Hugo Chavez cancer

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Venezuelan Vice President Nicolas Maduro (he may be the new president by the time you read this) has accused the United Estates of poisoning dead Hugo Chavez with special commie-killing cancer.

We talked to our sources in the intelligence community to compile the pocho ocho most likely ways the U.S. could have given Commissar Chavez the deadly disease:

8. Horsemeat — it’s what’s for dinner

7. Pinche high-fructose corn syrup

6. GMO salmon

Mas…Pocho Ocho probable ways the CIA gave Hugo Chavez cancer

Elvis Presley, undocumented worker: ‘Fun in Acapulco’ (photos,video)

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The year is 1963 and Elvis is on a roll. As his star rises on the American music scene, Hollywood lifts its head and takes notice: he gets signed for a fun Mexican adventure romp entitled Fun in Acapulco.

While gorgeous exterior shots are completed on location in Mexico, Elvis shoots his scenes in “Mexico,” a Hollywood backlot commissioned by Hal Wallis Productions and through the magic of less-than-spectacular editing and rear-projection shots seems to dance and sing his sad way (he’s mourning the accidental death of his brother he may have caused) through this somewhat harmless farce.

Of course (as I’ve written many times before), you’ve got to be a fool to turn to Hollywood for accurate portrayals of “foreign spaces”–still, Fun in Acapulco is not half bad.

The kid in the clip below gives new meaning to the word irony, as Elvis, “American,” conspires to work as an “illegal alien” in Mexico.

Mas…Elvis Presley, undocumented worker: ‘Fun in Acapulco’ (photos,video)